Old Yardleians - Latest News

Warm Weather Players

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 15:25:50 GMT

This is just a theory at present, with no scientific evidence to support it but whenever I watch our teams play in near-arctic conditions they just do not perform. On a bitterly cold saturday afternoon I decided on two coats, hat, scarf and gloves and travelled due west from home to Tilehouse Lane to watch our relatively inexperienced first XV take on high-flying Shipston. She who knows all about shopping offered me the alternative and with hindsight I think I might have taken the wrong option as we were on the end of a comprehensive stuffing.

The Development squad travelled over to Spartans, somewhere near the Belfry (a golf club?) and when asked for a match report, my athletic friend who plays on the wing or full-back told me that he takes full responsibility for losing a game that should probably have been won. If you really want to know the full story then see Chicken and listen to his summary.

The Vandals seem to be back in the winning mood and I have a Mark (Eddie Butler) Baldwin version of their trip to take on Spartans Vets.

The Vandals travelled up past the Belfry to battle against the Spartans. Two sides named after historic waring tribes with players in both teams old enough to have been around all those years ago. Short of forwards Ralph had to play on the flank where he had a great game and later on Nick "The Assassin" Levey played hooker in contested scrums while Barrel joined on the flank. The Vandals played the first half up the hill and against the wind. Spartans put plenty of pressure on the Vandals line but never really looked like they would score. Strong tackling repelled them on all fronts. Meanwhile when the Vandals ventured up the hill they scored twice with tries from Bobo and Barstool. Ralph converted one. In the second half the Vandals used the hill to ensure the result was never in doubt. The continually pummelled the Spartan line which cracked with more tries scored by Max, Phil Painter and I think Ralph. Max also added a penalty. A good win with the Vandals passing 500 points for the season so far.

The Young ones

It was training for all our young stars except for the Under 16s who travelled to the winter wonderland of Water Orton to play the Salts. There was some fascinating scenery that included electricity pylons and high voltage cables. Just as shocking, it could be said, was the sight of Tyrell and Jordan in their tights. There are rumours that Adrian is going to bring his handbag if they persist in such style. Very similar to their previous match our lads did very little for the first half apart from giving the home team a generous start. When the time starts running out we played some very good rugby but the clock beat us in the end. A special mention for Josh our hooker for his dazzling try!. I think I understand how it goes but our lack of discipline has let us down for the second week in a row and the boys will be told in no uncertain terms, if you're in the bin, then you are letting your own team mates down and retaliation should be avoided even when it's difficult to do so. However, I also believe that the man with the whistle can make a big difference. Penalising the minor offences is good as long as you don't miss the more serious ones such as head-high and swinging arm tackles because that is often when bad feelings creep in.

Fixtures

Saturday 4th Feb

First Xv      v      Southam      away   (League)
Dev XV     v      Veseyans     away
Vandals       v       Harborne    home

Sunday

Under 8     v     Harbury   v   Old Laurentians     at Harbury
Under 9     v         "                        "                           "
Under 11    v          "                                                    "

Under 16     v    Bromsgrove        away

Social Occasion (not to be missed)

Graham, Sharon, Pat and co. are inviting you to a cheese and wine evening at the club. Graham has gone to France (another warm weather fan) to purchase fine wines and Sharon has gone to Iceland (Stratford Road, Shirley not the North Pole) for a selection of cheeses. Pat is preparing a game of Mr and Mrs for additional entertainment. Details are £6 per person which includes 3 bottles of fine wine per table of 6. It all starts at 7.30 pm and most importantly, the date is Friday 24th Feb.

And Finally

We give you a two goal start and how long do we need to forge ahead? seven minutes.
remember Mr Wenger knows best.

A PRESSURE-FREE SATURDAY (EXCEPT FOR TONY FITZ !)

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 20:14:39 GMT

Every now and again, the league fixture set up allows for a league-free saturday. It gives the players carrying injuries a chance to rest and gives Peter a chance to do some calorie-loading to build up his strength for the next match. It also gives the team selectors a chance to experiment.

We welcomed Old Griffs to play an Old Ys 'A' team and will post a match report as soon as it arrives.

The 'B' team, similar in appearance to our Vandals entertained Harborne 3rds and althoughMartyn has dropped out of the literary group of match reporters, we seem to have found an able replacement in Eddie Butler or is it Mark Baldwin? Here we go.
In celebration of Tony Fitzgerald's 50th Birthday, Match Secretary, Tom Power arranged a home game for the Vandals as part of the 50th celebrations. Against a very young Harborne XV the big Vandals pack lost one of their major weapons when the visitors said they could only manage uncontested scrums. This was despite Old Yards offering them front row players. To counter this the Vandals used catch and drive lineouts whenever in the Harbrne twenty-two. With Phil Goldbourne dominating as usual, good ball was secured and early on forward drives lead to a brace for loose head prop Gary "Bobbo" Robinson. Further pressure lead to tries by scum half Sean Byrne and the Birthday boy himself Tony Fitz. Ralph added two conversions. Then another driving maul lead to the first try of the season for hooker Mark Baldwin. Half time arrived with a 29-0 lead. For the second half a number of changes were made that initially unsettled the team and Harborne managed a score. Then business as usual returned. Bobbo score another brace to give him four in the game. Prop Tomo scored meaning all the font row scored in the same game and new Welsh centre Nick Saunders scored for the second week running. Ralph again added two conversions. Final score Vandals 53 - 7 Harborne 3rds

Minis and Juniors

Our stars of the future played Bournville on sunday. I support the old saying, 'why keep a dog and bark yourself?' so here we go with the team managers' reports.

After playing Bournville away from home in the early season (on astroturf), we knew they would be another solid test after the last fixture against Bromsgrove. The team consisisted of Adam, Alfie, Ben, George, Harley, Harry & William.

In our first game, bolstered by the return of William after a few weeks layoff, we started well with a try early doors from Ben. The conditions were very windy and the lads passed well under the circumstances with very few handling errors to leave us 1 try up at half time. In the second half we began to dominate with some great defence, managing 2 turnovers and also forcing Bournville into touch on more than one occasion. The attacking play was excellent with all of the players making contributions and having some great runs. William, Alfie, Adam, Harley and Harry all made several line breaks to pass to Ben and George who supported superbly and were able to get over the line. We finished the game with a win at 7-4 with 3 tries each from Ben and George plus one from Harley. Overall this was a really pleasing result against a good side.

In the second game we continued as we finished the first and played some good stuff. As the game wore on Bournville were able to bring on fresh legs, a luxury we didn’t have, and towards the end of the game the boys began to tire, getting caught offside a few times. Despite this they all stayed focused and tried their best, with all of them wanting the ball in attack and tagging mightily. After some desperate defence at the end to keep Bournville out we finished the game with a draw at 5-5 with 4 tries from Ben and one from George.

Well done boys!

A windy day greeted the under 8s for their first match of the season as home against Bournville. We fielded a team of 7 players: Alex, Charlie, Dan E, Dan G, Ellis, Lewis and Presley. Alex took the role of captain and made sure that everyone got their turn to receive and organised the defensive line. The side played well throughout, but were a little rusty in their first match. As a result running sideways and dropping the ball cost them possession a few too many times, but the tackling was magnificient. They manage to take six tags successively from Bournville on a number of occasions, but then gave back possession cheaply when they dropped the ball. They were one try behind by the end of the first and finished up losing 6-3. Alex scored one try and Dan G got two.

They put it all back together in the second match and spread the ball round the team. As a result they emerged winners by 6 tries to 4 with two tries from Presley and a try a piece for Charlie, Alex, Dan G and Lewis. The lads had their second match of the season against Bourneville back in October. At that match it was Bournville who dominated. These matches were an entirely different story. This all goes to show the wonderful progress that the boys have made during the season. Well done lads. Keep it up!

Match report for the U9's vs Bournville

It was a cold and blustery January morning and for one reason or another U9 numbers were down to 8, but undeterred by the sight of 19 lads from Bournville our boys were in great spirits.

Although late in the transfer window we were bolstered by two players on loan from Bournville, so happily fielded a full strength side and what a great recipe for a Sunday morning.

Ollie Lonie captained the first game and both teams were quickly out of the blocks, each battling hard in mid field to keep the ball changing hands. Bournville were stronger in the maul, stealing the ball from us on more than one occasion, but our boys recycled the ball very well through the ruck, and on one occasion went through 5 phases of play without losing possession. So, 1-0 to Bournville soon became 1-1 as one of our 'on loan' players took advantage of some napping at the restart.

Aydon again put in some great tackles but for the first time this season was outshone by Ethan as tackle monster, Ethan was outstanding and saved several strong attempts to breach the old Y's line. Shane, Josh, Samuel, Ollie & Toby all carried well and may be learning that going forwards makes sense, supported by Dan who showed very good awareness to distribute the ball well to get us out of trouble on more than one occasion.

After a very hard fought first game, a credible 5-3 deficit was testiment to a close, well played game.

Did I mention that Bournville brought 19 boys? Fatigue evident, the second game was a little more 1 sided with Bournville crossing 8 times in succession, but with both sides singing along to 'we wish you a merry Christmas' in the dying moments, (despite a warning from the ref that unseasonal singing would result in a penalty) showed the boys enjoyed their outing and could walk away happy that they had put in the effort and had represented old Yardleians with pride and passion, and so deserved a bit of a sing!

Under 16s v   Five ways

With some of our key players missing we travelled to Hopwood to challenge the hosts to a game that is always tight between the two sides.With gale force winds swirling all over the place and on a very cold day, the last thing we wanted was a referee who blew for every little technicality in the Law Book and would not let the game flow. But guess what ! Anyway Fiveways had a goal kicker who bi-sected the posts when required. The old cliche about a game of two halves certainly applied. We didn't turn up until half-time having conceded a couple of soft tries and some penalties for reasons only known to a man in pink. The seceond half was a different story. As frustration increased, especially in the front row, a difference of opinion took place and one of our props who shall remain nameless, made his feelings known to his opposite man with considerable expression. We looked by far the better team at this point in time but although we finished level on 3 tries each, the game was won 25-15 by the home team, the difference being the success rate of the goal kicks.

Thanks to Five ways for another cracking game. I guess we will have to educate our lads regarding some of the finer laws of the game, but boys, 'think what you want about the officials, but don't make it public or you will find that many of the 50/50 decisions go against you'. Ask some of the older guys at the club about John McConell to discover what I mean.

The weekend fixtures

Saturday 28th January
            First XV     v         Shipston         Home     (league)
            Dev XV     v         Spartans        Away
            Vandals       v         Spartans         Away

Sunday   29th January
             Under 16    v        Old Saltleians Away at Watton Lane, Water Orton B46 1PH
              Under 7,8,9,11,    Training

Social

When asked about Tony (the bagpipe man's) 50th bash, my reporter, who asked to be nameless and that the name of a famous racehorse would not be too easy a clue to his identity, commented that there was good music, good food, good beer and good night!

WE HAD TO WIN AND WE DID. A GOOD WEEKEND FOR ALL OUR TEAMS.

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 13:39:23 GMT

Senior Rugby

As most of you were aware, saturday's match at Redditch was a crucial game with the losing side having very little hope of avoiding the drop. This report is a combination of our captain, Tommo, the home team's reporter and myself adding a creative touch seeing that I was back at the home of the Hillbilly watching the Devs.

In a game that would signify almost certain relegation for the losers, Old Yards travelled to Redditch with a confidence that has been lacking in a disappointing season so far. With only 5 minutes played the Ys pocket-sized scrum half Tom Grocott darted through a static Redditch defence to score a try to give his side a 5 point lead. However, as is often the case the hosts fought back almost immediately with a converted try to give them a 7-5 lead. The Ys looked to have the edge but penalty kicks were squandered until eventually Ys fly-half Adam Walker hit the target. Walker then exposed a gap down the blind-side to score an individual try to give the visitors a 13-7 lead. The try of the match came when a Redditch attack broke down in the Yards 22 meter area. Two quick passes saw the ball moved wide to powerful winger Andrew Pearce who sprinted 80 meters, supported closely by Peter Butler, to widen the gap to 18-7

Credit to the home side for not giving up as they scored an opportunist try to offer them some hope but the talented yet inconsistent Walker sealed the victory as well as a bonus point by scoring an individual try and conversion the final score being 25-12 to the Ys.

Meanwhile back at the club, our young lads were waiting for the Dixie Band. The referee, who was very good indeed arrived early enough having travelled from Chaddesley Barker or was it Corbett, and with the visitors dozen brave men we added some of our bench players including Joe Patrick as well as the 'Gas Man'. For a cold day it was not a bad performance as we took control up front with Dave Langley back in action. The Dixies tackled like demons and kept the score down to a respectable level, with the Ys winning 15-0.

Back at Stade Redditch our senior citizens were renewing acquaintances with the home clubs pink shirted Veterans. The match reporter is anonymous, but I bet you can guess who it is.

Redditch Vets 12 - 32 Vandals

The Vandals completed the double over Redditch Vets, a team that has a high win percentage. Redditch took the field in their traditional pink jerseys and performed the Hokey Kokey. Vandals meanwhile were a changed side from the previous week with three players new to the Old Yards - Nick Saunders a Welsh Centre plus Back Rowers Rob Taylor and Richard "Billy" Bilson. Playing up a steep slope the Vandals were quickly into their rhythm. The scrum was rock solid on our own ball while Phil Goldbourne dominated our own lineout ball. This gave good ball to stand in scrum half Ralph Rollins who linked well with the newly married Nev at Outside Half. With good ball the backs scored four first half tries with both Max Gimson and Nick Saunders getting a brace. Two of these were exceptional, the first being Nick's weaving run for 60 yards to score very Gerald Davies like. The second was great inter-passing again from our own half that saw most of the backs touch the ball with Max making the touch down. Ralph added two conversions and a penalty. In response when they had possession Redditch worked two good tries of which one was converted. Half time Redditch Vets 12 - 27 Vandals. I the second half the Vandals did appear to take their foot of the gas a bit. Despite lots of pressure they only managed one further score when Ralph worked a bit of magic to score in the corner. The forwards did up their game with Rob Taylor pinching lots of ball off Redditch at the front of the lineout and the pack driving Redditch back on their ball in the scrum. The Vandals did however keep Redditch pined back in their own 22 for much of the half helped by great tackling lead be The Barrel. However tackle of the match came from Tony Fitzgerald who snuffed out the one promising Redditch break with a Fitzy special. Next week the Vandals are at home and are celebrating Tony Fitz's 50th Birthday. Please come down and watch or even have a part in the game. Then in the evening there is Tony's 50th Birthday Party to which everyone is welcome.

Junior Rugby
Too cold, frosty pitch, risk of injury etc. so all mini/junior games were called off last Sunday.

Weekend Fixtures

Sat 21st Jan

First XV       v    Wolverhampton     away
Dev XV        v    Wolves                 home
Vandals         v    Wolves                 away

Sunday 22nd Jan

U7, U8, U9   v   Bourrnville   home
U11              v   Bournville    away
U16              v   Fiveways     away   Ash Lane (B48 7BD)

Memory Lane

Whilst having a quiet drink (not really possible with Dave Jenkins as company) and some form of pub grub at The Fieldhouse in Solihull last friday, she who spots special offers chose the venue, we came across a star player from the late 70s/early 80s who goes by the name of Bob Adams, a full back with incredible tackling skills for a bloke of 5 feet in height and 8 stone in weight. His SAS training has been on-going in the jungles of Earlswood and other strange areas. He remembers quite a few of his one-time team mates, but unlike others under similar pressure, Bob made no promise to return for a game as his boots fell into a canal, somehow.
On leaving the pub, we had a close shave for as we left by one door we saw John Kitchen enter through the other door.(only joking John)

NEW YEAR HANGOVERS STILL EVIDENT

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 20:37:17 GMT

Senior Rugby

New Year, Same old story. Arriving 5 minutes before kick off (a bad habit picked up from Chicken) meant parking on the grass which is not a good place to park. With 3 home games the large crowd was spoilt for choice. In my case watching a bit of each seemed the decent thing to do.

I began with a look at our First team playing a league match against local visitors Woodrush. Two early tries, the second by Adam Walker being particularly good filled me with hope as I departed to the top pitch to watch a sort of 3rd team take on Old Salts and while I was watching we seemed to be comfortably the better team. Also watching and keeping to Chicken's timekeeping was one of my old mates from the Referees' society, Mr Peter Morgan. Not in the best of health it is good to see Pete still very much involved in local rugby as an 'advisor'. I will offer the ref some hope for the future and that is that you will almost certainly improve considerably (think about it). Next was a stroll to the Development team also playing Woodrush. Individually, we have enough talent to beat most teams but the ever changing line up makes life a little more difficult. While I was watching the all-round skills of Ian walker were clear to see but not quite enough to bring us victory.

Final scores

First XV   lost 10-34
Dev XV   lost   14-26
Third XV lost    11-18

Under 16 Rugby

With the younger teams on a training date, the under 16s welcomed Tamworth and what a game we saw. The Ys were forced to defend for much of the game as a strong and well-drilled Tamworth pounded away at us. But our defence was determined and organised. Time and again the visitors were held up over or just short of the try line, which combined with some impressive clearance kicking kept us in the game. Not for the first time, our opportunism led to three good tries. The speed and awareness of Tre'rail scored the first try and, I think, Charlie and Alex got the others to earn us a hard-fought win by 15-12. A big thank you to our visitors and to referee Mr Sidwell.

Fixtures this weekend

Sat 15th Jan       First XV    v   Redditch (League) away
                          Dev XV    v Redditch                  home
                          Vandals      v   Redditch                  away

Sunday 16th Jan   U16         v Stratford on Avon      away (CV37 7DP)

Social Stuff

This time last year the weather forced the extended closure of the club and with that went financial problems. But this year, New Year's Eve saw the club firing on all cylinders as Tom Collins and his band got everybody dancing or bar diving so the rumour has it.

The Quiz to beat all quizzes made over £400 for the chosen charity, 'Soft Power Education' a British registered charity that provides access to education to rural communities in Uganda by the building, decorating and resourcing of new schools, with much of the work being done by British students who are required to raise £600 each towards the purchase of materials.

With 15 teams taking part and coming from as far away as Ireland, the battle was on. The lead changed hands many times and the final score saw 5 teams in equal 2nd position but the winners were the team led by the Thomas Aquinas wonder teacher, Clare Jordan and reinforced by Haydn Rees and his better half.
My thanks go to Luke and Sharon, Mike and Jackie on the bar and Shannon for his P.A.system skills.

She who knows all the answers (but still didn't win) enjoyed the evning and cannot imagine what happened to the three bottles of wine that were on the table in front of her.

And Finally

Who wrote the music to, 'here comes the bride' ? The first correct answer given to Graham Davies wins a pint.

Remember, Mr Wenger know best. What a story and Villa in the next round.

WILL THE NEW YEAR BRING A CHANGE IN OUR FORTUNES ?

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 20:05:47 GMT

Greetings for 2012 and let's hope that our first team can play to their full potential and string together some decent wins, starting with a home local Derby against Woodrush in this saturday's league match.

Other weekend fixtures

Saturday 7th Jan    Dev XV v Woodrush 2nds     home
                             Vandals    v Old Salts 3rds      home

Sunday 8th Jan     Under 16s v Tamworth          home

Quiz Evening

This Friday 6th Jan at the club starting at 7.30.
£3 per player, up to a maximum of 6 players per team.
Bar open throughout
Amazing prizes
Questions cover a range of subject areas.
Surprise yourselves, you might know more than you realise

SEASON'S GREETINGS

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:27:26 GMT

Results

First XV    v   Old Coventrians      Lost 20 - 27

Under 16    v   Alcester                 Won 33 - 12

With the appeal of christmas shopping too much to resist, the teams scheduled to play against our Dev. XV and our Vandals XV both cried off at fairly short notice. I sorted out my layers of clothing in order to watch our first team in their search for league points and to be honest the game could have been ours. We looked good enough for significant spells of the game to have come away with a win and again, our back rower turned stand-off was in good form with the boot. However, we leaked points due mainly to our poor first-up tackling allowing the Covs to get over the gain-line and score the tries that won them the game. We cannot blame the referee this week as he had a very good game.

As I woke up on sunday morning and saw the ground covered by frost, I thought no chance of a game but 2 hours later and the thaw was sufficient to play against our Warwickshire visitors, Alcester. It was not a good day to be a winger and cold fingers did not make handling the ball easy and if you don't believe me then ask Jordan or Tre'rail. We won the game eventually by scoring 5 tries to their 2 tries and that is very much a result of being alert and taking the half-chances that came our way. In ideal climatic conditions our front row of Tyrell, Josh and Sam were very strong in both scrum and loose play and it was good to see Josh score his first try of the season. (your Dad is proud of you!). Alcester ran us closer than the final score suggests and I would like to thank them for the game.

Forthcoming Games

Saturday 31st January        Two matches v Willenhall        'A' XV at home, 'B' XV away

Sunday 8th January           Uner 16    v    Tamworth     home

Sunday 22nd January        Under 7, 8, 9, v   Bournville home
                                           Under 11         v   Bournville away

Social Events at The Club

Boxing Day     Watch and/or take part in a social game of rugby. It might help you to burn off some of those additional calories that most of us seem to acquire.

New Year's Eve    See in the new year at the club with live music, buffet, etc. as The Collins Family arrange the night for your enjoyment, all for only £7.50 per person.

Friday 6th January   Dave's Quiz Evening from 7.30 . £3 per player,usual format, come along and surprise yourself how clever you are.

and finally

Wishing a relaxing retirement to Mr Haydn Rees, who over the years has coached many of the young rugby players at St. Thomas Aquinas School, including a good number of our present youth teams.

Who needs defenders when you are only playing the Villa. 2-1, you got away lightly. Remember, Mr Wenger knows best.

Was it the right option?

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 11:21:24 GMT

What a dilemma faced me last saturday afternoon. The former players club under the guidance or influence of the much travelled Robin Sadler were meeting for a Babycham or two in town at lunchtime and beyond. 'Two tries' Fagan, would still be standing at midnight but would Jan Ullah get to 3 o clock? The other choice for me would be to watch our first team in action at Kings Norton. I decided to take the back lanes to Hopwood which was another wrong option. Arriving 20 minutes after kick off I passed Mark Higgins leaving and I soon realised why. Our boys with plenty of potential but very little experience of first team rugby were struggling against opponents who were far from title prospects but still too good for us on the day. Furthermore, it was a very cold afternoon. So the question again, is, 'Did I take the right option?'

Results

First XV         v          Kings Norton           lost
Dev XV          v          Kings Norton           lost
Vandals           v          Shipston                   lost

Under 7s         v           Bromsgrove            drew
Under 8s         v           Bromsgrove            won one and lost one
Under 9s         v           Bromsgrove            won one and lost one
Under 11s       v           Harbury                  won one and lost one
Under 16s       v           Old Halesonians       lost

News from the Minis

Team: Ben; George; Alfie; Frankie; Adam; Harry

Our U7’s, 2 of whom has turned out for the U8’s the previous day, started well against a very well drilled Bromsgrove outfit. Bromsgrove had brought 22 U7’s so lent us 2 to make 8 a side and our lads played continuously for 90 minutes (against rolling Bromsgrove teams with fresh legs) in near freezing temperatures and were well ready for a hot dog at the end.

The boys did really well, the match ending 10-10 (we think). Ben, Frankie, Alfie and Adam all had spells as captain and marshalled the team superbly, particularly in defence making sure we kept some shape and cutting down the space that Bromsgrove had to play in. The most pleasing aspect was the support play, when the boys were tagged they nearly always had support in good positions and we scored a number of tries with the ball going through several pairs of hands. All of the boys had some great runs and most were able to get over the line.

Overall it was a very good display from an improving team against excellent opposition.

The under 8s had a heavy schedule this weekend with two matches. One against Old Edwardians that included a half time display match in front of the crowd gathered for the Old Edwardians top of the table tie against Telford and the second match as part of the normal fixture list against Bromgrove.

The background to the match against Old Edwardians was a cold December day. Seven players turned out for the match: Alex, Ellis, Lewis, Presley, Dan E, Dan G and Harry. Harry was drafted into the team at the last minute making his first appearance in the under 8s having just turned 5 during the week! The boys tackled with ferocity and repeatedly managed to run through the opposition's line. As a result they triumphed in both halves of the match and the display match. The team made sure that everyone scored a try during the match. They racked up a total of 17 tries during the two matches against the 8 from Old Edwardians. Presley and Alex bagged 5 while Dan G notched up 3. Dan E, Lewis, Ben and Harry all took one a piece. Dan G captained the side well. Well done to Lewis for scoring his first try and similar for Harry scoring his first try on his debut. Thanks to Old Edwardians for giving the boys a chance to play in front of a crowd.

The boys knew they were likely to be in for a challenging session against Bromsgrove when their opposition arrived over an hour early with two sides having sent half their squad to another fixture. We had slightly less manpower and had to borrow two players from our opponents to field a team of 8. The Old Yardleians players who turned out were Presley, Ellis, Lewis, Dan G, Dan E and Alex. Five of whom had tired legs from playing the previous day. Despite all of this and a slightly more physical match the boys played the best they had all season. In the first match they looked like they were going to run away with it and ended up winning 5 tries to 2. Alex scored twice and Ellis and Dan G also scored. Alex captained the side. The second match was a little more challenging in the first half, but the boys regained their composure in the second half. The final score was 7 tries to 4 to Bromsgrove. Alex again scored twice and Presley and Dan G also added a try a piece to their tallies. Ellis led the side for the second match.

This was the last fixture before the Christmas break. The boys have gone from strength to strength this season and I look forward to more in the new year. The boys have scored over 80 tries in their matches so far this season and tackled like demons. They have managed to defeat all except one of the opponents they have faced. Most pleasing of all they play as a team and thoroughly enjoy each match. Roll on 2012!

Old Yardleians U9’s vs Bromsgrove U9’s - 11^th December 2011

Match Report

In a week where Manchester United were knocked out of the Champions League and Leicester were dealt a blow by defeat to Clermont Auvergne in the Heineken Cup, could Old Yardleians U9’s make the trip to Finstall Road and cause Bromsgrove similar problems?

Arriving at Finstall Road with Bromsgrove in full swing is a daunting prospect for players and coaches alike, but we found ourselves changing under an oak tree and readying ourselves for the back to back matches that lay ahead.

Bromsgrove had sent 20 boys to an away game and kept 15 at home to play against our 10 boys from Old Y’s. Game 1 got underway with debutant Ethan Hart joining us for the first time and getting straight into the action. A really bright start saw Y’s take the lead through Oliver Lonie, followed by a second try in short succession, the boys heads were up and the confidence began to show. What Ethan lacks in time on the training ground, he made up for with enthusiasm, tackling like a seasoned pro, only to be upstaged in that department by Aiden Gaffey, tackler of the match without any doubt, yet again proving technique and commitment over size will get the job done.

Everyone wanted to get stuck in at this point in a physical contest, Archie and Aiden both requesting first receiver positions, Shane employing the shirt grab technique with great effect, and keeping out two certain tries literally by the fingertips.

Ball distribution was again good, as Sam and Dan both looked to spread the wall wide with both Josh’s and Ollie’s looking to take the ball forward(ish) in support. Bromsgrove did, as we expected wake up after the early Y’s onslaught but all too late and we finished up winners by 4 tries to 3, well done boys.

The victory had come at a cost though, we lost Ollie Lonie to a knee injury, Josh T was wrestling with a dodgy tummy, Archie took a knock to both head and toe, and the second game was fairly one sided with Bromsgrove running in too many to count!.

Sharon has persuaded her young son, Jack, to consider a career as a sport journalist and this is his first attempt.
On Sunday, the u11s old yards faced a tough task against a well set up Harbury side. On the day, old yards proved themselves a worthy winner against a good opposition. Two tries from Jack, with a try each for Hayden, Diego, Billy and Sebastian, yards ran out winners, 36-21. Well done to the team for the hard work you put in to earn the victory and to show that on our day we could give any team a run for their money.

The under 16s visited Old Halesonians and the truth is that you discover your strengths and weaknesses when you play teams with a successful playing record. With four of our first-choice forwards missing due to injury we had to reorganise positions at short notice.A competitive first half saw us claim three tries and two cons which meant there were only a couple of points in it. However, a big pitch meant tired legs and with us having a very sparse bench, the hosts were able to bring on over half a team of fresh players which took them clear of us on the scoreboard. When we return to full strength and can also call on a bench of replacements , we will see some more high quality rugby. Well done boys.

Fixtures for the coming weekend

Saturday 17th Dec

First XV          v     Old Coventrians       Home       (League)
Dev XV          v     Evesham                  Away
Vandals XV     v    Tamworth               Home

Sunday   18th Dec

Under 16s       v      Alcester      (at the Portway 11.00)

Social Events for your diaries

Sunday 18 th Dec   at the club Children's Christmas Party, not to be missed.
Saturday 31st Dec at the club New Year's Eve Party, live music, eat, drink and be merry all for £7.50
Friday 6th Jan at the club    General Knowledge Quiz at 7.30.

And Finally

She, who is far too busy doing everything, has no time for us this week (probably sulking because the Sky Blues are bottom of the Championship).

Robin Van Persie, Absolute Genius, and remember, Mr Wenger knows best!

Improving but still much to do!

Tue, 06 Dec 2011 14:20:41 GMT

Late fixture change

Saturday (today 10th Dec)
Kings Norton have cried off the 3rd team game.

Luckilly, Shipston on stour have agreed to play us at Tilehouse Lane

All other games still on and as per schedule.

Results from last weekend

First XV     v     Keresley    lost    16-22
Dev XV     v     Stourport   won   51-0
Vandals       v     Stourport   won   32-29

Under 11s   v     Worcester 6-6 on tries, but lost 42-40
Under 16s   v     Camp Hill   won     12-10

Fixtures this weekend

Saturday 10th Dec

First XV     v       Kings Norton   (League)   away
Dev XV     v       Kings Norton      home
Vandals v Kings Norton    away

Sunday    11tth Dec

Under7 v    Bromsgrove home 11.00
Under8    v    Bromsgrove home
Under 9 v    Bromsgrove    away
Under 11      v       Harbury       home
Under 16 v    Old Halesonians away

Senior Rugby

Just like the good old days! No names because we all make mistakes once in a while but on a cold December afternoon in frront of a small crowd (mind you I personally think that it's still better than shopping with she who likes to search for alleged bargains) we managed to turn victory into defeat. Against a Keresley side for whom their number 10 set up attacks frrom all areas of the pitch we soon found ourselves behind. However, with Steve Grainger on weekend leave and with the return of Ben Honey, we managed to get our noses in front by 16-15 with the clock running down. With a one point lead a chip and catch from inside your own 22m line that falls nicely into the hands of your opposite man is possibly not the best option. Never mind the only way is up but if Ben can maintain his impressive goalkicking, the rest of the team stop this habit of kicking without thinking and our 'first-up' tackles are less flimsey, we can still play our way out of trouble.

The Devs and Vandals embarked on a journey over to Stourport where the scores speak for themselves. New winger, Gary Robinson stood out as he offered that little extra in comparison to our regular wingers (according to Arkell).

Junior Rugby

Marcus and his troops travelled a little aprehensively to sixways to meet Worcester Under 11s. However, a game that featured 6 tries for each team ending in a draw left manager Mr Hope feeling very proud of his lads. Congratulations Marcus, claim your manager of the week prize of an Old Ys burger from chairman Graham Davies whilst they are still fresh. An up to date check with Billy Wizz, son of Sharon indicates that we drew 6-6 on tries but that worcester got one more conversion than us. Sounds familiar.

The Under 16s travelled all the way to Shirley Park to play Camp Hill who hve never been easy to defeat. Although we controlled much of the game, the final pass often went astray (cold hands?) and the game was decided at 2 tries each by the goal kickers. Our tries came from Charlie and Tre'rail and the winning conversion from wide out was kicked by Cameron. Thanks to NMRFU referee Mr Ian Jackson and to the hosts for their hospitality.
It was interesting to see Joshua the home side's winger, performing a lap of honour in only his speedos and opting for a wash with a bucket of water rather than the more traditional hot shower. Happy birthday to you and best wishes to your family.

Social News
Kids Christmas Party at the club on sunday 18th of December.

New Year's Eve Party at the club, with live music from Tom Collins and his Band. A top quality buffet (so Pete tells me) and tickets are only £7.50 each.

Quiz Night at the club Friday 6th January 7.30

From the past

Two stars from the 80s send their regards to those who might remember them.
From the Bloxham, Dixon era that dynamic prop Tony Mahon has been checking on the quality of the nursing staff at one of our local hospitals using Gall stones as his password. He is now back at home but is denied two of his favourite pastimes, lager and curry, at least for a while.
Whilst shopping with she who knows Touchwood only too well when who did I spy displaying his retail sales techniques but the former player with the best dummy ever seen (apart from Shannon) Brian Wood. Brian would very much like to buy any of his old team mates a drink, all you have to do is catch him at the club and remind him of how good a player he was!

A slightly better week

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 12:12:38 GMT

Fixtures for 3rd / 4th Dec

Saturday 3rd Dec      First XV   v     Keresley   at Home (League)
                                 Dev XV    v     Stourport   away
                                 Vandals     v     Stourport   away

Sunday 4th Dec       Under 7, 8 ,9    training
                                 Under 11   v Worcester away (WR3 82E)
                                 Under 16    v Camp Hill   away (B90 2EF)

Last weekend's senior results

First XV   v    Claverdon     won 24-5
Dev XV   v    Old Salts IIs drew 24-24
Vandals     v    Old Salts IIIs won 34-22

Match reports will hopefully follow when the captains get over the shock.

I made the regular journey to the club to watch, this week, the young stars of the Development team take on a Salts 2nd team which is never an easy challenge. In a pulsating match both teams were prepared to play an attacking style of rugby and the lead changed hands regularly. Both teams wasted easy chances by over-elaborating (in other words being too clever when basic rugby would have resulted in scores). A draw was about right on reflection and I would like to thank the referee but the saying about a good ref hardly being noticed didn't seem to apply at times.
It was good to see an old pupil of mine from the hotbed of rugby that was once known as The Arcchbishop Grimshaw School still playing for the Salts. Full back, winger, whatever, well done Adrian Butler. Also at the game was Mike Barnes, former youth development officer at the Salts, and the present day success of the club suggests a god job was done.

Minis and Juniors

The Under 16s played hosts to a very useful Spartans team and although we played some very good attacking rugby with tries coming from Cameron as well as Tre'rail with a length of the pitch run. The team that made the fewest errors claimed the win and that was not us. Next excuse was that our pack of forwards was full of backs as a result of 5 of our regulars being unavailable but well done to those of you who changed position at short notice.
It was good to see Jordan making a comeback and hope that he soon regains his match fitness.
A big thank you to 'Poacher turned gamekeeper' Kevin Grant for refereeing.
Thanks also to Paul from Spartans for enquiring about the welfare of Simon from our Vandals XV who suffered a serious injury in a game against Spartans a few weeks ago.

Thanks also to Adrian and Seb's mother and sister for their culinary skills in the kitchen. Any help from parents in the burger production process would be appreciated, just make yourself known to Sharon in the clubhouse.

Christmas

The Old Yards Childrens Christmas party is scheduled for Sunday 18th December. More details to follow.

Mark's Plea

'Guess who Mark bumped into outside the opticians?'   answer, 'Everybody'
Mark Baldwin would like some glasses.
Apparently, it is a plea for any half-pint or small glasses that you may have at home but never use. The club would be grateful for any donations.

And Finally

She who thinks that she is full of good ideas was reading an article about 'Mid-season breaks' when, for example, the weather becomes difficult. She thinks that rugby could do from such a break and her idea would be for it to last around 52 weeks. Darling, stick to suduko!

Mini and Junior teams, should we know the score?

Wed, 23 Nov 2011 11:20:55 GMT

Let's start at the begining or begin at the start

I always assumed that in a game such as rugby that the score meant everything and that grown men would go to almost any extreme (artificial blood capsules, taking a dive, etc) in order to accumulate more points than the opposition by the end of the match. Recently, my philosophy on this issue has been challenged and, I think that there has been food for thought.

I shall try to keep it simple. Whenever I ask the mini/junior team managers/coaches, parents etc for their match results, scores, and reports I tend to hear responses such as, 'We won but I lost count', 'We lost but played really well', 'I'm not sure who won but the boys really improved since the last game'. And so on. The question I ask is, 'for the youngsters just starting in the exciting world of rugby, what is the most crucial aspect of the sport, is it enjoyment from playing and improving, is it the social element, such as running around the club with orange squash and hot dogs flying everywhere or is winning the only thing that counts. The thinking behind my deep introduction coincides with the arrival of match reports from our younger teams with particular thanks to Tim for his observations.

Mini and Junior

On sunday our under 7, 8,9,and 11 teams travelled all the way to Kings Norton for a triangular fixture which also included Claverdon. Over to Tim.

Sunday saw the under 7s and under 8s sides take on Claverdon and Kings Norton in a round robin match at Kings Norton. The chilly morning and foggy day didn't put either side off their stride and both continued their successful starts to the season.

The under 7s beat Claverdon 7-5 and drew with Kings Norton 4-4. Ben captained the match against Claverdon and Alfie led the side against Kings Norton. The tries were spread around team as follows: Louis 2, Harley 2, Ben 3, Frankie 3 and George 2. Alex and Matthew played in their debut.

The under 8s lost to Claverdon 7-1 despite some of the best tackling I've seen them do all season. The first minute of the match saw them get a rapid turnover from Claverdon as a result of their inspired tackling, but it proved difficult to convert the turnovers into tries. Dan G scored the consolation try in the second half and Dan E captained the side. The team raised their offensive game in the second match and beat Kings Norton comfortably 4-2. Presley was passed the captaincy as he promised to run straight. He proved good to his word and as a result scored all 4 tries. An excellent performance from a player new to the side this season.

The under 9s are one step ahead as their report covers more than just last weekend's news so well done Richard. Here goes.
Old Yardleians U9's

The Squad this year includes: Shane Desnos, Oliver Dickson, Aiden Gaffey, Samuel Gilmour, Toby Good, Archie Harrodine, Daniel Hayes, Joshua Hull, Oliver Lonie, Joshua Tallis and Louis.

Moving up from tag to contact is a big step in a young players career, there is a lot to learn and the Old Yards under 9's are making giant leaps forward each week.

After less than a month of contact rugby we welcomed Old Edwardians for the opening game the season. Old Y's put up a fine first performance but were still a few steps behind Ed's who ended the game as comfortable winners. Some good tackling from Old Y's and some phases of play with the ball being recycled showed signs of good things to come.

After a lot of hard work in training we made the familiar trip over to Woodrush for 2 back to back games. What a difference a few more weeks of training can make, all the same faces but Y's looked like a different team. In the first game, Oliver Lonie, Oliver Dickson, Joshua Tallis, Joshua Hull & Toby Good all scored as Y's scored 9 tries with just 3 in response from Woodrush, our tackling making all the difference in keeping Woodrush from crossing the line, with Aiden Gaffey tackling well above his weight in a fine performance. The second game was much tighter with great rugby being played by both teams, and after a string of lineouts Woodrush pushed over the line to score the decisive try. Woodrush narrowly won 2 tries to 1. Our boys walked away with their heads held high after two great performances as well as a confidence boosting win.

Old Y's were then invited to join a mini tournament at Kings Norton in a triangular series with Claverdon. The home side started with a convincing win over Claverdon and followed that with an equally convicing win over Old Y's, but there were positive signs, Archie Harrodine linking up with Josh Tallis making good ground and Oliver Lonie scoring a fine break away try to register Y's on the scoreboard. Claverdon vs Old Yardleians was a much tighter encounter with Oliver Lonie again adding to his try count and Oliver Dickson sneaking in too. In possibly our most physical contest yet, we rucked well to win the put in to the scrum on several occassions and even started to move the ball down the line with Josh Hull and Samuel Gilmour distributing well from the line out.

We think that the under 11s played Kings Norton and came away with a win by 19-12 but hopefully more news will follow, and here it is straight from the pen of the Shark, Marcus the manager,

Brief summary!

After slight mix up with teams present, game eventually got underway Yards opened very strong played first 15min in K.N half pressure finalising in Sam scoring from a driving maul. Try converted.Yards had most possession but strong defence kept out attack.Scrum in second half saw Hayden (scrum half) pick up & side step 2 K.N defenders to score. Try converted.K.N came back & made a good break & long run to score. Try converted.Final play saw good hands & between forwards & backs with Seb scoring in corner. Try unconverted.Good hard tackling game

The Under16s had a training week and 20 boys took part, first teamers think about that! Spartans should prove to be a real test in this sunday's game.

Senior Rugby

The firstXV were well beaten in a league match at Evesham.
The Development XV with a number of late changes lost at Old Sils.
The Vandals XV beat an enthusiastic but somewhat inexperienced Harborne by 34-0

Fixtures

As things stand at present, Saturday 26th November

First XV    v    Claverdon      away/friendly
Dev XV    v    Claverdon      home
Vandals XV v Old Salts        away

Sunday 27th November

Under 16s   v   Spartans     (Portway 11.00)
U 7,8,9,11     training at Old Yards

News

A very important diary date, Dave's Quiz at the club on Friday 6 th of January, the usual format.

Return of the brothers Allen. With sentences completed we look forward to the return of Nick to action. Not sure what Greg is planning but he was seen flirting with the Edwardians, something to do with nice blazers we have been told. My advice mate is to use your common sense.

And finally

She who was brought up in Keresley when asked about her thoughts on next saturdays league clash informed me that her memory of my days playing for them was the day I dislocated my elbow when playing at Broad Street and I was driven at top speed to the Cov & Warwick in the back of a builder's van. Who needed ambulances or helicopters.

Looking at the European Champions group tables, it would appear that Arsenal are in a fairly good position unlike certain other home teams who have spent rather a lot of dosh on their squads. Also, I just wonder what the market value of RVP is at the moment. Oh well, Mr Wenger knows best.

Are the Yards as gloomy as the autumn weather?

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 13:59:15 GMT

Is there a connection? Just as the weather becomes miserable so does the rugby on a saturday afternoon also become dark, dreary and unpredictable? On arrival at the club on saturday, I was unsure if the half empty (or half full) car park was due to the quality of our First Team performances or due to our Development team being let down late in the day by their Black Country opponents. To be honest, it was due to both of these suggestions. Individually, the skills are in place but our unit skills and tactical awareness are not really visible and that can only be put right on the training pitch.

Senior rugby

First XV were well beaten by league leaders Earlsdon.
Dev XV are still waiting for their opponents to arrive.
Vandals XV visited Dudley and won, by 21 - 7 but since Martyn resigned as skipper, our match reports have gone from one extreme to the other.

Junior Rugby

Under 16s   played at home to Kings Norton, yet another team that never gives in and credit to their boys as well as Chris their coach. Pressure told and we won a lot of ball and tries eventually came and our victory, in the end, was convincing. A special mention to our front row star, Josh, who played his first game since breaking his leg earlier in the season and it looked like he had never been away
The other teams had training.

Fixtures

Saturday at 2.15      First XV   v    Evesham   (away) League
                               Dev XV   v    Silhillians
                               Vandals XV v Harborne (home)

Sunday   at 10.15    Under 7, 8 , 9, 11   are all playing a triangular at Kings Norton with the third side taking part being Claverdon.
We are waiting to hear from possible opponents for the under 16s and if there is no game for them, training will be at Old Ys not the Portway as previously stated.

Well Done
to Debs and her team for the successful bonfire party.
Also to Dave Hanson (once known as Chicken) for refereeing his first game last sunday in our under 16 v Kings Norton. Dave managed quite well in his switch of communication medium from voice to whistle. With Sid doing the previous week that just leaves Pete, the Fridge, Butler to get his second career started. Remeber Pete, just like other skills you might have once possessed, 'use it or lose it'.

From the past

On my recent fact-finding mission to another local club I spotted a couple of ex-Yards players. Unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to chat to Steve, now a proud Grandad, Rabone, but did chat to one of our best ever forwards, Will Hart, who might come and offer his vast experience to the club, especially as Kevin Grant is now part of our coaching / management team on a sunday morning.

Also seen at the Old Ys last week was that punchbag of a scrum-half Jan Ullah. It could be coincidence but his local, The George, has recently shut down!

And Finally

Having recently visited Leeds for my youngest child's birthday, She, for whom time is endless, decided that shopping was essential. One and a half hours later as they emerged from the same shoe shop, during which time I had sat outside reading a newspaper from front to back and top to bottom a debate began regarding time. Well, would you believe it, an average game of rugby lasts for about 90 minutes and which is more valuable a visit to a quality shoe shop or a silly game of rugby. Well, what do you think? answers on a shoe box.

Three generations of Painters

Thu, 10 Nov 2011 20:35:21 GMT

More details in a while.

Minis and Juniors

We should probably start with the success stories frrom last sunday. Playing against Woodrush is never easy which tells us that we must be performing well to get the success that we did.

The Under7 & 8 teams played for 3 periods in their match and came through successfully by a try count of 15-12 and the word is that Harley Painter scored 2 tries, which would be a 5 year haul for either his dad, Phil or grandad Steve (Dip F.D.). News from family historian Mrs Lyn Painter, yes, the Painters do partly originate from County Down in Ireland but Phil says it might need clarification!

The Under 9 boys played 2 sessions, winning the first 9-3 but slipping up in the second by 1-2. Overall that comes to 10-5 to us.

The under 11s with their speed men playing won convincingly but the final tally varies from our managers, but it was described as an impressive performance.

The Under16s playing at home produced a strong all-round display against a well organised and 'never say die' Woodrush side. The fact that our opponents were a good side reflects on how well we played in all aspects of play. A hat-trick of tries from Tre'rail showed what genuine pace can do. Tre'rail, you can collect your can of Diet Coke from the Chairman on sunday! It was good to see Alister playing again after his arm injury. A special thanks to North Mids Referee, Mr Steve Sidwell. A big thanks also to Woodrush who were much better than the scoreline of 53-12 suggests.

Seniors

In a non-league weekend our teams were mixed into the pool but in terms of success came away empty-handed. The Development XV were well beaten at Wolverhampton by 0 - 42. The 'A' team lost at Harborne by 10-19 andd the Vandals slipped up in a niggly game against Walsall by 8-32.

Fixtures this weekend

Saturday 12th Nov. First XV   v     Earlsdon (league) Home
                                Dev XV   v    Dudley K       Home
                                Vandals XV v Dudley K      Away

Sunday   13th Nov    Under 16    v     Kings Norton Home
                                 Under 7,8,9,11 training

And Finally

It was good to be honoured by the visit to our club of Mr Richard Beckett, Chairman of Lancs/Cheshire Club, Old Parkonians and his wife Paula. On a fact finding mission to see how a successful club operates, he somehow dropped into the Old Yards. She who enjoys a weekend of rugby talk was more than happy to act as chef, taxi and Ladypool Road tour manager.

O.K. it was only West Brom but a win is a win or as Mr Wenger might say, 'C'est la Vie'

REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE 5th OF NOVEMBER

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 10:41:21 GMT

Debs invites you to join her
This saturday Debs would like you to join her at the club to celebrate Guy Fawkes night in the traditional manner with pyrotechnics followed by drinks and hot dogs etc.and a good deal of social interaction. It is recommended that you arrive by 6pm.

Senior Rugby

Results are still disappointing but who knows what the wet and heavy muddy pitches might bring. Winter is on the way!
Last saturday saw     First XV v Pinley   lost   7 - 26
                                 Dev XV v Veseyans   lost   18 - 42
                                 Vandals    v   Handsworth   won   38 - 22

This saturday sees some interesting fixtures, with kick offs now at 2.30

                                  First XV     T B A
                                  Dev XV     v   Wolverhampton   (away)
                                   'A' XV        v    Harborne (away)
                                  Vandals        v   Walsall (home)

Junior Rugby

Last weekend was set aside for training so let's hope it proved to be of value as this sunday our youngsters take on local rivals Woodrush. The under7, under 8, under 9 and under 11 teams all play away witth the under 16s playing at home.

And Finally

She who has finished her interior decorating (a bit of painting) arranged a small gathering of her former work colleagues with their partners to attend (compulsory). Anyway, I was in conversation with Stuart and Rachel from the depths of Shropshire who told me that their daughter had played rugby for Cleobury Mortimor Ladies and that their coach was a very nice chap by the name of Hilton Smith. My memory of Hilton was a smooth talking, highly fashionable bloke who taught us many valuable things whilst in the very trendy Robin Hood. Hilton, I don't know if they are as smooth as you down in your part of the world but who would ever forget the white shoes, the tight red trousers, white shirt/blouse unbuttoned to the navel and gold ingot. What style!

For those of you that ever had doubts, Mr Wenger knows best. Chelsea at the Bridge, no problem. Just the three goals for RVP. Not bad I would say.

TURKEY, TOUR KEY, or TORQUAY ???

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:01:56 GMT

Arkell's 'Club Tour Easter 2012

A little bit of clarification for the boys in the front row.

Peter, the Turkey you were thinking about (apart from your Christmas dinner) with very hot climate and where a lot of the blokes allegedly wear Tommy Cooper hats known as 'Fez'. That ain't where Arkell's tour is going.

Pickle, man of many romances in the rural world of Meriden, the 'tour key' that lets you in and out of your hotel room is nothing to do with Arkell's Easter cultural and sporting excursion.

The Torquay that is the venue for the Old Yardleians 2012 Easter Tour is the one in Devon on the 'English Riviera'.

So lads make a note of the details (see Alan Arkell to reserve your place) and in the meantime don't plan anything as wild as a wedding or pregnancy that would clash with the date of the tour.

DEB'S BONFIRE PARTY

Think of a 'Guy'. Not Guy Smith , not even Guy Shears, but the one in mind is Guy Fawkes and as tradition demands the club is celebrating Guy Fawkes night on saturday 5th of november with a bonfire, fireworks and all the usual Old Ys activity such as eating, drinking and social intercourse. Debbie wants you there so be there.

MINIS AND JUNIORS

The young stars of the future were performing last sunday. The under 7/8 went to Bournville and Chris, our manager. was pleased with the boys. The age groups were mixed and played two games, winning one and losing the other.

The under 11s played hosts to a well-organised Bournville side and with our two speedy try scorers both on holiday we lacked the finishing power even though we enjoyed plenty of possession and the visitors took their chances very well indeed. A special mention to the mother (I won't name her at this stage) of a new player to the club who left home at 8.00 a.m.to make sure that she found us in good time. Make yourself known to our mini/juniors chairman, Graham, and he will treat you to a cup of tea.

SENIORS

The first XV played their second home league match of the season against a Southam team that we would usually expect to have a close game with. However, with a back division with defensively more holes in it than a tea bag and with woeful kicking from the hand, we got what we deserved, a stuffing. The only real plus was the return of the inspirational Steve Grainger to our back row from where he scored our only try. I hope that their player who held up Luke and so prevented a try has recovered. His imprint can still be seen in the ground under the posts.

The Development XV with the help of a couple of 'oldies' entertained Harborne and showed their class in winning by 50-7. Shannon jnr. and snr. both starred and it was good to see Matthew aka Crouchy making a comeback.

FIXTURES THIS WEEKEND

Saturday            First XV        v     Pinley (away)   League
                          Dev XV       v     Veseyans (home)
                          Vandals         v     Handsworth (away)

Sunday Training at Old Yards for under 7/8, 9 , 11 (day off for under16s)

AND FINALLY

She who is painting the bathroom ceiling is too busy to report to us. She says that she bets nobody ever interupted Michaelangelo when he was busy with his brushes.

The recovery has started. Mr Wenger, we never doubted you. And didn't it hurt to watch Man U get stuffed, oh the pain!

THE FUTURE LOOKS BRIGHT

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 13:45:40 GMT

She who has a brother (Hi there Mick !) living in The Emerald Isle decided that it was time to pay a visit so a flight was booked from Birmingham to a place built into the clouds of Western Ireland that goes by the name of Knock Airport. Galway City is a fine place where you are made very welcome. Cloonfad, somewhere in Roscommon is much different. A village of one shop and two pubs in a remote area means that the pub is the hub of social activity. Dougal, the young barman with a good mop of red hair, did his best. When asked if they had music on offer (i.e. live band,) he scratched his head and after considerable thought offered to put the radio on. Nice thought Dougal, that should bring in the crowds.

Early on the sunday afternoon I thought that I would see how the youngsters got on in their matches against the Eds. So, I sent a text to a Lady who I won't name, but it rhymes with Karen or Baron, enquiring as to how things went, (in other words what the scores were). However, her text reply informed me that there were a lot of tries and the Barbecue was a success. Ah well, that's the important thing.

MINS AND JUNIORS

Eventually, I discovered the results that I was looking for. The Eds are never easy to win against with local bragging rights up for grabs.
Nobody was certain but the concensus was that we won at under 7 and 8 levels but lost at under 9s. Our under 11s with new coach, Rob, proving an inspiration used their speedy runners to give a slightly inaccurate slant to the way the game went but if you have got it then use it (so they say). In yet another competitive and close game our under 16s just about deserved their 17-10 win. Well done to all our young stars of the future.

DEBBIE'S BONFIRE EXTRAVAGNZA

Not to be missed, come and see the spectacular show of fireworks (no, not our first team!) on Saturday 5th November. Refreshments will be available for purchase. Further details are available from Debs or Bobo.

SENIORS

Information received so far is that our first XV lost to Wolverhampton but that the Vandals XV defeated their thirds. I will add further news as it arrives.
Our best wishes go to Simon from the Vandals who received a serious leg injury the previous week in the Vandals win against Spartans.

THIS WEEKEND'S GAMES

Saturday      First XV     v   Southam (League) at Home 3.00
                    Development XV    T.B.A.
                    Vaandals    v    Harborne at Home     3.00

Sunday         Under 7 and Under 8   v   Bournville (away) 11.00
                     Under 11                      v   Bournville (home) 11.00

STUNNING PERFORMANCE BY THE DEVELOPMENT TEAM

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 22:20:53 GMT

SENIOR RUGBY

As seems to be the fashion, we'll pretend that first XV mishaps are removed from history.
However, the boys in the dev.team faced a strong and experienced Spartans second XV, the sort of fixture that tends to fill you with apprehension. My mathematics indicate that if you removed Chicken, Goose, (sounds like old McDonald's farm) and Steve Cunningham from the squad, then the average age of those remaining would be around the 19 mark. Well, we watched with fascination as our lightweights and our heavyweights tackled effectively, controlled the breakdowns, attacked with speed and supported impressively.
Tries came from Nathan, Shannon jnr. Chicken, Luke H. and Ben x2 and he also kicked some conversions. Lads, well done to all of you.

JUNIOR RUGBY

Starting with the under16s, it was good to see Jake making his comeback, but get into the back-row asap, it's where you are at your best. Anyway, on a hard pitch ( I blame the weather not Brian ) we entertained a solid Five Ways team and it was great to watch a game that was neck and neck for the entire game. Half -time was reached with no score, not due to lack of attacking ability but as a result of strong defending by both sides. The visitors won in the end by two points with both teams scoring one try each but one conversion made the difference. A big thank-you to Mr T. Power who excelled yet again as referee. Jack, your dad, George, is correct, you can play as full-back, some superb catches from up and unders.

Our apologies to the under7, 8, and 9s. Your opponents cancelled the games because, they had too many players. That's a new one!

FIXTURES THIS WEEKEND

First XV      v    Wolverhampton Cup   Home
Dev XV      v    Willenhall                     Away
Vandals       v     Willenhall                     Home

Under 7,8,9,11   v   Edwardians           Home
Under16             v   Edwardiaans         Away

WHAT DO YOU THINK ?
It won't be England or Ireland ( She who wears her green shirt was stunned into silence) so with Dan Carter out, I had a dream (about rugby) that the two finalists were Australia and Wales and next week I'll tell you who will win it.

Winning ways rediscovered

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 16:18:44 GMT

After a disappointing start to their season in Midlands 3 west which saw two away defeats, the Yards opened their home programme with a hard fought victory against a gritty Redditch side.

On a very hot afternoon the Yards scored the first points of the game when powerful winger Andrew Pearce cut in off his wing at speed to break all the attempted tackles on his way to scoring under the posts. Adam Walker converted to open up a seven point lead.

The Yards had selected a pack of forwards that contained a blend of physical strength and youthful mobility and as a result dominated possession both in open play and set pieces. From some scrappy possession the visitors caught the Ys by surprise with a smart counter attack for a try to bring the scores level As half time approached both teams scored penalties with all to play for in the second half.

The home side continued to control the game and kicked two more penalties through Walker However, Redditch were not giving up and scored another converted try to take them into a one point lead. The Ys kept their patience and gradually turned the screw with Pearce claiming his second try with an unstoppable run and finally prop forward Peter Butler sprinted over from at least five meters and with Walker converting , the final whistle went to give the Yards a well-deserved victory by 28 points to 17. Next Saturday see another away game, this time at Shipston.

Thanks to all who contributed to this report!

Vandals

In brief, the Vandals and Co. faced one of the stronger sides on the circuit. Having performed their own version of the Haka, i.e. The Hokey-Cokey the visitors looked impressive but were no match for a determined Vandals side. Tries were scored by Shannon junior, Kevin, Chairman Sean x2 and Max who also kicked some points to bring victory by 36-0. Thank you to International Panel referee, Mr D. Collingwood for stepping in at short notice.

Under16s

The learning process continues. If the opposition only have 13 players and you agree to match their numbers by not having flankers, you will be exposed by a speedy set of midfield backs who are smart enough to realise where the empty channels are. Never mind, we played some very good rugby with Tre'rail and Adrian looking particularly sharp.

Social

What a quiz! The Painters were looking for victory, Rob and Andy were up for it but the winners were my old mates from the seat of learning in Erdington, St Edmund Campion School. Dave (Spartans RFC), Mary, John Mac, Pat Groark and the Burgesses. Well Done. She who knows most things didn't know quite enough but I guess you can't win 'em all.

A special thanks to prize donors including The Westley Hotel, W.H. Painters, Simon Brown, Two tries Fagan, Rick Thorne, Steve and Lyn Painter, The Rochfords, The Killarneys and Sharon F.
Well done to quiz man Luke, and marker Sharon and thanks to Team Hughes for running the bar and to Shannon for setting up the PA system.

Attitude, Loyalty, Determination, Commitment.

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 15:11:12 GMT

Select any of the above words and consider their importance in becoming a successful rugby team. Weddings on match days, lovers in Wales, wives having babies during the rugby season, holidays abroad etc. Not a good start boys and you could even say it is a little embarassing so lets stop messing about. We have the talent so lets make use of it.

Now on the Mini and Junior front things are looking good with numbers increasing. Not only of players but of coaches and helpers getting involved, even young Cederic. Most of our youngsters play their first game next week (Oct 9th) but the under 16s played a warm up game against the Birmingham Exiles and showed a lot of skill and determination, winning against a very decent side by 30 points.

The Quiz

Fridge tells me he has been collecting information but more likely, in my opinion, he thinks that there will be a buffet. This friday 7.30 at the club, teams of up to 6 (more than 6 you divide into two teams). Dave's quiz is not to be missed, open to non-members as well as our regulars. Profits shared between charity and mini/junior sections of our club. Super prizes and you don't need to be highly intelligent, as you may recall Steve Painter and team won a previous quiz.

Referees

Well done on gaining your refs badges to Shannon, Sid, Fridge and Chicken. Staggering when you think about it!

Stars from the past take a day out

Ex coach Rick had an idea. Why not take a day trip to watch a premiership match? So, the purchase of 8 tickets at over £30 each to watch Leicester 2nd team (first team nearly all in world cup) get torn apart by South Africa (aka Saracens) was in motion. She who thinks anything less than the Millenium Stadium as being unsuitable for her to appear at had set up a girls night out so I guess that means another place will have run out of 'Pinot Grigio'.
Anyway, the full set of 8 got to New Street in time to catch the 11.22 to Leicester. As the nominated sober one, it was interesting to watch the boys in action. Too old to chase women the activity cards were designed to drink without moderation, eat any crap that could be bought and inform the rugby followers what was going wrong.
Staying at the stadium to replace fluids lost through snoring or dribbling, yours truly spotted a door that had been left unlocked and surprise it led onto the pitch. One of our senior ex-stars ws busy telling us how he had played there already as well as at the Stoop, Bath Rec and probably the stadium on the Moon (only joking Rob). Brownie, two-try Fagan and Bob Anderson thought the playing surface was the best they had ever trodden on but me, I know that Brian Collingwood produces the ultimate carpet of grass. Just in case you thought I had forgotten him, our ex-hooker with a welsh heritage attempted his bit of one upmanship by giving £1 to a young lad (should I continue?) to borrow his rugby ball in order to kick a conversion in front of the posts. Now you know mate it ain't so easy is it! Steve (Dip. F. D.) said he never kicked the ball anyway. Maybe not the ball but most of your team mates as far as I recall.
Rick, excellent day, well done. Even the Gunners won and bring on the Spurs next and we'll do the same to them.

Firsts start season with win in Shropshire

Tue, 06 Sep 2011 12:17:41 GMT

Finally the season kicked off on Saturday as the Old Yards first xv travelled to newly promoted Cleobury Mortimer for a North Midlands Shield match. The selectors made the tricky decision to leave out of the starting line long established stalwarts Steve Grainger, Ben Honey, Pete Butler and Phil Painter and although their strength and experience were certain to be missed it was considered the right time to blood younger players. Mike Brennan and Chris Rhodes won a lot of good lineout ball and Luke Harris ensured that the scrummage ball was secured. As would be expected the home team fresh from winning promotion played with great desire in front of a large crowd and probably edged the first half. However, the Yards made 3 changes at half time including player-coach Gary Robinson, who as an impact player is well worth his weight in gold. Superior fitness combined with speed and mobility ensured that the visitors would come out on top. Tries for Andrew Pearce and Adam Walker with 2 conversions and a penalty from Max Gimson were enough to give the Yards victory by 19 points to 11.

The Ys Vandals xv played at home against Tamworth. Full match report below. Last season’s success story continued as Lee Coates with 3 tries led the way to a win by 43 points to 5. The return to the club of Tony O’Keefe from Doncaster and John Kitchen from West Midlands Police will make the competition for places even fiercer, starting with this Saturday which sees the First XV begin their league programme at Old Leamingtonians, the Development XV entertain Aldridge Firsts and the Vandals are also at home against Yardley and District.

On Sunday 18th of this month the club are inviting any interested youngsters from age 6 upwards to an open day at the Tilehouse Lane club starting at 10.30. Newcomers to the game as well as more experienced players are welcome to come along and to have a go at some basic skills or even just to have a look at what goes on, and remember we are only 4 years away from the next world cup!

Social stuff

Not everone likes Welsh front row players but personally I think Mark Baldwin is a good bloke and when he invited me (and she who knows how to leave the club dry of wine) to his 50th birthday bash I felt privileged (o.k. I had nothing else to do). The bar take must have been massive and it's a shame that we didn't have the vision to put on breakfasts. One or two mentions, Junior, you are a better scrum-half than you are a dancer and what a thorough job was done by Peter (the Fridge) Butler of 'Buffet demolition services'. Thanks Mark, the Peter Pan of props.

Old Yards Quiz Evening

Friday 30th September, at the club, 7.30 start, teams of up to 6 players, cheating not allowed, £2 per player, super prizes, bar open etc, previous winners 'The Erdington Educationists' (a contradiction in terms I would suggest). Open to members, players and friends of the Old Ys.

Friends of the club

It was good to see Pembo at the game last saturday. Nice suit mate, Blox said he thought it was your Demob special
What a great bloke Bill Burrows is. Why don't you get mentioned too often? simple reason Bill, you are a prop! But we do think you are a good lad and You can impress us all at the quiz.

Vandals v. Tamworth - 3rd September 2011

Very much as case of business as usual on a cool Autumnal Saturday with the Vandals' first game of the season against our old friends Tamworth who must be quite frankly, sick to death of seeing us, this being the eight meeting in 2.1 seasons. The Vandals this season under new ownership in the form of Steve "Sid" Sidwell took the field though under the captaincy of Mark "Gethin" Baldwin who on the 31st August notched up his 18,250th day on this mortal coil (and no I can't be ar5ed to factor in leap years).

Anyway with the digital voice recorder consigned to the kitchen drawer, it'll be just scores on the door from now on....so the Major's never gonna get a f**king mention!!

Starting line up then Shannon "Steps" killarney, Steve "Sid" Sidwell & Mark "Gethin" Baldwin, Andy "trained all Summer" Killarney & Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn in the engine room, with a back row of Marcus "Shark" Hope, Nick "the Assassin" Levey on the flanks and Roger "the Dodger" Lazenby at No.8.

Halfbacks Phil "the General" Evans at scrum half and Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, with Nick "Barrel" Palmer partnering Lee "Coatsey" Coates in the midfield, with Egg Male on one wing and rugby debutant Alex Mears on the other with Dave "Ralph" Rollins directing traffic at the back.

Large bench in Rick "Swing" Lowe, Chris "Golf ball" Rowe, John "Casper" Lonie, Peter "Fridge" Butler, Nigel "Boothy" Booth, Kevin "Bolt" Coles, Mike "Nearly" Neary, "Tattooed" Tim Russell and Bob's mate Cedric Farrell, plus two former Old Yards in Tony O'Keefe & John Kitchen

We opened the score with, yes a penalty despatched cleanly by Dave "Ralph" Rollins 3-0, before Coatesy opened his season's account with a try close to the sticks, making Ralph's job that much easier for a 10-0 lead. Shortly after Coatesy doubles his account, again giving Ralph the easiest of conversions 17-0. At which point Sid swaps with Rick, and after about twenty minutes in Shannon and Alex make way for Fridge & Boothy.

Just before half time Coatesy's monopoly is finally broken when he puts Egg in for one close to the posts after doing most of the hard work and Ralph goes three for three and a lead of 24-0 at which point Coatesy comes off muttering something about competition and Kevin "Bolt" Coles comes on to partner Barrel in the centre. The younger than usual Tamworth side begin to chat destructively amongst themselves.

Halftime 24-0 Mike comes on for Ralph, as does Cedric for Egg.

Boothy rolling back the years opens our second half account going over in the corner increasing our lead to 29-0 but it's a little too wide out for Nev. Casper comes on for Andy K.

Nick "the Assassin" Levey goes over next under the posts following a neat sleight of hand Roger the Dodger, Nev makes no mistake this time 36-0 Coatesy swaps with Nick and goes onto the flank, Barrel comes off, Boothy moves into centre with Bolt and John K comes onto the wing. Rog makes way for Tony, as does Gethin for Tim.

Tamworth's plucky youngsters finally & deservedly get on the score sheet with a drive over try wide out right, much to their delight 36-5

Coatesy rounds off his hat trick late on which Nev converts 43-5 and Slow comes on for the last two minutes, and immediately the General tees Slow up with a flat pass, he bulldozes through two and promptly falls over, forward rolls and is pinged for holding on...game over 43-5

This notched up the Vandals' 38th win on the trot, we know it ain't gonna last forever but it's some achievement for any side.

No idea of final age sorry, will work it out shortly.

Slow

THE SEASON BEGINS FOR OUR MINIS AND JUNIORS

Wed, 31 Aug 2011 21:33:55 GMT

This sunday (4th September) marks the start of the rugby season for our youngsters. We would like to see you all arrive by 10.00 a.m. in order to set the tone for the season. Please bring kit suitable for training and don't forget a gumshield or you might lose those good looks! As you move up through the age levels the laws of the game change so be ready to learn.

The registration process takes place after training so allow yourself time, make sure you know your postcode etc. If you know that you will be unable to come along on sunday then please contact your coach/manager so that they know your intentions. If you have any friends who might like to give rugby a go then bring them along to training before the matches begin.

While the action is happening, refreshments will be available from the bar and/or kitchen. You will be able to chat to old friends but do not mention last sunday's football results. A plea to parents etc. we need help with a number of small tasks such as serving behind the bar, cooking the post-match food, setting up pitch flags and post protectors and bringing them in after the game, looking after the water container bottles and so on. Even if you volunteered for just an hour every now and again it would be doing the club and your child a big favour.

Senior teams

Last saturday a mixture of our First, Development and Vandals team players took part in a trial game against a youthful but plucky Harborne side. The visitors, fresh from promotion last season, played with a lot of enthusiasm (and warmed up in similar mode) and displayed an expansive style of game. However, the experience and physical power of the Yards team was a little too much for the visittors as the home side gained a reasonably satisfying win by 30-14. The many handling errors form the Ys need to be eliminated or wins will turn into defeats as we have previously discovered to our cost. Harborne, keep up the flowing rugby and consider a high-protein diet for your pack.

Fixtures for this saturday (3rd Sept)

At the moment the games are kicking off at 3pm as follows
First XV v Cleobury Mortimer (away in the cup)
Vandals XV v Tamworth (home)

And a message from she who knows most things

Doesn't time fly. Its amazing how quickly the new season comes around.
Cleobury is a really nice place to visit and she has a friend called Rachel who lives there. (How really interesting)
To show her knowledge of sport, she suggests that you take her advice and put a few quid on Coventry getting promoted. (keep dreaming darling!)

Quiz evening

At the club on friday 30th September from 7.30. Details to follow soon but organise your teams, max of 6 per team. General knowledge and the questions are easy, its just the answers that are tricky.

WOLVES WIN 15 A SIDE COMPETITION

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 12:13:46 GMT

The rugby season got under way with the annual Moss Goode 15 a side Tournament held at Tilehouse Lane.

A good deal of toil, glimpses of skill and a competitive spirit are what was seen and what was expected.

This popular event enables the club coaches to assess the progress made by their players in pre-season training with time remaining for fine tuning if and where required.

In the opening game Wolverhampton defeated the home club by the only try of the match and remained unbeaten on their way to the final where they met and overcame Droitwich by a score of 15 – 5 and in doing so received the Moss Goode trophy.
The plate competition was won by visitors from Leicestershire, Ashby.

Yards skipper Anthony Thompson suggests that he didn’t want his side to peak too early with league matches still a couple of weeks away but he is determined to produce an improvement in this Saturday’s friendly at home to newly promoted Harborne, kick off 3.00.

ANNUAL MOSS GOODE 15 A SIDE

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 12:53:21 GMT

She of celtic origin had decided that we would visit the Millenium Stadium for a combined wine tasting and rugby weekend. Lucky really that we went with the burial man as he was on hand to witness the imminent death of English rugby. With considerable possession and visits to the welsh 5 metre line, you might have expected a try or two but nothing happened and the southern hemisphere sides have every right to smile, just as the wine bar owners of Cardiff do when She who gets loud and her friend in vino get going. It was good to see Lee, our utility forward / soldier in the stadium and also, sat right in front of us, Ann-Marie.

This meant that I missed the other big rugby event of the day the 'Moss Goode Annual 15 a side' that was taking part at the Old Ys on the same day. In an attempt to see how things went I phoned Mark Baldwin on saturday evening but got the same alcohol driven reply that Wales had won. I knew that Mark because I was actually there. Never mind!

Anyway, in order to get some sense, I contacted Shannon,who made a massive contribution to the day by putting together 360 ham and cheese baps. I thought it kind not to come out with sayings such as 'an army goes to battle on its stomach' or something along those lines.

Now for the rugby. Congratulations to tournament winners, Wolverhampton, who not only beat the Yards in their opening game by the only try of the match, but who also beat Tamworth and Sils on the way to the final where they met and defeated Droitwich.

The plate honours went to Ashby via a system that makes 'the Duckworth Lewis' look simple. But well done Ashby who turned up with 30 players, which was 30 more than Kidderminster managed on the day!

What about the Ys? Well, a mainly young squad including a number of lads from the Development side represented the club on the day. We lost against wolves, beat Tamworth and lost in the semis against Droitwich.

How do we judge the success of the day as a whole? Our club president, himself a businessman of note, has the view that you judge the level of success by the takings over the bar. In that case the day was a success and the club is grateful to all of those who made a contribution in one way or another.

Thanks to the North Mids referees, Tony, Rob, Jim and Craig, to the visiting teams and their supporters, to Moss Goode's sister, Jane for sponsoring the day and to Martyn and Mark for organising the day. For Phil Painter for producing/printing the programmes which were brilliant and for Super Dave for publicity both in the local press and on this website. More thanks to the 'Jamie Oliver lookalikes' on the BBQ,i.e. Sid, Tom and Pricey. To Pat for the raffle and many other bits and to the family, friends and neighbours for their help. Steve C. cheers mate for setting up the flags and post protectors and then working behind the bar for most of the day. More thank you's, this time to Brian for producing high quality pitches and to Robbie for providing high quality beer, to Mike and Jackie particularly for their shopping expeditions, and to Jan and Bill for car parking, and to Kim and young Jack for helping everywhere. Shannon and the club would like to thank all of you and apologises if he has missed you off the list.

It was good to see visitors from across the planet including Blox from Erdington, Houghy from Sheldon, Bert from Malvern and Tex and Maggie all the way from Hall Green.

Congratilations to Jackie Jenkins (wife of highly rated former hooker, Dave) on her birthday today.

Finally, don't be fooled, the Frenchman knows what he is doing. It just doesn't always look that way.

The Moss Goode Old Yardleians Annual 15 a side competition.

Fri, 29 Jul 2011 15:44:21 GMT

The nights are drawing in, the leaves are falling off the trees, Fabregas is after a pay rise and caravans clog up the roads and motorways. Yes, it is that time of the year when we see club rugby kicking off with 'The Moss Goode Old Yardleians annual 15 a side competition'.

The date is Saturday August 13th, the venue is Tilehouse Lane and the rugby kicks off at 12.30.

For those of you without the knowledge Maurice (Moss) Goode was a very average rugby player but a great administrator for both our club and for rugby in a wider sense. His sister donated, in his memory, a trophy to be played for each year.

The competition is now regarded by many local and increasingly more distant clubs as the starting point of the season where the coaches can assess the effectiveness of their summer and pre-season training schedules. Just in case you hadn't been told before, the first year in which the competittion took place was in 1980 when a fresh-faced but handsome young school teacher playing in his first season for the Old Ys won the trophy for his side with a well-struck penalty kick that turned out to be the only score of the match. If you can name that young rugby star then claim your free pint from Brian Wood or Peter Butler before the end of the final.

A plea to club members not actually playing in the competition from the committee. Please offer your help as we need bar staff, glass collectors, BBQ chefs, car parking personnel etc. etc.

We also welcome spectators who will be pleased to know that admission is free and refreshments will be available throughout the day.

The competition is planned to cater for 8 teams but may have to expand due to popular demand. The exact format will be annonced nearer the time.

Finally, for now, my thanks to local newspapers the Solihull News and the Solihull Observer for carrying news of our event in their sports pages.

A message from the captain (Tommo's Vision)

Sun, 17 Jul 2011 13:01:03 GMT

Newly elected First XV skipper, Anthony Thompson, sends out his message in no uncertain terms.
He is not prepared to lurk near the bottom end of the league as the squad surely has the potential to achieve promotion. Having studied his sun-dial he has made it very clear that as we are now in july all players should be training on Tuesday evenings and saturday afternoons under the direction of our coach Bobo. No excuses please but contact Tommo or Bobo if you have a genuine reason for not attending training.

I want this to be clear to you, I am not checking up on any of our players as to why they are not training but there are one or two points that have to be explained. Someone told 'She who is nearly always right and when she isn't right its because you were not listening properly' that she would look good in boots. So out she goes to the outdoor pursuits shop and spends a small fortune on a pair of walking boots. This means that they have to be used so on saturday afternoon 3 blokes, 3 wives and a dog (Fluke), went for a stroll, armed with umbrellas etc. Well, as we passed through Dickens Heath it was considered important to check a well known bar and who did we spot but that law enforcement officer,'Acting Sergeant Lurch' and his drinking partner, who else but his grandad. Nick's excuse for not training was that he has a rather lengthy delay to the start of his playing season. Remember Nick, that the referee is always right!

The walk was coming to an end as Fluke decided that a swim in the canal would be a good idea. I am not certain that Mrs Brown agreed judging by the change of facial expression. Anyway, our final destination was the pub, now more of a steak house, formerly known as The Pickwick. As we were tucking into our salads out of the corner of my eye I happened to spot the two Dai's, Baldwin and Langley. I don't think either were following the club guidelines on nutrition judging by the double sized mixed grills on their plates. Boys, your secret is safe with me! and if you think a pink shirt is o.k. then that is your choice as we do live in a free country.

Minis and Juniors appoint new chairman

Fri, 08 Jul 2011 11:54:58 GMT

MR GRAHAM DAVIES

We are very pleased to welcome Graham to the chairmanship of our Minis and Juniors section. Graham, sundays will never be the same again. As the saying probably goes, 'one volunteer is better than a hundred press-ganged men.'

Graham has vast experience as a leading teacherof Physical Education and I also remember him as a player for the club a few years ago with his own unique style of play.

We would like to thank Shannon and Pat for their fifty or so years in the job (well, a long time anyway) and if you really think you will be resting on a sunday morning then think again.

At our first meeeting of the M/J section, a good range of ideas were put forward and the main areas targetted for action would be school liaision, player recruitment, to increase the number of parents and senior club members gaining qualified status as coaches and/or referees and to encourage senior players to become more involved and supportive of our younger players.

NEW PLAYERS

If there are any young players reading this who would like to consider joining our club whether you have rugby playing experience or not, then get in touch with us and discover a potentially brilliant game as well as agood social life.

PAUL GOWER

Well, would you believe it, first Simon Brown plans his comeback and next is Paul Gower. Congratulations on your appointment as player coach with particular responsibility for Cedric's Hawks XV.

AND FINALLY

It is quite a test of our nerve as well as our loyalty. Clichy gone, Cesc and Nasri possibly to follow, things look grim but remember, as Eddie Kelly said to me not that long ago, 'Mr Wenger knows best.'

Pete Smith Old Moselians RFC

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 12:23:18 GMT

Sad news reached us a few days ago from Steve Smith a friend of our club who played for our local rivals the Old Moselians, telling us of the death of his father, Pete, himself a one-time player for the Moselians, aged 69 years.

When their club broke up a good number of their players joined the Old Yards yet retained in their hearts an affection for their previous club. Steve would be happy for you to contact him for funeral details etc. on either phone 07875384904 or by e-mail steve@ameliabond.co.uk.
Steve, our thoughts and sympathy go out to your family on the loss of your father. May he rest in peace.

The real work is done off the pitch

Sat, 25 Jun 2011 16:06:15 GMT

Although the playing season is still a log way off there is still much to be done behind the scenes. A glance in the 'photos' section of this site, (if Shannon has done his stuff) tells its own story as Sid, Pricey, Brian, Tom and guest strimmer operative, Snake, put in the effort needed to ensure that the clubhouse and drive are still visble to all of us except for the very vertically challenged.

It was good to see Darren the 'snake' and impressive that he travelled from Canada just to clear our drive. Nice one Daz!

A real bonus for the club was the decision of Gary (Bobo) Robinson to continue as club coach. Highly respected by our players, Gary wishes to inform you that training starts on Tuesday (28th june) at 7 pm and on saturdays from 2nd july at 2.30 pm. Please show your respect by arriving in good time for these sessions.

A reminder for all of you involved in mini/junior rugby at the club. You must ensure that you are CRB checked. It won't cost you. For details contact Pat (via Shannon if you wish)

Finally, you should have received a letter from the newly elected First team captain, Tommo. It was a tough decision not to nominate Anthony for the Nobel prize for literature but we know exactly what the message is. Every one of us, players and supporters must do our very best to back him up with the real commitment needed to drive us on to the promotion that we are surely good enough to achieve.

Our weekly message from she who understands rugby as much as I understand ironing. Why are the players you see on television so fit looking but those at thee Old Ys and most teams you play are so grim?

Meetings, meetings and even more meetings

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 15:56:16 GMT

We even have meetings to decide when to have more meetings!

The messenger (or it might have been Shannon) asked me very politely, and it makes it difficult to say no, if I would like to attend a committee meeting on saturday afternnon. She who allocates jobs around the house was caught unawares and so off to the club I wandered.

New chairman Sean takes the chair and is immediately under fire for not answering his texts or e-mails. Good job you are not trying to convince Alan Sugar of your ability mate but we will give you time to get things sorted.

Main topic, team captains for the coming season.

1st xv     as already announced, Tommo

Development xv       Robert (Barstool) Bastock

Vandals         Stephen Walter Sidwell

Hawks        Cedric Farrell supported by Fred Bhatti

As a one time player who has been in the same team as these blokes I predict an exceptional season coming our way.

Club finance was on the agenda just for a change. Our money man, Mike, informed us that our gross income for the last year was down on the previous one. It must be remembered however, that the weather over December and January was bad enough for many of our home games to have been cancelled as well as the 'kids christmas party' and private bookings. It is not all doom and gloom financially but our main source of income is our bar, so come and support it and if you are considering having a party of some description then see what Mike has to offer.

We also talked about our mins and juniors and any offer of help whether from club supporters, players or parents would be appreciated. Furthermore, if you know of any budding rugby stars of the future, whether they have previous playing experience or not then please get in touch with us, ideally Shannon in the first instance.

I think that will do for now as Simon Brown, one time rugby superstar, is coming round to borrow my bike as he is planning to shed a few pounds in weight in readiness for his comeback in the'Kestrels'.

And finally, Mr Wenger knows best and who he buys and sells is down to him. Newcastle away, I think that means 3 points for the Gunners from the first game of the season.

Still only June but the club is preparing for next season

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 13:47:01 GMT

Good-bye last season, Hello next season

Looking ahead to the coming season, welcome to our new chairman, Sean Byrne. With a name that suggests an Irish background, he has an accent from somewhere between Shirley and Lapland and a playing ability that makes you glad that he is moving into administration. Seriously, the club is very pleased with the overwhelming vote in favour of Sean's appointment and will be supporting him all the way to promotion on the playing side and to even greater things on the social front.

We are also very excited with the club captaincy going to Antony (Tommo) Thompson who will as ever lead from the front. He did show signs of things to come when he took over the role from Dean Brain when injury curtailed his season.

At the packed out AGM it was a shrewd move not to appoint captains for the other sides until we decide on how to organise our teams, e.g.Development, Vandals, Hawks or whether to revert to 1st XV, 2nd XV etc. A decision will be made shortly so Sean informs us.

League status

Those who make such decisions have decided that we will be placed into Midlands Division 3 West (south) where we meet many of our old friends as well as one or two new ones.Our opponents will include the following.

Earlsdon, based somewhere near Warwick Uni on the outskirts of Coventry, I recall some very frenzied clashes with them a few seasons ago. A vivid memory is the promotion decider at our place which we won in style. However, their enthusiastic sing -song and cabaret was outstanding. I can only imagine what would have happened if they had won.

Evesham, a very pleasant Worcestershire town and the rugby club close to the river. Last season we beat them at home and they reciprocated when we travelled south to play them.

Keresley, where she who must be listened to was brought up. No more pit ponies, no more front-row grief dished out by Benny and The Jets (getting carried away, I meant the Freemantles), no more McNally boys, Housey, Damage or Fisher. I must own up to having enjoyed my two seasons with Keresley and as a half- back I had the armchair luxury that few others ever enjoy. Having watched your lads at the Eds it was fascinating to see the change of emphasis from forward play to backs.

Kings Norton, not too far to travel, they have worked hard to improve their playing performances to match their quite impressive facilities. We beat them well enough at home last season but slipped up over at their place.

Old Coventrians opposite the bingo hall used to be a regular fixture in the past but times change and what we used to consider to be a 'big club' has slipped a little in recent times.

Old Leams with their impressive facilities have always given us a good close game. Last season we beat them by 15 points at home and they beat us by 15 points at their place. They will be our hosts for the opening league match of the coming season.

Pinley, a club from the Coventry area gained promotion last season and in doing so trounced our local friends from the Eds. Apart from that they are an unknown force to our club.

Redditch, as I view it, is the place of work for all failed road planners and it seems to rain non-stop every time we go there. Games between us are usually tight with only a couple of points separating us last year.

Shipston is a popular community club in the small Warwickshire town. Apart from one well-publicised exception games between our clubs have usually been keenly competitive yet played in good spirit. Last season we edged a win at home and drew down there.

Southam are a workman like team who, if you don't play with total commitment, will beat you just like they did to us last season.

Woodrush are as I see it the least predictable team in the league. At their best they have a good set of backs and use them effeectively with the added bonus of a kicker who will punish you anywhere in our own half. Their forwards work hard but tend to be a little light-weight but then I guess most are compared to our juggernaut. We make that marathon trek to play them in our second league match.

A positive end to the season.

Tue, 10 May 2011 13:22:00 GMT

First XV

For their final league (Midlands west/south div 3) game of the season the Old Yards travelled to Newbold-on-Avon to play in front of a large home crowd who were there to celebrate their club's promotion success. However, a determined Yards spoiled the party. Magnificent defence kept the hosts out whilst Y's youngsters Lee Purdy and Joe Patrick each scored a try and fly half Max Gimson kicked two conversions to take the visitors to a well-deserved 14 -12 victory. Next season's newly elected captain, Anthony Thompson, must have been impressed by the character shown by this young Y's team as he looks to lead the club into a promotion challenging outfit.

Vandals XV

The success story of the year surely goes to the Yards Vandals XV which could be described as a veterans team but which includes one or two younger players from time to time as a learning experience. The Vandal's playing record this season is played 30, won 30. The 100% record was sealed with the final match of the season which was a 33 - 14 win against Tamworth.The team scored over 1300 points with top individual scorers being wingers Phil Watson with 35 tries, Lee Coates with 34 tries and prop Bill Burrows not too far behind. As the expression 'retire at the top' suggests, both team captain Martyn Cartwright and top scorer Phil Watson have decided to hang up their boots and the club hopes that they will bring their vast experience to support the coaching of the clubs younger players. Full match report below.

Just one weekend to go!

Friday night at the club is the annual dinner. Tickets available from the committee.

Saturday evening at the club is the annual Minis and Juniors presentation evening. Any support from the senior players would be appreciated.

New Committee

Following the recent AGM new officials have been elected. The full list will be published as soon as the Publicity Officer, i.e. me gets the details. However, I can tell you that Northern Bloke, Sean Byrne, is the new Chairman. I have played rugby with him and I feel certain that he will make a better chairman than a player. Only joking mate!
A big thanks to outgoing Chairman Tony Fitz who was the driving force behind the transformation of the clubhouse into it's present splendid facility.

Vandals vs. Tamworth Vets - Saturday 7th May 2011 - Presidents Day

Well it all boiled down to this, President's Day and game 30 of a long old season against our old mates Tamworth, and two fairly comfortable victories earlier on in the season meant skipper Graham Hakes and his friends wouldn't make it a third. Thankfully the heavens had opened in the proceeding 36 hours meaning the wide expanses of the First team pitch had softened up a touch bringing some welcome relief for our aging joints.

In the forwards this week Bill "Bilbo" Burrows at loosehead, Rick "Swing" Lowe at hooker and Mark "Gethin" Baldwin at tighthead, in the boiler room John "Casper" Lonie alongside Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn with Nick "the Assassin" Levey and Marcus "Shark" Hope on the flanks with Roger "the Dodger" Lazenby returning at No.8.

In the backs Phil "the General" Evans at scrum half, alongside Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, Nick "Barrel" Palmer partnering Tony "Fitz" Fitzgerald in midfield, with wings Phil "Horse" Watson and Lee "Coatesy" Coates with the multi-purpose Simon "Slippery" Singleton at fullback.

Given the occasion virtually a second XV available on the bench Shannon "Steps" Killarney, Gary "Smokin" Williams, Alan "the Colt" Arkell, Rob "Barstool" Bastock, Iain "Johnno" Johnson, Andy "Fred" Killarney, Mike "Nearly" Neary, Billy "Wishbone" Hendon, Ed "Forrest" McDonald, Tim "Nemo" Russell, Chris "Golf Ball" Rowe, Steve "Grainge" Grainger & bringing up the water bottles for the last time Captain Slow.

Rashly Captain Slow flips the coin this week and Tamworth's Graham Hakes calls heads and heads it is and Tamworth elect to play towards the Clubhouse in the first half, unwittingly giving us the scent of beer in the second.

It's very nip and tuck and after 23 minutes the scoreboard (if we had one) remained untroubled, the only light relief of a tense opening twenty minutes being provided by our referee for the day Mr Ian Armitage (who tells me he reads these) who whilst taking evasive action from a Tamworth kick inadvertently collides with the bony hip of big Phil and his nose erupts in crimson. A few minutes later the former Eds prop forward, his nose bunged up with Vaseline returns to the park to rousing applause from the modest crowd.

A few additional older heads for Tamworth this time out, at No.8 (not that he was ever really joined to the scrum at any point), at prop and at inside centre have added steel to that already provided by Hakesy and big Andy and in fairness were probably worth the opening score on 24 minutes. When following a scrum about five metres from our line Tamworth are awarded a penalty for offside, they opt to go for another scrum, and following last week's successes Rick decides to go fishing and is unlucky not to pinch it. The ball comes back and their No.8 picks & goes but he's held up on the line by Rog and a few others, the ball goes to ground they manage to get it back. Sir's looking like he's wanting to give another penalty, which eventually he does as we impede the ball's progress. Hakesy tries to take it quickly but Sir wants a word with Casper, no doubt the word persistent & red zone being uppermost in his mind.

Tamworth thinking they have us on the rack go for the scrum again, five metres out from our line, they get the drive on, Roger sneaks round onto the Assassin's shoulder to cover the break, but we can't prevent them from scoring the push-over close to the posts 5-0. Simple conversion for a 7-0 lead.

It's a low trajectory restart from Nev which ricochets of a pair of Tamworth shins and Shark's first to the rebound, Bilbo picks and his pass back to big Phil is almost intercepted by Rick! We spin, the General out to Nev who sees a gap over the top and kicks for position the ball going out one or two metres inside the Tamworth twenty two. They throw it short and just about come away with it, scrum half to fly half who kicks it downfield where it's taken by Slippery at fullback, he looks to open it out but then decides to chip ahead, and a Tamworth player collects, plays it safe and kicks to touch.

Quickly taken lineout, we secure and the ball finds Horse who brings it in field. He's stopped and we recycle, General digs it out, to Nev to Fitz, who's held up and the ball illegally held in and we get the penalty. Nev kicks for touch the ball going out about five metres inside their twenty two. Gethin's throw despite Hakesy's best efforts hits BMT at four and we set then drive, so Hakesy takes to tunnelling instead and nicks the ball from our midst, and Tamworth get the nudge on before the scrum half gets it and box kicks over the top, but straight to Coatsey who lights them up and sets off on the diagonal towards the opposite corner, but you know he's never gonna pass to Horse, instead he gives the inside pass to Barrel at the last minute and he goes over about six or seven metres in from the touchline for his 13th try of the season 5-7. It's a great conversion from wide out by Nev to give us parity at 7-7

The game becomes tight again for a five minute spell after our equaliser with tackles coming in from both sides. Following a forward pass we are awarded a scrum midway between the Tamworth ten & twenty two, Tamworth get a big shove on but we survive it and the General picks & spins to Nev who finds Barrel who breaks the first couple of tackles and gets behind the line of the Tamworth scrum before he's gang tackled and the ball spills forward. Sir plays good advantage as Tamworth look to run but then decide to kick their advantage away, Coatesy chases after it, collects, turns, sees the gap and sets off through the now broken field. Someone manages to get a glove on him and the pill spills, but it goes backwards and Casper's first to it. He pops it up and we spin to Nev, he kicks over the top, but finds their winger instead of touch, he comes back inside, beats Nev and it's Fitz who makes the tackle and the ball pops free and it's Fitz who reacts the quickest and finds Horse who sets off and the cries go up "feed the Horse" and the big man thunders down the tram lines to go over wide out 12-7. It's a cracking kick by Nev who's obviously brought his kicking boots with him today 14-7.

Nick Levey eventually takes the bouncing ball from the restart on the deck between our ten & twenty two and Tamworth come tumbling over the top and Hakesy seems to have pinched it, but not for the first time this season Casper manages to get his toe to it and it comes firing out the back and into midfield. Tamworth collect the loose ball and start to bring it back and Nev makes the first up tackle, Barrel's next in and it looks at first like we've turned it over, but at the last minute it squirts out the side and Tamworth come away with it and link a good series of passes together and get into our twenty two and it's Symes who makes the tackle, but the ref's whistle goes, what he's given we're not so sure, but the Tamworth No.8 is and takes it quickly, confusion reigns as he gets almost to the line before he's held up, but the ref's whistle goes again, not retreating I guess and we come back for another penalty for Tamworth about five metres out. Again they opt to take the scrum, the first one goes down and we have another go, their powerful unit gets on the move once and it's their No.8 who goes over close to the posts 14-12. Straight foward conversion and all square at 14-14. Game on.

It's another low restart that reaches the Tamworth twenty two before it's gathered and big Phil makes the tackle and Roger's first to him but they set then spin, Nev makes the tackle, and they recycle and go again via big Andy in close, Nev's in there closely followed by Rog, but again they get it away and a Tamworth player spots the gap and it's the General who looks to close it, but they get past him so the next tackle's off Coatsey as Tamworth start to cleverly string the short pop & drives together. Hakesy's next to have a go, he's tackled and goes to ground, they recycle and this time they go wide and their youngsters create space and set off, Horse is beaten, then Symes and it's Coatesy who has to get back to make the final tackle, the ball comes free and Fitzy wellies it into touch to bring the half to a close

Halftime 14-14 & a drop of Port for a change, shares in Sainsbury's isotonics plummet and some stern words off Johnno. Four changes at halftime, Johnno comes on for the General, Barstool for Roger, Shannon for Bilbo and Smokin' for Tony Fitz.

It's a very long restart by Nev and the Tamworth fullback is forced to field it about five metres from his line, he looks to bring it out and Shannon's straight into the action with the tackle, and we drive over and we're pinged as Barstool neglects the gate and climbs over the fence instead. They kick to clear finding a good touch a few metres from the halfway line, but the Tamworth throw's deemed not straight so we get the scrum. Steady ball, Johnno picks but his pass doesn't find Coatsey, but Nev scoops it up and chips ahead and catches his own work, so then tries a dummy chip, but they don't fall for it and he's driven into touch around the halfway line for a throw to Tamworth.

They just about win the linout but the ref's whistle goes and we get a free kick, which Johnno takes quickly, sells a dummy and heads for the corner, he gets to within a couple of metres of the goal line before he's held up, the Assassin's first to him (not bad for 50) he secures it then spins out blind and goes over to score a great try in the corner 19-14 Nev is desperately unlucky as his conversion attempt comes back off the far upright.

The Stepmiester calls for it, but it's a bit too high and it passes through his hands and big Phil picks up and he makes his customary few metres before looking inside, but goes to ground instead and we drive over. Barstool pops it up off the deck to Johnno who chips ahead and makes a crunching tackle on the catcher before bundling him into touch. There's a few minutes delay for a Tamworth injury before we take the lineout. Gethin wangs it in, but Hakesy beats BMT to it, but whistle goes anyway and Tamworth get a free kick, which they take quickly through their No.8. He takes the tackle and they all pile in and drive it on, but we stall it first, then drive it back a yard so they take it to ground, recycle and go close but the ball comes loose and big Phil's on it in a flash and we turn it over. Johnno spins to Coatesy who chips ahead for Horse to run onto but it cannons off his fetlocks and goes into touch for a Tamworth lineout, but ref decides it's come off more than his knees and they get the scrum instead. Nick Levey comes off and the Colt Arkell comes on.

Ball comes in, the Tamworth the scrum half decides to stand his ground blocking Johnno's progress to the ball so Johnno unceremoneously dumps him on his backside. Penalty Tamworth and a few words off Mr Armitage. Tamworth kick for touch the ball going out on the halfway line but the resulting throw is not straight and we get the scrum. Barstool picks up at the base and goes, he's snagged so offloads inside to Marcus who takes it to ground and the 677 pile in. Johnno picks up short pop to Shannon who sells his customary dummy and breaks the line before offloading to big Phil who drops it. Scrum Tamworth.

The No.8 picks up and goes and Rob makes the tackle, cue minor unpleasantness, but they manage to get it away into midfield where Arks manages to hold the man up and the ball in and we get the put in at the resulting scrum on the Tamworth ten metre line. Steady ball comes to Barstool's feet, Johnno picks up and feeds to Nev, dummy scissors Barrel, to Smokin', gets held but breaks free and makes another metre before off loading to Barstool in support but it's adjudged forward, scrum to Tamworth about five or six metres outside their twenty two.

The scrum half comes blind but the Colt has him, and we turn it over and Coatsey comes away with it steps in steps out, starts looking for his fellow backs, finds Barrel, to Smokin' and it's a great timed pass to Horse, massive hand off heads to the corner, crosses the line and brings it all the way across to the posts...great try 24-14 Nev drop kicks over the conversion 26-14.

Casper comes off and Andy K comes on. Brother Shannon calls for the restart, catches and dummies Andy, makes a yard before giving Andy a real pass and he takes it into contact as we start to warm to the task, we go to ground. Johnno picks up passes to Nev who puts it up & over, the Tamworth winger collects and brings it on and Johnno puts in another great tackle but is quickly penalised for not rolling away, penalty Tamworth. They kick to touch the ball going out on our ten metre line.

They take at two and drive, making some good yardage before the massive holds them up, they go again, it goes to ground, Sir spots something, penalty advantage Tamworth, they spin Barrel makes the tackle in midfield, then Johnno finishes the job and upends him and Barstool strips him of the ball, before the ref decides no advantage gained..at least we got some tackle practice in. Scrum half takes it pops it to Hakesy and it comes loose, Rick picks it up offloads to Johnno who kicks ahead and gives chase. The Tamworth winger brings it out and they spin and Coatsey makes the first tackle and Barrel the next and it goes forward in the tackle and we get the scrum. Shark comes off on Steve Grainger comes on, Gethin makes way for Billy Hendon.

The first one goes down, the second a lot more steady Barstool picks up & goes, he bounces off Hakesy and keeps on going, he finally goes to ground and we set over, referee calls ruck but the Tamworth hands remain in and we get the penalty and we kick for position. The lineout's messy and the ball goes forward off a Yards hand, and after another long injury stoppage Tamworth get the scrum.

The No.8 picks up at the base & goes, and Johnno makes a great tackle and earns a scrum for a knock on; but we squander the opportunity as they take it against the head, though the wheeling scrum prevents them from taking any immediate advantage. Scrum Tamworth, we have a couple of goes at it before their No.8 picks up and it's sent out and Coatsey & Grainger make the tackle in midfield. Arks joins the party and we look to have contained it, before Hakesy tries to take it through the middle. He gets isolated as we pile in and Barstool comes away with it and pops it to Johnno, to Coatesy who kicks and gives us something to run onto, Horse is first to the catcher but his tackle is deemed high and Tamworth get the penalty at which point Wishbone comes off for a bloody head wound and a dollop of Vaseline.

The ambitious kick doesn't make touch and finds Slippery instead who looks to come up the touchline, but he's driven into touch. Tamworth secure their ball and take it round the fringe and Steve Grainger makes the tackle, and they have to recycle and go wide where Barstool makes the next tackle in midfield, they go short then via big Andy, but we stand firm and then drive them back. Going nowhere they kick ahead but it goes dirct into touch. Tim Russell comes on at tighthead, Wishbone moves across to hooker and Rick takes a hard earned bow.

With just under ten minutes to go a deep kick into our territory from the Tamworth fly half finds Slippery who picks the ball up inside our twenty two, makes a typically searing mazy break, beats the outside centre and gets to the halfway line where he finds Coatesy in support, who lights them up and he gets to within about ten metres of the Tamworth line, refusing to pass it back to Slippery (apparently) despite his repeated requests, instead Lee finds Smokin' who cuts back inside and takes the scoring pass to go over 31-14 Nev steps up and slots his fourth conversion of the afternoon 33-14.

With five minutes to go Slow comes on for the final time with Barrel giving way, Mike Neary comes on for Slippery at fullback, and Ed McDonald comes on for Coatesy.

Even with time running out Tamworth refuse to give in and pressurise us to the last, with some final belligerent defence from Grainger & Barstool to the fore

Job done, Mr Armitage blows his whistle, Slow gets something in his eye.

Final Score 33-14 Final Age a spritely 629 and an unbeaten season.

Thanks to Tamworth for a very good game played in an excellent spirit throughout.

30 games 30 wins 1310 for, 261 against, 217 tries.......not bad for "a bunch of fat old b*stards"

Man in the dirtiest shirt goes to all who participated this season.

Lots of photos on the Orphan's Facebook page and our fixture list on our website is now on view for all the world to see.

This has been a hard one to write.... thank f**k I don't have to do another one LOL!

This is Slow signing off.

PS: As you may have heard Eds are playing HAC RFC in the Junior Vase final in a few weeks, should anybody be curious, as I was, it stands for The Honourable Artillery Company, who have just won back to back promotions, so tough prospect in sight for Eds.

Almost there, one more fence to jump!

Thu, 05 May 2011 20:46:30 GMT

First XV

The team has to play a game that was postponed earlier in the season. Although it has no effect on league positions it would be good to finish the year on a positive note at Newbold the runners-up in our division.

President's Day at our club

The focus will be on our Vandals team who have performed superbly all through the season. The opposition will be a very useful side, Tamworth. Kick off at the club will be 3 pm. Come and cheer them on.

As you know, the tradition on this end of season day is that the club president, currently Uncle Sid, will be more generous than usual and if you tell him how good he was, and still is, as a rugby star then it's highly probable that he will buy you a drink

Minis and Juniors

Your presentation evening is on saturday 14th May at the club from 6.30pm. Not to be missed, refreshments available and parents are warmly invited to join us.

Other important dates

Friday 6th May Club AGM 7pm. It is your club so offer your support to it.
Saturday 7th May Presidents Day followed by an Evening of sophistication.
Friday 13th May Players annual dinner at the club with guest speaker Martin Corry.
Saturday 14th May Minis and Juniors Presentation Evening at the club from 6.30.

Congratulations
Firstly to Mr Wenger's Boys who defeated Man U with considerable ease.

Also, well done to the Edwardians who have booked a place at Twickers in the Junior Vase. Good luck lads and I actually mean it. However, no promotion this year. It's a funny old world really.

Vandals vs. Redditch 2nds - full match report

With no scheduled fixture our penultimate game of the season found us in the Pool initially with Harborne 3rds but after their late Friday night cry off Tom had to go fishing again Saturday morning and invited a combined Redditch side over to Fort Tilehouse, from the look of it mostly seconds with two or three first teamers and the odd Vet.

In the forwards this week Bill "Bilbo" Burrows at loosehead, Rick "Swing" Lowe at hooker and Mark "Gethin" Baldwin at tighthead, in the boiler room John "Casper" Lonie alongside Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn with Nick "the Assassin" Levey and Chris "Golf ball" Rowe on the flanks with Rupert "the Major" Young at No.8.

In the backs Lee "Coatesy" Coates at scrum half, alongside returnee Barry-John "Baz" Cole at fly half, Nick "Barrel" Palmer partnering Gary "Smokin" Williams in midfield, with wings Simon "Slippery" Singleton and Dave "Chicken" Hanson and Dave "Ralph" Rollins at fullback. A modest but brutal looking bench at our disposal this week, with Gary "Bobo" Robinson, Peter "Fridge" Butler, Alan "the Colt" Arkell, newcomer Paul McGlynn & Captain Slow.

On another unseasonably warm day with a bone hard pitch Stunt skipper Lonie again kept up his recent run of success and wins the toss and elects to play towards the beer in the second half.

Their pinked shorted scrum half kicks off and despite their first team No.8's best efforts Bilbo makes the catch and we set round, Redditch sneak round offside, Roger the ref spots it and signals advantage, but none comes as Coatsey's Dambuster comes bouncing out to Barrel in midfield. Smokin' takes it quickly gives it to Chicken whose onwards pass takes a deflection off a Redditch player and goes into touch. Gethin's throw is deemed not straight and we come back for the game's first scrum. (I was told on the touchline by their third team prop that their front row had a combined weight approaching nearly sixty stones!! Hardly surprising seeing the enormous first team prop they'd slipped in). They take it comfortably and the number eight tries his luck but gets no change as Golf ball makes the tackle, he does manage to offload it to his scrum half who kicks ahead and Ralph fields it inside our twenty two and kicks down field the ball landing around their ten metres line. Their young winger brings it back and passes to their No.8 who sends a wild one out, but gets away with it but the catcher is hit by Slippery, Baz picks up and pops it to big Phil who takes it into contact and we drive over.

Coatesy sends it out to Baz who finds Golf ball who goes up the middle and breaks the gain line, we set again, Coatesy to Baz who changes the direction of the attack and sends it back across the grain to Smokin' who finds Barrel, to Chicken who's pass back inside goes loose and forward, scrum Redditch. They take without fuss, scrum half whips it out the fly half, he dummies goes through a bit of a gap, offloads to his centre who kicks ahead but straight to Ralph who still nursing his pelvic injury from the Woodrush game is forced to meekly chip it into touch and has to admit defeat. He comes off and debutant Paul McGlynn latterly of Kings Norton, who arrived an hour earlier looking for a game comes onto the wing.

There's a knock on at the line by Redditch and we get the scrum as a result just on our twenty two; they put the wheel on and turn it 180 and they get the put in. This time we have a go, put the wheel on, whistle goes and we get the all back. At the third time of asking the ref decides they're deliberately pulling it round...d'oh and gives us the penalty. Coatesy puts in a great touch finder the ball going out on their ten metre line.

Big Phil takes it cleanly and we drive it on a couple before Coatesy sends it out, Baz taking it around his knees, he pops it back inside to the Assassin, but it goes forward but no matter as ref's been playing penalty advantage for an infringement at the line. Coatesy puts it out on their twenty two, but it's overthrown and slightly off course and the ref awards Redditch the scrum back on the twenty two.

Steady Redditch scrum, the scrum half plucks it out from the base and spins to his fly half, Coatsey's breathing down his neck and has to clear to touch. Gethin hits BMT at four and we set then drive a metres before Coatesy sends it out to Baz who brings Barrel in on his first scissors of the day, he cuts through, finds Paul on his inside shoulder. He goes to ground and the Green Machine drives over and Barrel steps in at scrum half, snipes and makes half a yard before he too goes to ground. Bilbo picks up passes to Swing who shows a dummy and gets past the first man, is tackled by the next, but the ball comes safely back and Coatesy spins to Baz but whistle goes for offside. Coatesy takes it quickly, to Baz to Barrel who knocks it on on the excitement, scrum to Redditch. From which we get a free kick, and we go quickly and Redditch are pinged for not being ten. We go again this time Coatesy gives it to Casper who takes it into contact and then to ground and we pile over, but are rather harshly penalised for holding on (not that we would in the red zone mind!). The Redditch fly half clears to touch the ball going out a metre or so beyond their twenty two. The Major steals it at two and we spin quickly through the hands, Baz misses Barrel, straight to Smokin', to Chicken to Slippery who sprints in and goes over in the corner almost minus his head for our opening score of the afternoon 5-0. Conversion missed.

In Shannon's absence Casper takes the restart, and their obviously very fit No.8 is first to him, but he lays the ball back successfully, Coatsey picks up and passes to Baz who kicks to touch, but we fall foul of one of those reasonably recent law changes, having passed back into the twenty two, so the lineout takes place just on our twenty two. They take cleanly, quickly organise and drive towards the line using their weight advantage to good effect. We finally halt their progress about five metres out from our line, the ball goes to ground and appears to come back normally but the referee signals penalty advantage to Redditch for hands in, but they don't need it as their No.8 picks up and spins it out and one of their backs gets through to score the equaliser 5-5 Conversion missed .

It's a bit nip & tuck for the next five or so minutes until we're awarded a penalty well inside our twenty two, Coatesy kicks to touch the ball going out just shy of the half way line. Redditch compete well at the line but despite the pressure it's the Major who eventually comes away with it and finds Rick, but the ref's spotted something (don't they always) and awards a penalty to Redditch. They opt to run but the first pass is wayward but eventually collect and one of their young centres makes the break but he's tackled by Rick on our ten metre line, big Phil's first to the breakdown but Redditch manage to recycle and go blind and Nick Levey makes the tackle and Redditch have to set again. This time their big bulldozer of a lad has a go and makes good yardage before offloading to some poor unfortunate as Chris Crash puts in one of his dump specials just on our twenty two. Referee blows, calls Chris & Casper to him, and a long chat ensues no doubt about what goes up must come (safely) down and then awards us the penalty...go figure.

Coatesy rifles a massive kick down field the ball going out on their twenty two. Redditch knock it on in the line and we get the scrum. Good steady ball from our hard working pack and Coatesy picks up from the base and decides to take matters into his own hands, lights up the afterburners breaks the first couple of tackles and simply gasses the rest to restore our lead 10-5 Conversion missed.

Bilbo takes the restart and the Vandal massive gather round and just about see off the Redditch player who's infiltrated his way through the middle, ball goes to the deck Coatesy picks & spins to Baz he breaks the line, gets caught but stands it up, super fit BMT is first there, Baz goes to ground big Phil builds the bridge and we set. Ball comes back to Baz, he's on his own so he steps the first man, then a second before passing to Coatesy and he sets off. It takes a great tackle to bring him down just shy of their twenty two but our other speedster Slippery is there in support, picks up and kicks ahead for the line and is tackled so late it hasn't happened yet...penalty to Yards.

Baz takes it quickly and admittedly we get a lucky break as the ball appears to go forward, but it's not spotted and Barrel comes in on one of his trademark runs and carves his way through the middle to score 15-5 Conversion missed.

But that's the last bit of meaningful action of the half, other than some handbags being thrown (thinking of Saturday, more clutch bags really) and Slippery's last ditch try saving tackle on their big unit when the score looked certain.

Halftime 15-5 New recipe isotonics taken on board, and Casper lectures the boys on not being bullied and fronting up. Just the one change, Gethin comes off and Fridge comes on at tighthead.

Not the best start as our kick off doesn't go the ten and within five minutes after a spell of sustained pressure we're pulled in field, and the young Redditch wing forward (also 1st team I believe) rounds our flank, evades Chicken's last ditch tackle to go over in the corner 15-10 Conversion missed, Slow muses not a game for kicks then.

Our restart goes straight out so we come back for a scrum to Redditch on the centre spot, but Rick and the boys have other ideas and we take it against the head, we go blind Coatesy finds Baz who pops it to Paul who makes good ground before being driven into touch by sheer weight of numbers just on the halfway line. We get hands in at the line, and their scrum half knocks on, ref looks to play advantage and BMT picks up the loose ball and takes it on and then to ground, and we drive over but Redditch are pinged for the tackler not rolling away. We opt for touch the ball going out five metres inside their twenty two. We shorten the line, trying to be experimental and then throw it to them...Slow mutters some obscenity. Rupe tries to dig his way in but they drive on regardless and reach their twenty two before we halt their progress and they lose it for not using it.

But the ref gets a bit precious and pings Fridge for engaging too early and Peter looks a little bemused. They take it quickly and try to run it out of their twenty two, Nick Levey makes the tackle, the ball goes to the deck and their scrum half picks up and flings a bit of a wild one out missing most of his backs and a Redditch player is forced to stand it up as he's floored by big Phil and Paul showing his back row credentials steps in ans strips out the ball and passes to Coatesy who brings it out feeds Barrel on the scissors, he's tackled so lays it back, Coatesy picks up passes to Baz who feeds big Phil five metres out and he barges through the smallest bloke on the park, their scrum half to score in the corner 20-10 Coatesy then puts a screamer over from the touchline to increase our lead to 22-10 and to you Vandals scholars the point of no return for our opposition.

Chris and his troublesome Achilles comes off, the Major moves onto the flank and Bobo comes on at No.8

We knock on at the restart and Redditch get the scrum inside our ten metre line, despite a good nudge the ball reaches their No.8 and he picks up and feeds their live wire young flanker who gets to within a few metres of our twenty two before offloading to their big unit who runs into Bobo and they must of felt the shock wave of that collision in Fukushima! Gary's impression of a tank trap though does just enough to stall the big fella and the ball goes to ground and I think it's Lee who's pinged for hands in the ruck. Their No.8 takes it quickly, we're not ten, he feeds his winger no advantage, ref blows, No.8 takes it quickly again, whistle goes again and Smokin' tries to engage the referee in some deep philosophical discussion. The ref seemingly peeved calls Captain Casper over and after a long discussion, rather curiously Redditch opt for a scrum rather than the penalty about ten metres from our line. It's a good scrum and the scum half picks up and the Assassin picks him up and they've lost best part of ten metres in the process, but they manage to recycle and their behemoth takes it close, but there's been an obstruction in the process of the pass and the ref gives us the penalty.

Chicken takes it quickly, they've not retreated the ten but the ref seems happy to let them get away with it, and eventually we cough it up and the ball goes forward and Redditch get the scrum. The No.8 picks up and he's clattered then driven back by the Major, he offloads but we press and they lose more yards, finally the fly half gets the ball and Fridge and then Barrel and we turn him and steal it and out it goes to Baz to Slippery who takes it over his shoulder and it goes marginally forward, scrum Redditch.

The Assassin comes off and the Colt Arkell trots onto the flank and creates probably one of the heaviest eights we've had all season. We get the shove on and Rick goes fishing and we take it against the head, Coatesy picks up and makes the initial break, he's tackled, Baz picks up and spins it to Barrel, who finds Smokin' who steps the first man, then gets gang tackled and their winger comes away with it but Smokes shows great fitness as he hunts him down and makes the tackle, and Lonie the next, and then Chicken as our defence drives them wide and eventually into touch on the far side just outside our twenty two. Big Phil takes it cleanly at four and sets off making his customary ten metres, Coatsey's in there, passes to Bazza who puts in a great kick down field and their winger's forced to run it into touch just inside their ten metre line.

It's a great throw by Rick who hits Casper at two, Fridge is in there and we drive it on a yard before releasing it, Coatesy to Baz, double dummy in midfield, pass to Chicken to Slippery but it's knocked on, for a scrum to Redditch on the halfway line. The No.8 picks up and passes behind his fly half and the centre is forced to pick it up and we snaffle him up and it goes to ground. They recycle and come blind via the young flanker, he breaks the first tackle but not Barry-John's, Barrel makes the next tackle and the ball goes to ground, and they recycle as we stand off and let them have it, they come blind again and we cover across, they come back inside and we turn it over. Coatesy finds Baz, he sees a gap and he's gone, then sends a great timed pass to Chicken who puts it back inside to Barry-John who's a bit isolated so hurls one into space and Slippery picks up and puts it back inside to Smokin's but it goes to ground with only the line to beat. Scrum to Redditch about 15 metres from their line but they contrive to knock it on at the base and we get the put in. Some old school French named cleverness is called by Bobo and he picks up feeds it inside to Arks, who pops it back to Bobo who takes it into contact but we're pinged for something and Redditch get the opportunity to clear their lines the ball going out just inside their half. Big Phil steals their ball and the ref blows and gives us the scrum!!!!!

Steady ball, Coatsey to Baz, Barrel comes in on the scissors, breaks the line and gets all the way to the Redditch twenty two, looks inside finds Coatsey on his shoulder he steps on the gas, steps in, steps out, looks, but backs himself and goes over for his second try of the afternoon 27-10 Conversion missed.

We knock on at the restart and Redditch get the scrum just inside our ten metre line, but Rick goes fishing again and we take it against the head, Bobo has it secure at his feet and Coatsey plucks it out, to Baz long miss pass straight to Chicken, run round by Smokin' to Paul, back inside to Chicken to Simon in off his wing, who after a season of earning dodgy nicknames finally does like the song and goes straight down the middle to score under the posts 32-10 Lee adds a second conversion 34-10

And with that the ref blows for full time.

Final Score 34-10 Final Age a spritely 621 and our 29th victory of the season.

Man in the dirtiest shirt goes to Bilbo this week for sticking with his behemoth in the set pieces.

We wish a safe voyage to Paul McGlynn who's game was his first & last (but hopefully not for too long) as he's off to fight the pirates and wish him a safe return.

Saturday President's Day, our 30th and thankfully our final game of a very long season against Tamworth before donning our gowns and taking Moseley by storm.

Finally would 1300 points be too much to ask for??

Slow

Flat as a pancake (that Peter has sat on)

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 16:48:39 GMT

The end of the season gets nearer. The ground would be hard and dry enough for cricket if anybody actually wanted to play the game.

I even watched some rugby on the box. Wasps planned a big day out at Twickers with all kinds of acts for the fans. Trouble is they forgot to play as Bath's runners destroyed the London side with style.

If they were horses in the national you would say they had fallen at the last fence. Still playing 'beautiful football' but also letting in soft goals and trying to make ten passes in the box before scoring. Can Wenger go, 'no', can Cesc go, 'yes' - at a price.

Rugby

Tour, as promised, no news to tell.

This coming Saturday 30th April

1st XV v Exiles away
Dev XV v Wolverhampton home
3rd XV v Harborne 3rds home

Social etc.

Dates for your diaries, phones or, in Sid's world, your filofaxes.

Friday 29th April: Royal knees up (or p_ss up) adults only, disco and buffet all for a fiver.

Friday 6th May: AGM at the club 7pm. Give it a go, experience not essential, thick skin vital.

Saturday 7th May: President's day. Details to follow but likely to include drinking and rugby.

Friday 13th May: Annual Dinner at the club, guest speaker Martin Corry who I feel sure will provide controversial tales from behind the scenes at Leicester, England etc. Tickets from anyone on the committee.

We all make mistakes

Captain Slow spotted a score error on the website of a local club who play in green/white. In a recent game at their place our Vandals XV (3rds) defeated their 2nds - not the other way round. Probably a typing error.

Apathy rears its ugly face as the season's end approaches.

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 17:07:51 GMT

On the time I set aside to transfer my thoughts on Old Ys rugby on to Old Ys website the sun was shining and rugby was not really driving my journalistic skills forward. Then just as I was about to log on, She who knows where to acquire free tickets for National Trust places of interest informed me that in a few minutes time that we would be on our way to a place called Packwood House. Not being a regular enthusiast for such fascinating places I guess it was not too bad for a couple of hours but the mind was starting to drift on things like how could some referee allow Liverpool to score an equalising penalty in the 111th minute when only 8 mins of stoppage time was indicated. As I listened briefly to the guide, something he said helped me to refocus on rugby again. 'At this time of year we get a lot of walkers coming out of the woodwork' This got me thinking. More in a moment but next comes a review of last weekends matches.

First XV

With the threat of relegation seemingly removed and promotion never really a realistic hope, a somewhat dead match at Old Leamingtonians, who we beat 15 - 0 earlier in the season, was our penultimate league fixture. The story might seem familiar. Plenty of possession but without the powerful strike running of Steve Grainger we were not as effective as we might have been. 12 - 7 ahead at half time with the question being asked by Ys followers along the lines of would that be enough and deep down most of the answers suggeested that we would tire and struggle to hang on to the lead. Totally correct. Final score 34 - 19 to the hosts. For Old Ys tries were scored by Adam Walker x2 and Big Andy P (good to see you playing again) with Max converting two. The Bobo man of the match award goes to Adam Walker.

Development XV

Our young hopefulls hosted an Alcester team comprising of a mix of their first and second team players. A comfortable winning score of 24 - 15 makes it look easier than it actually was as Alcester moved the ball well but also defended well for much of the game. Eds two tries and one for James Walker along with some kicks proved to be enough. Luke awards his man of the match award to James Walker.

Vandals XV

Having lost my way a couple of times I eventually arrived at Woodrush 10 minutes before kick-off. A strange sight caught my eyes, our boys were warming up but the home side were not to be seen. When the game eventually got going it looked very much like a case of our strength and experience againsst their second team youthful enthusiasm, pace and stamina. A fairly close first half saw the Y's turn around with a narrow lead. To keep it simple our wingers did the job required. Phil runs directly and takes the shortest route to the try line with nothing stopping him. Lee takes a variety of routes but with pace and change of direction such that he rarely gets stopped.
A final score of 44-19 to our boys saw tries from Lee x3, Phil W x2 Tony Fitz x2 and Rob B with Ralph and Lee getting a con each. Full report below.

Mini/Juniors

Nigel Walker reports that his under 14s lost at Aston Old Eds last sunday. I remember Nigel as a second row player who was always determined to do his best on the pitch and expected the same from the rest of the team. He still has this approach as a coach and the improvement shown by his team over the course of the season is clear to see. Well done lads.

It has been said by many experts that you can only find out how good you are by taking on the very best. The under 15s have really come on this year and victories at places such as Bromsgrove and Camp Hill have shown this to be true. However, Lichfield taught us that there is still much to be done before we can claim to be a 'top side'. They ran at us with pace and precision, rarely wasting possession and although our boys defended well it was very much a learning experience.

My reporters this week seemed to be impressed by anyone with the name 'Walker'. Well, in my early Old Ys playing days there was a 'brick wall' back rower by the name of Richard Walker and a second row called Nigel Walker and they were sound rather than spectacular but the sort of player you were glad to have in your team. The nomination by the captains as their 'Man of the Match' was awarded to Walker and Walker. Add to that another promising Walker in the under 14s made for an interesting coincidence. Well, I thought so anyway.

Tour Approaching

Enjoy yourselves lads and remember 'what goes on tour stays on tour', so don't expect a tour report from me.

Have a good Easter.

Woodrush 2nd XV vs. Old Yards 3rd XV/Vets (The Vandals)

With the current trend of opposition crying off continuing apace with Claverdon going the way of Droitwich et al Tom found us a nice local fixture in Woodrush 2nds, a very tricky fixture on paper given last season's encounter and having already played our Development Side twice this season having won one and lost one by a two point margin in each case.

In the pack this week Shannon "Steps" Killarney at loosehead, Rick "Swing" Lowe at hooker, and Bill "Bilbo" Burrows at tighthead, in the boiler room John "Fingers" Lonie and Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn with Chris "Crash" Rowe and Rupert "the Major" Young on the flanks with Rob "Barstool" Bastock at No.8.

In the backs scrum half Phil "the General" Evans reunited with Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, a return also for the Chairman Tony "Fitz" Fitzgerald partnering (eventually) Gary "Smokin'" Williams , with wings Phil "Horse" Watson and Lee "Coatesy" Coates and Dave "Ralph" Rollins at fullback .

A small deckchair this week, with Mark "Telecon" Baldwin, Roger "the Dodger" Lazenby returning after a lengthy spell away following ear surgery & Captain Slow

Stunt skipper Lonie again guesses correctly and opts to receive and play towards the Icknield Road, the pitch sloping side to side this week and offering no real advantage for our second half gravity drive system.

With Woodrush obviously hearing of our exploits they're out there nice & early like Oldfield & Bournville going through the drills as we casually roll up in twos & threes, get changed and have a fag or two. We take to the pitch a man short as we wait for Smokin' to arrive, so Slow first engages the referee young Andy & then Leachy the Woodrush fly half in casual conversation to string things out for a few minutes while Gary gets changed and joins the rest of us (shades of Shipston here). Gary if you were any more laid back with regards to meet times you'd be f**king horizontal!!

All present then and Shannon the ball magnet takes the kick off, big Phil's first to him and then the rest of the 677 gather round, and the green machine rolls forward before Barstool takes it blind, he's held up and has to go to to ground and we drive over despite the young Woodrush Eight trying to do much the same. The General picks up and spins to Nev, he does a step, looks to kick, then tries to run his way through, evades the first tackle but not the second and has to go to ground and we all pile over. The General digs it out and pops it to Barstool on the burst who takes it into contact and we clear them out, the General goes blind and feeds the Horse but he's little or no space to work with and puts a foot into touch for a lineout to Woodrush.

Big Phil takes their ball and sets off through the gap, he makes good yards before he's stopped, he turns offloads to Bilbo, to the General to the Major who goes to ground and we clear them out, the General pops it up to Barstool who goes route one, as we play it close & personal for a couple of phases. The General looks for his runners, but spins to Nev instead who pops it back inside to BMT but he's caught behind the gain line and we have to set and go again, the General scoops it up passes to the Major, who finds Horse who looks for space & bounces a couple in the process, a Woodrush spectator yells "put him on his ar5e" easier said than done my friend as he keeps on going. He's eventually hauled to the ground but Shannon picks it up off the deck and pops it to Rupe who makes another couple, Bilbo's next to have a go, he offloads to Lonie who goes to ground and Woodrush are pinged for coming over the top. We take it quickly and Barstool goes and boshes a couple and gets to within ten metres of the line, we recycle and Shannon gets in his first dummy of the day and the youngsters buy it, he offloads to Lonie, we're within five metres of the line. We set again, big Phil picks up as the General's otherwise engaged, ball comes back as the referee signals penalty advantage as Woodrush infringe as they try to stem the green tide and we drive it into the corner, and it's a good advantage as we go short and Barstool bulldozes his way over for the afternoon's first score 5-0 Ralph's conversion attempt sails over 7-0 and it's the best start to a game for a long time, and the Woodrush youngsters look a little shell shocked.

Shannon calls for the restart but it sails though his hands, and the General gathers and pops it to Horse who heads off down his wing making good ground before passing inside to Lonie, he's held up so we set then spin wide for the first time, but it goes forward in midfield for a scrum to Woodrush. At which point Barstool comes off seemingly with a golf ball growing out of his knee and Roger comes on at No.8 for his first game in twelve weeks. So the game's first scrum is about five metres outside our twenty two, we get a good shove on but the ball reaches their No.8 and with both of their flankers standing up we get pinged for a binding offence in the front row...go figure.

They opt to kick for touch their fly half putting it out ten metres from our line. Looks a mite crooked but the ref gives them the benefit of the doubt, and their scrum half comes away with it, makes a small break but is tackled eventually by Roger, ball looks to have gone forward but it goes unseen and they spin to their fly half who dummies his inside centre breaks our line and sends a long one out to his wing, who promptly drops it. Scrum Yards, steady ball, General picks up sends it back to Ralph who puts in a good clearance kick the ball going out on our ten metre line. Woodrush put one of their several lightweight ones up and he takes it cleanly and they spin and their winger who's cunningly come in off his wing comes through the middle and it's the General who makes the tackle, but they recycle quickly and go blind. The tackles go in but we're pinged for not rolling away, and again seemingly following Vandals doctrine they kick into the corner. Again lots of movement in the line, the first time this season someone's tried something vaguely different to counter big Phil, they take it cleanly and spin and one of their big units comes through the middle and it's Coatesy who makes the tackle and strips the ball, he passes to the General who finds Nev who clears to touch the ball going out just inside our twenty two.

The Major gets in a great swipe and windmills it straight to the General who finds Coatsey who puts it long into their half, they field and start to bring it back but underestimate Lee's speed as he brings down the ball carrier on the halfway line, and he looks to have turned it over for the second time in succession, but ref decides unfairly and blows again. They go for the corner again the ball going out metres seven or eight from our line, they take cleanly and their scrum half snipes, but he's collared by the General and Chris strips out the ball, passes to the General who finds Coatesy who sends one back even further, the fullback having to play it from his twenty two, he steps Rick and kicks it to Roger who stands it up and waits for his friends to arrive, then we go to ground, penalty advantage as Phil spins it to Smokin', to Ralph, to Horse and he sets off, opens his legs and heads for the corner with space running out he pops it back inside to Smokin' who looks to have gone over, but the ref decides Horse has put a foot in touch and brings us back for the lineout about five metres out.

The ball comes in and Woodrush try to take it off the top, and our back row pour through and they are forced to ground it in goal for an attacking scrum to Yards. The first one goes down, and we have another go (Slow's words to the referee about it not being in our interest to pull it down hopefully ringing in his ears), we turn it slightly Rog picks up and we go blind, offloads to the General, who swiftly passes to Horse and their winger doesn't want to know and Horse goes over in the corner 12-0 Ralph's kick drifts just past the upright.

Big Phil takes the restart amongst a lot of traffic and Chris is first to him, General sends it to Nev who's short pop to Roger is almost intercepted by a Woodrush player, but he knocks it on instead and we get the scrum with Roger's feet on the twenty two. Ref sees something I couldn't and gives a free kick to Woodrush which they take quickly and the General makes the first up tackle, Roger's in there on the deck pinches the ball gets up and sets off and makes ten quick yards before passing to the General who finds Ralph who puts it down the park. One of their centres collects on their ten and again their passing lets them down again as it goes forward in midfield, the ref looks for advantage as Fitz picks up, passes to Smokin' to Nev, to Rick to Coatesy and he comes wide and collides with Horse on the touchline, cue some small amount of amusement between the two top scorers.

They take cleanly at four, as their well drilled technical lineout functions well against our more conventional approach, the ball comes out and their fly half does a step and kicks ahead, Horse collects and kicks to touch. Big Phil does enough to steal their throw and Rick tidies up and we set. The General sends it short and Chris takes it into contact, and we go again this time with Shannon, he makes a yard and we go close a third time this time with the Major. Ball comes safely back, Phil spins to Nev and he goes for the kick pass to Coatesy, but it's a little long and it's fielded by a Woodrush player but his onward pass is forward, so we get the scrum just behind the halfway line. Steady ball, the General ships it out to Nev, dummies Fitz, passes to Smokin', long pass to Coatesy but he's driven into touch.

They throw to two, Rupe tries to turn him but they get it back and it goes to ground and we're penalised for hands in. The fly half kicks for position the ball going out about twelve metres from our line. They shorten the line again, down to four this time and take it cleanly, scrum half puts a flat pass into the bread basket of their big second row, no one picks him up and he goes over for a bit of a soft try two or three metres from the posts 12-5 Simple conversion 12-7.

The General takes Nev's restart, sadly because it's only gone five and we go back for a scrum on halfway, steady ball for Woodrush, scrum half to fly half, miss pass, but the next one sails over the wingers head and he knocks it on as they continue to squander good possession with poor execution. Scrum Yards, the General's almost caught at the base but still manages to get the ball away to Nev, in turn to Tony Fitz who hits the gap, offloads to Smokin', to Ralph, to Horse, big nasty hand off, and literally runs over his own man, before a well timed pass back inside to Smokin' who's tackled but offloads off the deck to Fitzy in support and he crashes over to restore our two try advantage 17-7 Conversion unsuccessful.

One of the Woodrush forwards makes a great catch of his fly half's restart and passes it back, unfortunately though back to Rick who's deemed offside, and they get the penalty. The fly half puts it out ten metres from our line. They go again with the four man, and secure, but it's a wayward pass out and the fly half has to pick up off the deck and go it alone and it's Horse who finally stops him & drops him and the 677 drive over and Chris secures it and passes to BMT, penalty advantage as Woodrush come offside, non gained so Nev gets the opportunity to clear our lines, the ball going out just on our twenty two.

Big Phil takes it at four, but it's not straight and Woodrush opt for the scrum. The ball comes shooting out the back, the Woodrush scrum half manages to get it under control and out to probably their best player at ten (and our Nemesis from Halesonians) who takes it on again, and with the General hareing after him, he opts puts it up but Ralph safely takes the mark. Ralph takes a couple of steps and kicks into touch the ball going out about eight metres from our twenty two.

Another shortened line, five this time and they take cleanly then spin and they're allowed to slip a couple of tackles before they're halted, but they go again fly half, centre and again another loose pass proves their undoing as it goes forward, scrum Yards. Chris Rowe has to admit defeat and limps off and Slow comes onto the flank for the closing minutes of the half. During which time we manage to cough up the ball in midfield and it's fly hacked on by Woodrush, Ralph chases back and drops on it, too heavily as it happened tacking a heavy knock to the hip in the process, the ball squirting free and Woodrush fly hack on again and score under the posts & convert 17-14 With Ralph still prone, Lonie persuades the ref to blow a couple of minutes early. Slow overhears the youngsters make some rash comment about the chronologically challenged thick waisted orphans and blowing out of their ar5es in the second half and Slow muses that we may only have one gear but it does stay the course as many a sprat have found out to their cost.

Halftime 17-14 Isotonics left in my fridge and possibly our closest half time score of the season. Barstool like Lazarus has risen, his swelling subsiding a bit comes back onto the flank, and Slow comes back off.

Our restart is a bit of a low trajectory affair and is allowed to bounce giving us time to arrive on the scene by the time Woodrush get it under control and Bilbo inveigles his way in and we get the scrum as they fail to use it. Roger picks up, goes blind and gives it to Coatesy but the General is unable to take his inside pass and the ball eventually finds its way into touch just on their twenty two. Big Phil takes at four and we drive it on a yard before the General gives a short pop to Barstool on the crash, he's held and Roger's first to him, and we spin again, Phil to Nev, Fitz comes in on the scissors, he offloads inside to big Phil who's tackled but Woodrush are penalised for hands in.

The General takes it quickly, passes to Coatesy who gets almost to their line, he's tackled, ball comes back and it's another penalty for tackler not releasing. We take it quickly and from where I'm standing it looks like Barstool's gone over, but the referee decides it was held up, so we come back for an attacking scrum five metres out. First one goes down, what was that I said about not being in our interest, and we go again, this time Roger picks up and gets almost to the line, ball comes back, Bilbo has a go as ref signals penalty advantage, Rupert's up next he offloads to Coatsey who makes the space, pops it to Fitzy who goes over for his second...and what a great smile 22-14. With Ralph on one leg Nev's steps up but his attempt goes wide, but as our frequent readers know history says that's enough.

Shannon calls for the restart but it overshoots and it's Rick who tidies it up and the green machine gathers round and it trundles forward, Roger extricates their recently arrived humungous prop and as we reach halfway, Bilbo passes to big Phil just as Woodrush have a Squealer of their own and ref goes safety first and blows. After a lengthy break the youngster (they all are to us) is carried off with a twisted knee and the ref restarts the game with a scrum just inside halfway but if I was honest in a better position in midfield. And then a moment of the sublime in a pre-planned move (I kid you not) the General picks up at the base and puts a high kick pass out to Horse on the wing who takes it above his head without breaking his stride, hands his man off once then twice and goes over about ten metres out from the posts 27-14 Nev's conversion narrowly misses. Of all the 206 tries we've scored that has to be way up there..cracking try. Bilbo comes off, and with the wheels of the logistics industry firmly in place Gethin comes on.

Shannon calls for it but Lonie comes away with it, he passes to BMT but he's driven into touch. Woodrush secure their ball with one of those very scientific lineouts, and scrum half comes away with it, sees Barstool looming and kicks it direct into touch. Rick hits Big Phil and we set, the ball safely at the back with Gethin and we drive, but the ref's seen something and awards us a free kick. The General takes it quickly and pops it to Barstool, and he bounces the first one and goes looking for more. He's stopped and goes to ground and the Vandal massive drives over. The Major digs it out passes to Phil who pops to big Phil and he has to go from a standing start so only makes a yard before laying it back. General to Nev going blind to Horse who sets off collecting players on his way, too many as it happens and the ball comes free and one of the players brings it back only to be held up and John with Rupe's help rips the ball free and we start to maul it forward. Rupert has a little bit of afters off the ball as the General finds Nev, who cuts out Fitz and goes straight to Coatesy, who gets caught but puts it back inside to Smokin'. But whistle goes as a punch is thrown followed by some finger pointing but it all comes to nought, and ref restarts the game with a scrum to Yards in midfield. Steady ball sees the ball at Roger's feet, he picks up, pops to Phil, to Nev who chips ahead into touch.

It's a messy line and we get enough hands in to prevent it going anywhere and we get the scrum not far off their ten metre line, the scrum goes down and we get the penalty (maybe he was listening then) and Nev puts it into the corner. It's a great take at four by big Phil but the whistle goes and it's a new one on me, seemingly for crossing in the lineout, Woodrush are awarded a penalty and their accomplished fly half puts in a long kick going out on our ten metre line. Another shortened line with Mark, Rupe, John, big Phil and Rob at tail gunner, and again their complex line functions well and the scrum half sends it out, fly half, centre and Fitz makes a great tackle on his man who's then pinged holding on as big Phil tries to strip him of the ball. Nev makes an equally good touch the ball going out on their twenty two. It's one off the top by big Phil and the General does well to get it under control, before making a great initial break. He's tackled, he lays it back and Roger picks up and goes, good pass out to Nev who dummies Fitz, then Smokin' and spins to Coatesy, who looks for the gap, spots it, then lights up the afterburners and scores under the posts without anybody getting even close and then casually drop kicks his own conversion 34-14

Coatsey then takes the restart and passes inside to Smokin' as we start to put a good series of passes together before we're tackled in centre field. It's looks like they've turned us over on the deck, but we wrench it back just as the whistle goes for Gethin' giving one of their players a slap. They take it quickly and I think it's their fullback who shows plenty of gas and runs across the face of our defence, rounds the corner, straightens up and goes over in the corner for their third try of the afternoon 34-19 Kick unsuccessful.

Nev's restart finds one of the youngsters and big Phil makes the tackle, and holds him up and the Vandal massive closes in on his undeveloped arms, and it's Gethin who comes away with it and passes to Roger who makes good ground up the narrow side before being driven onto touch just outside their twenty two. The throw's not straight so it's a scrum to Yards. Roger picks up makes a yard, offloads to Coatsey who's come off his wing and he gasses the cover to go over in the corner 39-19 Horse has a pot at the posts but his attempt is wide.

Big Phil takes the restart and it goes forward off a Woodrush hand in the following mêlée, for a scrum to Yards. Roger picks up offloads to the General who in turn finds Horse, who puts it back inside to Long John Rollins who goes to ground. BMT picks up and the green machine sets round and moves it on a yard before the General plucks it out spins it to Nev who puts a long one over the top and we chase it down. It's collected and the Woodrush player tries to go through Smokin'...no chance and the ball is knocked forward in the tackle, advantage Yards. Nev scoops it up offloads to Fitz who finds John, but the ref decides to come back for the scrum. Slow engages the parent of the lad who'd obviously upset Gethin in conversation, ever the diplomat. It's a good scrum and the General whips it out, slicks hands finds Coatesy and he goes over for his hat trick 44-19 Kick unsuccessful.

Ralph also has to admit defeat and comes off, Fitz switches to fullback and Slow comes on for the last five or so minutes at inside centre, during which time Coatesy & Horse both go close again each getting held up on the line, but that's the last of the meaningful action as we close the game out.

Final Score (contrary to both Woodrush & the Referees' version but the tape doesn't lie) 44-19 Final age 676 (our fourth highest of the season averaging a shade over 45 and against largely a very young opposition)

A game in which we passed another couple of milestones in 206 tries and 1243 points scored......something special

Some 28 players have now played 10 or more games which has no doubt contributed to the Vandal's strong team ethic (please let me have your votes for Vandal's Vandal if you haven't already asap as I have to book the all expenses paid trip to the World Cup in New Zealand and the name needs to go on the ticket........yerrright!)

Slow

A better performance but another narrow defeat.

Tue, 12 Apr 2011 14:20:53 GMT

First XV

Club coach Gary Robinson (aka Bobo), a loyal club member from junior through the sides to first team captain and then on to Director of coaching and still a valuable player from the bench deserves more credit than our current match results suggest. In his feedback to me a couple of days after the most recent match it is still possible to sense more than a little frustration.

In a home fixture against promoted opponents, Newbold, the Ys held the lead for a considerable part of the game. Another powerful performance from the pack resulted in tries for Billy B, Steve Grainger and that smooth talking prop Peter 'the Fridge' Butler. Max converted two of the tries. It was with only 8 minutes left on the clock that Newbold took the lead but credit to them as their record over the season cannot lie and we wish them well next season. The final score of 19-23 was disappointing but as I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, when we lose it usually is by a narrow margain. Coach Gary has nominated Joseph Patrick as his man of the match. Joe, collect your prize pint from Pete Butler at your earliest opportunity.

Vandals

Old Yardleian history was made in the match against Stourport on saturday with, at one stage, four members of that magnificent rugby family 'the Killarney's playing together for the club. Shannon snr. who took over as chairman of our min/junior section for a 2 year stint and is still in the job 10 years later was joined by his second row brother Andy who is, he claims, younger than Shannon snr, but doesn't really look it. Joining the fun were Shannon's two lads, Callum and Shannon jnr. The only question to ask is, 'where were you Pat?'
The actual game was yet another success for the Vandals against a plucky Stourport but tries flowed with two each from Young Simon and Phil the Horse and one each from Nev, Rick, Rob B, Phil G, Arkell and so he claims Martyn (slow) Cartwright. Ralph got a few kicks over and the final score was 62-5 in our favour. Full report below.

Minis and Juniors

As she who knows best booked a weekend away for us both it meant leaving Dave (Chicken) Hanson to look after the under 15 lads against local rivals Kings Norton. With glorious weather and school holidays the number of players from both teams fell sharply. With a couple of our boys playing for KN on a rota basis, a fast flowing game without flankers meant that speed merchants like Tre'rail were going to flourish and Old Ys went on to win in a high scoring game. Thanks to Ron for bringing his team across to play us.

The under 14s lost to Spartans but Bill and Nigel are pleased by the progress their team has made considering it is their first season playing together.

Weekend of April 16/17

At present, the fixtures are as follows

First XV     v      Old Leams     away (league)

Development XV    v    Alcester   (home)

Vandals XV      v Claverdon    (away)

Under 14s v Aston Old Eds    (away)

Under 15    v Lichfield

Old Yards Vandals vs. Stourport 2nds - Sat. 9th April full report.

With the current trend of opposition crying off and Droitwich doing the double for the season, closely followed by Griffinians Tom had to cast his net a little further afield for willing (or unknowing) opposition finally enticing Stourport 2nds of Midlands 5 West (North) to make the journey to Fortress Tilehouse.

Firstly a big thanks to Mark Baldwin for agreeing to referee the game.

In the trenches this week Shannon "Steps" Killarney at loosehead, Rick "Swing" Lowe at hooker, and Bill "Bilbo" Burrows at tighthead, in the boiler room John "Fingers" Lonie and Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn with tackle twins Marcus "Shark" Hope and Nick "the Assassin" Levey on the flanks with Rupert "the Major" Young returning at No.8.

Amongst the Gods Iain "Johnno" Johnson back from the piste alongside Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, the versatile Rob "Barstool" Bastock partnering Simon "Slippery" Singleton in midfield, with wings Chris "Crash" Rowe and Phil "Horse" Watson and Dave "Ralph" Rollins making up the beds.

A very large bench at our disposal this week, with a trio of Killarneys Andy, Callum & Shannon Jr, Gary "Smokin" Williams, Alan "the Colt" Arkell, Dave "Chicken" Hanson, Tom "Pickle" Mead , Billy "Wishbone" Hendon & Captain Slow

Stunt skipper Lonie keeping up his recent run of success wins the toss and following Slow's shrewd advice opted to play towards the beer in the second half.

Shannon takes the kick off and the 677 gather round and we roll it forward, we approach our ten metre line and Bilbo takes us left and we keep going gathering Stourport moss, before Johnno sends it out and Barstool comes immediately on the crash ball and runs straight through the first couple of tackles, just about survives a tap tackle, but eventually has to stand it up as he's left everybody behind. He goes to ground and we drive over but we're pinged for hanging on to it. Stourport opt to kick and rightly so as the ball goes out a couple of metres in front of our twenty two. The throw comes in and the Major makes sufficient contact with it for us to steal and we roll it forward a yard before Johnno sends it out to Nev who cuts out Barstool to Symes to Ralph in the line, he takes it into contact and big Phil's to him, and then the rest of the big lads join in but we nudge it forward and Stourport reply in kind and we go back for the first knock on. Not the straightest of put ins but they get away with it and we put the wheel on but they survive and spin it through the hands out to the wing where Chris makes the tackle. Barstool's too him and he comes away with it and we set, then roll.

The ball comes out and Nev chips over, and the a Stourport player knocks it on as he attempts to pick it up and we get the scrum. Steady ball Johnno to Nev, he dummies Barstool and passes to Ralph who finds Crash who takes it on and goes to ground, the Assassin's to him first and we spin again, Nev to Shannon who's on his own so he sends a long pass out to Horse who sets off and hands off the first one, but the ball spills forward and Stourport get the scrum. We get the shove on a bit too early and Mark has a word. We have another go and try to turn them and Johnno harries his man as he goes to pick up and ball goes backwards, it's picked up but the Assassin has him and BMT tidies it up and plays it and the Major takes it on. We're ten metres or so from the Stourport line, but the pass that comes out misses everybody and it's Ralph who finally collects it and pops it to Nev, to Horse to Symes but the onward pass goes between Chris' hands and Stourport recover but are driven into touch.

Stourport don't compete at the line but Rick's throw is not straight and they get the scrum. Rick makes up for his curve ball as he takes one against the head and Rupe picks up but he's tackled, turned over and the Stourport scrum half obligingly kicks it into Horse's hands and he sets off breaking through the first tackle then after acumulating a couple of Stourport players he offloads to Rick but it goes to ground, and Barstool picks it up and finds Johnno who looks for the gap; he finds Marcus who takes it into contact, we recycle Johnno finds Ralph on the narrow side and then in the game's comic moment Ralph kicks ahead and the ball ricochets back off a Stourport player which in turn ricochets back off Ralph and with the line begging Ralph simply can't pick the blessed thing up despite having three goes at it, Slow cracks up and Stourport get the put in about ten metres from their goal line.

At the scrum Johnno is pinged for offside and Stourport clear their lines the ball going out just on halfway. The throw's knocked on by Stourport in the line and Big Phil pinches it and Nick Levey tidies up, but Mark decides no real advantage is gained and we get the scrum. Johnno's caught at the base and it's nudged forward and Stourport get the scrum. But again we drive them off it and Rupe picks up and feeds Johnno, to Nev who weaves his way to the gain line before passing back inside to Nick who in turn finds Marcus who's held up and Rupe and Nick clear it out, Rick takes it close, and then Johnno comes away with it, dummies Barstool and passes to Symes who brings it all the way back the long way before spotting the gap, cutting through and going over under the posts for the afternoon's first score 5-0. Simple matter for Ralph 7-0.

The restart, being kind, only goes about five metres, and we come back for the scrum, steady ball and Johnno sets off and passes to Barstool but the ball cannons off Rob's manly chest so we have another scrum moreorless back on the halfway line. We innocently wheel the scrum and it goes 180 and we have another one, this time the Major picks & goes, he breaks through the first tackle and Marcus is first to him and we all set round and drive them on a few more yards the ball safely at the with Rick, before Johnno sends it out to Nev, who's onward pass goes through Barstool's hands but backwards but it's swept up by Ralph. He has to stand it up and wait for the green machine to gather round, the Assassin digs it out and passes to Lonie. Johnno opts for the short pop to Barstool who bulldozes his way through three or four before offloading to big Phil, then Rupe has a go and takes it into contact as Mark signals penalty advantage. Slippery steps in at scrum half and sends it out, dummy shout by Shark, ball finds Ralph, he passes to Chris on the wing who makes good ground, Mark deems advantage over just as the ball finds its way into touch for a lineout to Stourport.

It's not straight, but Mark plays good advantage as it goes loose and Nick pounces on it and flips it up off the deck to BMT but he knocks on, Mark again playing advantage allows Stour to try and counterattack but the ball carrier is halted in his tracks by a big hit from Barstool, and we come back for the knock on a metre inside their twenty two. Rick pinches it and Rupe picks up, he offloads to Johnno, who finds Nev who looks at first to stand it up, then decides to go looking for friends, sells a couple of dummies, keeps going and scores a great individual try in the corner 12-0.

It's a long deep restart and it's Johnno who collects in our twenty two and passes to Ralph who puts in a great kick to touch the ball going out on the halfway line. Shark does enough to deflect the Stourport throw and Johnno spins it to Nev, dummy scissors on Barstool, and pass finds Simon, to Ralph to Crash who takes it at pace and makes ten metres before being driven into touch.
It's another great steal by Marcus and Rick pounces on the tap down and Stourport pounce on him, but we manage to get the ball back and It's Shark who eventually comes away with it, dummies the Assassin, puts in a couple of those effective hand offs before giving Nick a real pass who in turn finds the Major, the back row working well. Rupe takes it into contact and having outrun the support we hang on to it a little too long and Sir blows for not releasing. Stourport kick to touch, the ball going out between the ten and halfway line.

It's a long throw and Nick does enough to put their No.8 off and Johnno picks up and distributes, Barstool taking the crash ball and Nick's to him but the ball comes loose and a Stourport forward fly hacks it forward and Slippery picks up,kicks ahead and gives chase, the ball landing in their twenty two and rolls towards their line. Their fullback is forced to play it as Simon shadows him and he's forced to kick short as a result the ball going out just inside their twenty two. Shark takes at two but Sir blows for not straight and Stour get the put in, but fortune smiles as the Stourport scrum forgets to take the ball with him and knocks on at the base. Scrum Yards, the Major picks up but Stourport have come round offside, penalty Yards. Johnno takes it quickly, to Nev to Ralph, long pass to Horse who cuts back inside and nobody wants to know as he goes over under the posts 17-0 Easy one for Ralph 19-0.

The restart evades every body's attention drops finally into the twenty two and it's left to Horse to take responsibility and he wellies it into touch for a lineout to Stourport. Rupert manages to get his hands in and disrupts the Stour throw and BMT jumps on the loose ball, but whistle goes Sir deciding it's gone marginally forward off the Major. Scrum Stourport, we put the wheel on, but the scrum half picks up, comes blind and chips straight into touch, lineout Yards. Nick Levey ends up with the ball at the lineout, and the Major digs it out, Johnno calls "chaos" and Bilbo takes it blind, offloads to Shannon who takes it into contact, Johnno calls "chaos" again and Rick has a go next and he goes to ground, big Phil makes the bridge, Johnno sends it out to Nev who pops it to Nev on the inside pass and breaks into open field, he finds Barstool who passes to Lonie in support, he crosses the twenty two, looks for someone to pass to finds Slippery who takes a great catch (or does that say something about John's pass) and Symes burns the remains of the cover to score his second 24-0 Ralph adds the extra points 26-0 and the stats say game over as we pass the magic 22.

Big Phil takes the restart, and offloads in the tackle to Swing, he takes it on a yard before going to ground and Stourport are penalised for coming over the top. We try to take it quickly but Sir's having none of it so Nev opts to clear but his kick doesn't make touch instead it stands up nicely on the hard ground and the Stourport fullback collects and kicks for touch but takes a deflection off big Phil's hands on the way out, the ball finally going out just inside their ten metre line. Marcus takes their ball almost as if it was thrown to him and we set, Johnno calls "chaos" and we go tight, first up is the Major, then Rick as we attempt to soften up the fringes but Sir decides that Swing's hung onto the ball a little too long and blows, the Stourport scrum half, probably their best player certainly their most lively takes it quickly goes inside then outside doing a number on the first two would be tacklers and heads off towards the corner where finds one of his wingers in support and he goes over wide out to open their account 26-5 conversion missed and with a couple of minutes to go that's the last of the half's meaningful action.

Halftime 26-5 Not much to say all going according to plan. The Assassin struggling with his knee comes off, Crash nursing his Achilles rather reluctantly moves onto the flank and newly arrived Smokin' goes onto the wing.
It's a clean catch by Stourport and they set but their attempted kick for position cannons off Nev, and Shark chases down the loose ball, snaffles it up and offloads it to Barstool at pace who finds Rick in support and Swing goes over to score our season's fastest try from a kick off as I made it 15 seconds from start to finish!!(I kid you not) 31-5 Ralph converts to increase our lead to 33-5 if only we could do that sort of thing from the start. Crash has to admit defeat and comes off and Shannon Jr replaces him on the flank.

The Stepmeister takes the restart catch and sets off into traffic, and we set, Johnno to Nev who puts one over the top and into touch for a lineout to Stourport. It's a long over the top, but Gethin adjudges it's not straight and we get the scrum. But they take one against the head (did they?) and their No.8 picks up and goes but he's felled by Shark and the ball comes free and we turn it back over, Smokin' gathers and sends a long one out to Ralph who's perfectly timed pass finds Slippery who sets the Horse free, he burns the first would be defender, then a second and heads for the line and goes over for his second of the day 38-5 Ralph's conversion is unsuccessful.

At which point the Colt Arkell comes for the Major, Wishbone for Bilbo and Killarney No.3 Callum for Johnno.

It's a big shout from Shannon the Younger at the restart not realising that it's his dad's job so he defers to Shannon the elder, who offloads to the Colt who makes great ground before popping it to BMT, he makes another few yards before we set, Callum finds Nev who chips ahead the ball going out just outside the Stourport twenty two. They secure good ball and spin, the fly half takes it on a yard before passing to their tall centre, but he's hunted down by Slippery and Horse strips him of the ball and flips it off the deck to Simon who finds Barstool who goes route one, he's finally held up about six or seven metres out, and Callum whips it out to Arkell who bludgeons his way over...now that's what you call an impact substitution 43-5. Kick unsuccessful.

Slippery comes off obviously saving himself for his upcoming holiday and Smoking moves to centre, Chicken replaces him on the wing and Horse canters off and Sapper Pickle comes on.

Shannon Sr takes the restart catch and Callum sends it out to Nev and he puts a good one over the top and Chicken gives chase, it's a real worker and the full back has no option but to clear to touch. Big Phil takes the catch at the second attempt and the green machine mauls it forward the ball secure in Rick's sweaty palms, Callum decides to call a halt to proceedings and sends out a long one, so long it flies past Nev and bounces past Barstool and it's left to Smokin' to tidy it up along with a couple of defenders. We set but we fanny about a little too long and the ball goes to ground and a Stourport boot hoofs it forward and Pickle has to cover back and put it into touch.

Both catchers are up nice and early first Stourport then Shark so we have another go, ball sails long and the No.8 takes the catch and he's dumped by Shannon Jr. They manage to retain possession and their scrum half sends it out to the fly half who's miss pass finds the outside centre who in turn finds his winger and again Shannon Jr makes the tackle and we turn it over, brother Callum finds Ralph who finds Nev who kicks to clear just inside our twenty two. The Stourport jumper's up at least an hour early and Gethin's whistle goes, Shark's first to the ball and follows Mark to the spot to take it quickly but Nev takes it in the end and puts a high one up Shannon Jr's under it first but it's a tricky bounce inside the Stourport ten and it ricochets off his head and Stourport try to mount an attack but Barstool makes the tackle and strips it and passes to Billy Hendon who finds Callum and the ball comes wide to Arkell who grubbers ahead (apparently expecting Chicken to run onto it) and the ball goes out just outside the Stour twenty two. Then history is made as Andy Killarney comes on for John Lonie and all four of the Killarney rugby dynasty are on together.

We fluff our lines and the ball goes forward at the subsequent lineout, Gethin plays advantage and Stourport promptly kick it away Ralph leaves it to Smokin' and Gary lets him have the pass instead Ralph kicks but it's charged down but Pickle collects the ricochet and takes it into contact and then to ground and Big Phil takes it on next; he's tackled and Andy clears the way for nephew Callum to pop it to Barstool who finds Chicken looking for trade. He's tackled and we recycle Callum brings it out wide looking for his strike runners but finds Rick instead and he takes it into contact, we set and Callum spins it out again to Nev to Shannon Sr, to Chicken back inside to Wishbone, but it's forward and whistle goes but Gethin's slyly being playing advantage for a Stourport offside. Nev takes it quickly but a touch too quickly for Sir and we have to have another go, Nev looks to kick but pops it to the Colt who boshes through a couple and gets almost to the line, Rick picks up and has a go himself (now suffering from white line fever) and he's tackled and Sir deems he's not releasing and is pinged.

Stourport clear to touch the ball going out between their twenty two and ten metre line; they throw long and their nippy scrum half comes away with it and goes, evading Pickle's less than convincing tackle and heads for the corner and it's left to Chicken to head him off at the pass and in doing so saving a certain try, and for Ralph to clear to touch. Big Phil pinches their ball and breaks through their lineout and makes ten yards, fifteen, twenty keeping them long legs pumping, he passes to Shannon Jr and we set. Callum zips it to Nev, to Marcus back to Callum, back to Nev who chips it over the top the ball going out between the Stourport ten and twenty two.

The throws not straight and we get the scrum with thirteen minutes to play, steady ball Callum to Nev and he brings Rob in on the scissors and boshes his way straight through and scores under the posts 48-5 Ralph converts and we pass the fifty mark for the eighth time this season
50-5.

Ball goes over the heads of the elder Killarney brothers and we have to set just on our twenty two and Callum sends it out to Nev, to Barstool to Smokin' to Chicken and he sets off, burns his man, then puts it back inside to Smokin' who has to stand it up, he keeps the legs pumping and waits for help to arrive, first is Shannon Jr, he takes it on a yard then goes to ground. Callum out to Nev, dummy Barstool pops it to Shark but it goes forward in the tackle, scrum to Stourport, ten minutes to go. Looks a bit crooked but Sir's feeling generous, scrum half picks up looks to go one way has to come back the other and finds his fly half, he puts a long loopy miss pass out to his winger who gets Smokin' too, Gary turns him then strips him, pops it to Barstool who finds young Shannon and we set again. Brother Callum spins it out to Nev over the the top of their loitering No.8 to Chicken to Ralph to Shannon, back to Chicken as we start to play a bit of sevens keeping the ball alive, but finally we knock it on for a scrum to Stourport.

Slow swaps places with Shark for the final 7 or 8 minutes, time enough to pinch the ball off Andy K at a maul about five metres out from the Stourport line and to rather theatrically dive over for his maiden try of the season 55-5 Ralph steps up and slots his sixth conversion of the afternoon 57-5.

Big Phil scores our final & tenth try of the afternoon after a bit of solo magic from Smokin' who sidesteps and burns his way to within inches of the line only to get held up but is able to offload in the tackle to BMT to topple over like the big Redwood he is 62-5 Kick is unsuccessful and Mark brings proceedings to a close.

Final Score 62-5 Final Age a youthful 602 (still over forty even with Pickle, Shannon Jr & Callum)

Man in the dirtiest shirt goes to Nev for a consumate display of the fly half's dark arts.

Our ten try haul bringing us our 27th victory of the season and puts us within touching distance of two hundred tries and 1200 points.

Good to see Squealer on the sideline especially given the serious nature of his injury.

This week on the menu with Claverdon going the way of Warley, Eds, Droitwich, Exiles & Griffinians will be Woodrush 2nds at Woodrush.

Slow

Games this weekend (April 9/10)

Thu, 07 Apr 2011 12:19:44 GMT

The sunshine has driven my reporters to alternative activities, probably of a liquid type so for the time being I will bring you news of the coming weekend games.

First XV   v   Newbold   at home in what is looking like a crucial league game for both clubs.

Development XV    v Droitwich    away

Vandals XV     v      Stourport 2nd XV     home

Sunday Mini/Junior so far

Under 14 v   Spartans    home

but I am still waitng for confirmation from other clubs of matches. Watch this space!

News arrives !!

Under 15

In no way due to admin errors, the under 15s decided to play a triangular fixture on sunday.
The quality of the matches and the enthusiasm of the teams was good to see.
A narrow defeat against Spartans was followed by another close game in which we beat a plucky Kings Norton

Use of statistics (I should have been a politician !!)

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 14:46:51 GMT

As our 757 flew homewards from some windy islands 60 miles off the coast of Africa,at 36,000 feet or whatever the pilot might have told us, I must have had a content smile on my face because she who is beautiful and must be obeyed asked me the predictable question 'what are you thinking about?' and for once in my married life an answer containing some elements of truth were to follow. I replied to the often suspicious one, 'Our first team were playing Kings Norton in a league match and I bet that we lost by just a couple of points.' My answer did the trick as she returned to her book. On arrival in the cold-air of Shirley I went straight to the RFU results web site and lo and behold, KN 14 Old Ys 12. I said to the 'knowledgable one' that I was correct with my forecast and she immediately checked to see if this was a regular thing or an unusual happening.
She said that she had analysed our league results and discovered that of our 19 league matches to date, that we had lost 11. Of these defeats 8 were by the margain of 6 points or less and that of these 8 setbacks 5 of them were by 3 points or less.If we had won the games with a 3 points or smaller loss, we would not be dropping down into the relegation zone but would be in 3rd position in the league.

So, what am I thinking? How is it that when games are won or lost by such small margains that we always seem to be the losers? Answers written on a five pound note to be sent to my missus or, better still, to me.
Seriously, is there a common reason? Suggestions from the touchline include missing kicks at goal, failure to convert pressure into points, giving away penalties in kickable positions, upsetting refs by too much backchat and that old favourite, running out of gas in the last 15-20 mins. I am not suggesting that any individual reason is the only answer, but boys, it is not my imagination, these facts are reality and need urgent attention.

If you want a match report have a look at The Redditch Observer or the Kings Norton website.

Development XV

Played and defeated Harborne 2nd XV by 22-14. Well done to Steve Painter (Dip FD) still playing with no worries about getting to the game as he is able to use his free bus pass

Vandals

No game as Eds couldn't get a second team out.
Good luck to the lads on a mini tour to Bath this weekend to play Oldfield Old Boys.

If only games were won on penalties given away!

Tue, 22 Mar 2011 11:23:08 GMT

First XV

Although I was lucky enough to be away for the weekend, my 'spy on the touchline' informs me that it was not an impressive performance. We did score the only try, and an impressive try it was, but 3 kicks from the Southam visitors was sufficient to give them a 9-5 victory. Without needing to go into detail, a penalty count of 30 conceded by Ys to only 6 by Southam should point to reasons for our downfall.

Vandals XV

Our 'mature' gentlemen travelled to Bournville, a club that has made huge progress in recent years. A reinforced home side provided our biggest test to date with the Ys twice falling behind before the familiar tale of victory could be told.
There might well be a link between success on the pitch and attending club functions on the night before. Celebrating the feast of St Patrick I noticed were President Sid and Mini/Junior Chairman Shannon and, guess what, they both scored tries against Bournville. Other try scorers were Iestyn Baldwin and Young Simon with two. Ralphy got a couple of kicks to make the final score 29-21 in favour of the Ys.

Minis and Juniors

With a number of regular players missing, the under 15s took on Birmingham Exiles in an entertaining match. Credit must be given to the referee from the North Midlands Society, Mr D. Collingwood, for allowing the game to flow. End to end rugby kept the crowd on their toes and a late score by the visitors enabled them to sneak a win by 21-15. Well done both teams.

Fixtures

Saturday 26th March

First XV     v    Kings Norton   (away) League
Development XV    v   Kings Norton 2s (Home)
Vandals        v   Edwardian's     (Home)

Sunday 27th March

Under7/8      v   Woodrush    (home)
Under9/10    v   Woodrush     (home)
Under 15      v   Woodrush     (home)

Don't forget to put your clocks forwards.

Social Life at the Old Ys

A massive thanks to Sharon, Pat and Shannon for organising the St Patrick's Day do at the club. As is tradition with anything Irish (and most things Old Yardleian), it starts slowly / late and then picks up nicely. Jackie J. and Anne a good display of Irish Dancing, Luke amazing cabaret, and I suspect that there is a taxi driver somewhere wearing a silly Guiness hat!

Basic errors cost us the game

Fri, 18 Mar 2011 11:51:08 GMT

First XV

Disappointingly, we lost to a try in the 45th minute of the second half but we cannot really offer excuses as we should have sown the game up much earlier. There were moments of excellent individual play, particularly from Steve Grainger and Ben Honey in the back row but the general feeling from the crowd (well Myself, Andy and a couple of blokes from Ambridge, or was it Harbury), was that the visitors wanted the win more than us. The Harbury website makes interesting reading.

On the day our first line tackling was not effective enough to halt their momentum and the kicking from hand was often without direction. If we adopt the kick and chase tactic then, to be honest, somebody should do a bit of chasing. My last observation is about goal kicking. We seem to kick some from the touchline but struggle with the simpler attempts which in this game cost us dearly.. Now, as a one-time goalkicker myself, a couple of cliches spring to mind as we all agree that it can be a pressure situation so yes it can be 'a hero or villain' moment but to make it easier my other suggestion is along the lines of 'practice makes perfect' Lecture over.

This saturday sees the return visit of Southam for a home league match. Brian, please make sure that the undersoil heating is turned on before you go home.

Development XV

We think that the vapours from low-flying aircraft got the lads in their game at Exiles. When the skipper recovers there will hopefully be some match details but all the news we have so far tells of an epic 5-5 draw.

Vandals XV

In honour of club president Sid reaching bus-pass age, the team travelled to one of his favourite clubs, (no not lap dancing clubs) but Tamworth rfc. No change to the pattern produced so far this season as tries came from Horse x3, Slippery Simon x2 and one each for Big Rob, Chris and Ralph who also got some kicks over. Final score 49-3 to Old Ys

Minis and Juniors

Another good weekend for our youngsters and their coaches/managers.

The very little ones, under 7s went to Bromsgrove and won one and drew two of their three games.

The under 9s hosted Wednesbury and won a close fought encounter by 4 -3 tries.

The under 13/14s continued to improve and beat Kings Norton convincingly. Team Manager Nigel Walker tells me that their style of flowing rugby reminds him of his own days as a player. Can any of his contemporaries support this claim? (only joking Nigel keep up the good work)

The under15s visited Alcester (pronounce it how you want) and played in a triangular against the home team and against Cheltenham. Excellent team spirit combined with determination saw us give the lads from Gloucestershire a run for their money before losing narrowly. In our second match we played well again and defeated the home club.
This sunday the under 15s are at home to Exiles with an 11.00 kick off.

My kicking tee

Sadly my need for a bright red lump of plastic which, as we all know, can win or lose matches has diminished and so it has been given a new home. There were many of our players considered to be in need including half the first team, many of the Dev. boys as well as Ralph and Nev from the vandals, although it tends to not matter so much for them. However, on sunday down at Alcester it was presented to under 15s outside half Jack Molloy (famous for his helicopter ride) who went on to succeed with every kick at goal. George, his dad, has promised to bring it to every game and let's hope that it does the trick!

Have boots will travel

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 12:19:35 GMT

Development XV

Unfortunately our scheduled opponents called the game off too late for us to find a suitable pool fixture. When I worked out that there was no home game to watch I decided to get on my bike and pedal down to the Eds on Streetsbrook Road to see how good they really were. Well, to be honest, the quality of opposition made it difficult to assess the Eds first team who won without having to break sweat. Anyway, good luck on your cup run with Twickers now well within sight.

While I was there my curiosity took me to the swap-like far pitch where Eds 2s were playing host to Camp Hill. As I looked closely I noticed our Development XVs leader Luke playing for the Eds. Apparently they were a little light on players so well done Luke for being a good neighbour. Looking even more closely I then spotted 'play anywhere' Greg in an Eds shirt, Adam Walker, Chris Rhodes, Egg and Steve Cunningham with his dog. Now, here comes a coaching point for the Eds number 10, if every time you make a break you lose possesion and if you have got better or faster players outside you, then give them the ball. It ain't rocket science!

First XV

Travelling to Evesham for the return league fixture against a decent team but a team that we beat comfortably at home, our performance was very disappointing. In the view of one of our more experienced players 'we didn't turn up'. I think he means that our reading of the game was below-par. The league table looks less than satisfactory and we really do need a strong performance next saturday against lowly Harbury.

Minis and Juniors

Sunday 13 March

Under 7 v Bromsgrove   away
Under 8     Ashby Festival
Under 9/10 v Wednesbury   home
Under 14     v Kings Norton away
Under 15   v Alcester v Cheltenham   at Alcester in a 3 - way contest first game at 10.30 and the host club putting on a feast after the game (don't tell Fridge!).
Alcester 's club is located on, Birmingham Road, Kings Coughton, Alcester, B49 5QF and we need you to get there in good time please

Social events

St Patricks +1 at the club.
A brilliant laugh (watch Brian perform an Irish dance), a quality Irish band, and for more information just look on the home page of this website.

Friends of The Old Yards

As I mentioned earlier I called in at the Eds on saturday and when I got to the second team game bumped into some regular villains. Jan Ogan, Cleggy, Steve Jacks, Horse and Tall Bloke who can't catch. When I asked why they weren't playing they started with the usual tosh about injuries but eventually the truth came out. Their Captain thought the lads from the Old Ys who had their came called off might be better players than them. Harsh but probably true to an extent. My memory might play tricks but I do recall most of these guys playing for the Ys at some time or another. Boys, you are not that bad. Buy your Captain/Coach some beer, turn up training and who knows what might happen?

Oldfield Old Boys 3rds vs. Vandals - Mini Tour match report 2nd April

Saturday 2nd April 2011 found us on our season's second "mini tour" down in the picturesque city of Bath to play Oldfield Old Boys 3rds, a Level 7 club whose first team ply their trade in the Southern Counties South, South West Division where they currently lie second in the table (we being Level 8 should you be wondering).

With a few of the usual subjects missing, Nev living it up in Las Vegas, the General being down a manhole, Ralph nursing his rubber band, Mike similarly his ankle and Johnno on the Piste this meant a slightly rejigged starting fifteen, with a debut handed to "young" Lee Purdy and a return to action for the experienced trio of Chicken, Bobo & Fridge.

So starting in harness this week Shannon "Steps" Killarney at loosehead, tour virgin (so I'm told) Rick "Swing" Lowe at hooker, and Mark "Gethin" Baldwin at tighthead, in the boiler room John "Fingers" Lonie and Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn with tackle twins Marcus "Shark" Hope and Nick "the Assassin" Levey on the flanks with the ever eloquent "you're a f**ing prick you are" Rob "Barstool" Bastock starting at No.8.

In the attendants Lee "Purds" Purdy at scrum half alongside Gary "Smokin'" Williams at fly half, Nick "Barrel" Palmer partnering Simon "Slippery" Singleton in midfield, wings Dave "Chicken" Hanson and Welsh Ryder Cup legend Chris "Crash" Rowe and Sean "Squealer" Byrne at fullback .

A colossal bench then with Bill "Bilbo" Burrows, club coach Gary "Bobo" Robinson, Pete "Fridge" Butler and bringing up last night's chips Captain Slow, together with the Vandals own sports psychologist and Bob's mate Cedric and team paparazzi Ali "Spasm" Gouldbourn.
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Unlike Lymington thanks to Bath's excellent taxi service we arrived on time and in good order and were able to enjoy Oldfield's plush surroundings and unseasonal sunshine before getting down to the task in hand. As we took to the very large pitch the rocket scientists amongst us quickly noticed that probably two thirds of the opposition were old enough to be love children and that the wide open expanses of North East Somerset were going to be more of an advantage to their younger legs.

A small slope on the pitch however marginal made it an important toss then for stunt captain Lonie to win and he duly obliged opting to receive and play up the slope in the first half.

A fairly forgettable error strewn first half I think we'll all admit where we were simply unable to get into our stride or able to string any meaningful phases of play together, so I don't propose to go over it in detail. Some fairly generous refereeing (a former Oldfield player in only his seventh game incidentally) allowed the opposition youngsters to live predominantly offside throughout the first half stifling our creative department, who were unable to manufacture any real space in the midfield or out on the flanks, and compelling us to force the play more often than not.

Oldfield were first to open the scoring after about five minutes; Oldfield having being awarded a scrum Rick and the boys took it against the head, Purds sets off from the base, spins to Smokin' who passes to Barrel who takes it off his toenails but is enveloped before he can really gain control of it (that would be offside then) and he's turned over and Chicken has to make the first up tackle but is unable to stop the pass getting away to their tricky little winger and it's Barrel who makes the next hit. They recycle quickly and spin, their young three quarters running largely at our forwards, Barstool & Smokin' make the next two tackles but Oldfield keep it alive and come left and their centre carves through our defence with a well taken cut back to go over close to the posts 0-5. Oldfield convert the simple kick to increase their lead 0-7 and they don't look bad for it either in fairness and are probably justified in thinking they are going to score a boatload in the Spring sunshine.

But as our regular readers know the Vandals don't ever roll over but it takes the best part of another gruelling thirty minutes of stop start rugby before we open our account. Following a knock on Oldfield were awarded a defensive scrum a few metres from their line, Steps & Gethin put on the squeeze (not sure who was up against the 61 year old) and the pip squirts out the side and the Assassin's on it like a flash, the ball comes back to big Phil and we secure it and drive it forward Vandal style, Chicken giving plenty of technical advice on body positions as we roll towards the posts. Eventually Swing breaks off with it and takes it into contact and we clear them out, Purds whips it out to Smokin' who's been setting up their defence with dummy scissors after dummy scissors and he finally unleashes the Barrel on a real one and he cleaves his way through the defence to score virtually untouched under the under the posts 5-7 Smokin's conversion attempt agonisingly comes back off the crossbar.

Barstool catches the restart and sets off in typically robust style making some good yards before he's stopped, the 677 gather round and the ball comes back cleanly to Purds who ships it to Smokin' who rifles a long one up field.The ball sits up nicely for the Oldfield fullback who collects and bangs it up end over end down the park where Nick Levey clears up the loose ball. In the resulting mêlée the ball goes forward off an Oldfield hand and we are awarded the scrum just inside our half. Our Eight now beginning to exert some muscle secure steady ball for Purds who spots a gap behind their midfield and chips over the top, the ball bisecting their winger and fullback and he has the gas to collect his own kick to go over to score 10-7. Gary's conversion goes just wide, Oldfield look a bit nonplussed at their sudden reversal in fortunes and the ref's whistle goes to bring the first half to a close.

Halftime 10-7 A forthright halftime chat where we highlight the areas where things are going wrong, but realising that despite this, we are in the driving seat, and history shows like a good port we only get better....especially downhill. In international style fresh legs come in the front row in the form of Bilbo & Fridge for hardworking Shannon & Mark.

It's only a few minutes after the restart that we increase our lead further following a penalty for an Oldfield player not releasing the ball from the tackle; Smokin' puts the ball out on their twenty two. Big Phil takes a messy ball at four and we set then drive, the ball safely in the clutches of Rick in the van. We're held up and Purds spins it out to Smokin' who looks over his shoulder for Barstool, but he's gone the other way so settles with an offload to Fridge instead who takes it into contact and we set. Purds makes the initial break, is tackled and we drive over and Barstool picks up and goes. He's held up, the ball comes back and Bilbo has a trundle, then Rick has a go as we start to soften them up a bit, but Purds sees a gap and he's gone, scoring between the sticks 15-7. Gary makes no mistake 17-7.

This third unanswered try finally spurs Oldfield into action and a few minutes, a poor clearance kick and a couple of forward passes later they go over for an unconverted try 17-12. Slow snarls on the touchline.

Smokin's restart gets held up in the wind and we go back for a scrum on the halfway line, but the replacement Oldfield scrum half is pinged for feeding and we get the free kick. Purds takes it quickly, passes to Smokin' who kicks ahead into space, it's gathered by Slippery who offloads to Fridge in support as we cross their twenty two, he in turn pops it to the Assassin and a great run sees him get to within seven or eight metres of their line before he's finally held up. We set and Lee sends it out to Smokin' who has to take man and ball (that would be offside again) he stands it up and the 677 pile in and drive it on, we can see the line as the ball comes out to Symes who scythes his way through the defence to score our fourth 22-12. Kick unsuccessful, but it's still a two score lead. Nick Levey comes off, Barstool moves onto the flank and Bobo comes on at No.8.

Big Phil takes the restart and we set and we seem to take an age to present it to Purds, who sends it out to Smokin', he steps his man and chips ahead, Chicken's onto it and pops it up to Fridge who sets off for glory and gets to within five metres of the line before he's stopped and we set, Barrel's in there first he passes to Chicken who pops it to Bobo who takes it on the crash and gets almost to the line. We set and are teeing up the pass to Fridge when Oldfield aggressively counter-ruck and turn us over and to add insult to injury the ref gives them a penalty, which they take quickly whilst the referee is still engaging us in conversation and try to play their way out of their twenty two. Barstool makes a great tackle, but they manage to offload and give it some width but Chicken drives his opposite number into touch for a Yards lineout between the ten and the twenty two as a small scuffle breaks out and Barstool's vents his spleen with some choice Anglo-Saxon and the referee decides to call the captains together for a chat.

The ball goes loose at the tail of the line and is knocked forward for a scrum to Oldfield, and our Eight promptly drive them off it and Barstool picks up and goes and we start to string some good phases together using our big lads as Oldfield's younger forwards start to struggle with our old fashioned physicality and rolling maul as Bobo, Lonie, Fridge & Bilbo each take turns in grinding out the hard yards but it's big Phil who's finally driven into touch well inside their twenty two. They throw long and after a couple of attempts Rob comes down with it and we secure and the green machine moves forward again, then Bobo goes blind finds Fridge who's unstoppable from this range and he goes over in the corner for a great forward try 27-12. Kick unsuccessful but game in the bag.

Oldfield switch the kick at the restart but Crash takes it cleanly over on the far side and runs it back to the halfway line where he is driven into touch. Shark gets a hand to the Oldfield throw and Swing tidies up the knock down and off we go the fat boys working in concert, with Bilbo at the back, but Purds decides he's had enough and he sends it out to Smokin', to Barrel who knocks it on, ref plays advantage but none comes so scrum to Oldfield. Bobo pauses to stretch off those hamstrings. Ball comes in and straight out the other side and Shark picks up and goes but the ref decides to have another go. We try to unintentionally wheel the scrum, but they manage to get it away and Slippery makes the tackle; they recycle and go again and Barrel makes the next one and it's adjudged to have gone forward off Nick, for another scrum to Oldfield.

Our weight advantage beginning to tell as we take another against the head and Bobo picks and goes and bulldozes his way through the first couple, unloads to Shark in support, he pops to BMT who takes it on another couple of yards before we set. Purds peels before sending it out to Smokin', to Barrel, to Slippery, he ducks under the first tackle and goes, before sending a bit of bouncing bomb out to Sean who opts to fly hack it ahead. Oldfield collect and try to run it back out and Barrel makes the first tackle, they recycle and punt it forward and Crash gives chase. He picks up reverses course and goes through two or three tackles before he's finally stopped, and we set, ball comes out to Barrel who bundles a couple over before passing to Chicken but Swing makes the interception and knocks on!

Again our Eight put the squeeze on and again the Oldfield nine is pinged for feeding. Chicken's first to it and he takes it quickly, jinks past the first couple (makes Slippery look like sandpaper), offloads to Lonie who's a little less subtle and goes route one, he passes to Marcus in support who takes it into contact and then to ground and we clear them out, but a pair of amber & red hands reaches in and pinches it and they have a go at the rolling maul. But they're not as good at it as we are and it collapses and the ref calls ruck and it's Barstool who finally secures it, Chicken takes the pass sees a gap, breaks through the attempted tackle and he's away, outsprinting the cover to score under the posts 32-12 He drop kicks over his own conversion 34-12

Nick Levey & Mark Baldwin back on for Marcus & Rick respectively for the final ten.

Our final try is a gem, the ball is spun wide through the hands to Chris on the far side wing who gives a great timed inside pass to Fridge who sprints in from about twenty yards to score his second 39-12. Slippery this time drop kicks the conversion (show off) 41-12.

With about five or so minutes to go Slippery comes off with some minor muscular ailment, Barstool rumbles into the centre and Slow comes onto the flank for just the one scrum, for as the ball is spun out Sean joins the line, is tackled and goes down awkwardly and dislocates his ankle and a new nickname is born as he lets us all know he's done for the afternoon. With Squealer refusing the offer of an ambulance it is agreed between Lonie, the ref and their skipper that it's a good point to end the afternoon's proceedings given the serious nature of the injury.......and the score line.

Final Score 41-12 Final Age 652

We all retire to Oldfield's excellent wine bar like Clubhouse to enjoy Chris's excellent golfing skills before hitting Bath's All Bar One and beyond for those who managed to stay awake.

Housekeeping:

Anybody lost a pair of black rubber undershorts?

Slow

The Big Man returns!

Thu, 03 Mar 2011 14:43:27 GMT

One of rugby's giants makes a comeback. More to follow.

First XV
With scheduled opponents having to play a previously postponed match there was no suitable pool game to be found. So did the boys come training or did they take their wags shopping? A headcount suggests the latter. Back to action at Evesham in an away league game this saturday.

Development XV

With Luke leading from the front (row), our inconsistent but highly promising youngsters (apart from Paul Gower), faced a real challenge at home to Evesham 2nd XV. Considering the state of the weather and the heavy pitch, there was some very good rugby played by both sides. Tries for the Ys from that man of many talents, Purdey, as well as one each from Jonty and Adam in addition to some kicks from Son of Billy led to a narrow victory to the Ys by 22-15. This week it's a home game against Pershore 2nds .

Vandals XV

Against a very useful outfit, Evesham 3rds and in tricky conditions, our seniors (i.e ancient) stars played some superb rugby after the initial surge by opponents who had some very strong runners. Having worn them down the Vandals scored at regular intervals to secure a victory by 48-0. Tries came from; Phil W. x2, Smoking x2, and one each for Ralph, Greg Allen, Ali G. and Nick. Ralph and Nev managed some of the easier conversions. Thanks to the ref who I believe was Ivor from the Bournville club.
My memories of Mark Higgins are of those days when he was used primarily as a psychological weapon, i.e. stand him outside the opponents changing room and hear the panic created. When I saw Mark on Saturday on the touchline with kit on, I assumed that whilst in the gym somebody must have stolen his clothes. However, when introduced into the game during the second half certain things came to mind. Firstly, Mark is still big, but also he is physically fit and significantly his handling skills were in fine order. So, that means good news for us but this weekend's opponents, Berkswell and Balsall Vets be warned. This match is part of their President's day celebration.
Full report below.

Minis/Juniors

Well done to the Walker/Hendon management team. Second win in a row. Opponents Uttoxeter are in the early developmental phase. They showed touches of individual skill and a lot of enthusiasm but lacked a little in terms of group/whole team skills and tactics, which, of course, takes time. Thanks to the referee, Mr Darren Collingwood.

This weekend the only scheduled match sees the Under 15s take on Droitwich on a hopefully drier pitch at the Portway (A435/M42 junction 3). For Satnav users B94 5LH
The other M/J squads should be training but check with your team managers.

Tom's funeral

The chapel at Yardley cemetery was packed as we said a sad farewell to Tom Guise. Many players from the past through to the present day were joined by family as well as by friends from other clubs. Many fond stories were told of days gone by and some of them might well have included a little bit of fact as well as considerable exageration. Beer was flowing and I was told that one of our former props fell over, but after 20 pints who wouldn't.
It was particularly good on a personal basis to see Tony Meades who introduced me to the club many moons ago. Also it was good to have a chat with a youthful looking Keith (Bert) Black, now residing in Malvern. I recall my first team debut a long time ago when Bert was captain on the day. He made it clear that as fly-half that I must not for any reason pass to either of my centres, Tom Guise or Sid. They are there for defensive duties only as they can't catch, pass or make a break. To be diplomatic, we won that game but I can't remember if I passed to them or not. However, I do recall the taking of snuff and I fully understand why it has never caught on!

Vets v Evesham 3rds - Full Match Report

Saturday 26th February and Game 22 saw us in a Pool fixture at Fortress Tilehouse against Evesham 3rds, Warley having cried off early in the week...no surprise there then.

In the trenches this week Bill "Bilbo" Burrows at loosehead, Rick "Swing" Lowe at hooker and Mark "Gethin" Baldwin at tighthead; in the second row John "Fingers" Lonie and Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn, with the tackle twins Nick "the Assassin" Levey and Marcus "Shark" Hope on the flanks and Robbie "Barstool" Bastock at No.8.

In the air corps Phil "the General" Evans at scrum half with Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, Nick "Barrel" Palmer partnering Gary "Smokin" Williams in midfield, with wings Phil "Horse" Watson and Sean " Bean" Byrne, with Dave "Ralph" Rollins sweeping up the leaves at fullback.

An embarrassment of riches for Slow this week with the season's largest bench in Chris "Crash" Rowe, Andy "Fred" Killarney, Alan "the Colt" Arkell, Mike "Nearly" Neary, Iain "Johnno" Johnson, Kings Norton leg end Billy "Wishbone" Hendon, Ali "Spasm" Gouldbourn, Greg "the Knife" Allen and a return to playing after nearly 12 years to Mark "Tiny" Higgins. (Captains Note: Mark & I first locked horns competitively at school 37 years ago & he was f**king big then!)

Apologies (or you might be relieved to know) for a shorter than usual match report....technical issues...I believe they're called batteries

With the First team taking the weekend off Evesham suspected that we might indulge in loading the side with ringers and both Tom & I had to give guarantees before kick off that we wouldn't resort to subterfuge...and if you're reading Evesham we don't have to! Having won 28 games on the bounce without their help. Their skipper Colin did apparently groan however, when he was informed that their Nemesis of last season Horse was playing.

With the recent heavy rainfall we opted for a very heavy pitch Two (in truth I couldn't be arsed to inspect our beloved pitch Three) in very overcast and breezy conditions. Stunt skipper Marcus got the call wrong this week and rather surprisingly Evesham opted to play with the elements in the first half giving us the kick off towards the Clubhouse.

Nev's kick is fielded and immediately Evesham look to run it and Shark makes the first tackle; they set & recycle, the ball coming out to their Polish behemoth playing at No.8 this time (having been introduced to his nuts last season playing at prop against Bilbo). He shows a remarkably good set of hands and flings it straight out to his outside centre and he's brought down in midfield by Barrel. They secure and go close, their big lad taking it again but he's held up by Lonie, but they get numbers round and drive him on and over the halfway line. He extricates himself as the maul becomes a ruck and the No.8 has another go before wanging another high level pass out and again it's Barrel who makes the tackle in midfield. Evesham recycle and spin but bring it back in close, we spread the line as we absorb the early pressure, the ball is spun out to the inside centre and the Assassin has him. Again Evesham go route one with the No.8, again he's stopped but being six & a half foot tall is able to get the pass away and Barrel again takes the receiver. Same old as the No.8 goes again but goes straight this time and gets over our twenty two where he's gang tackled, they recycle and the No.8 goes again (beginning to sound one dimensional aren't they) this time it's big Phil who wraps him up but Barstool is penalised for coming in from the side...well at least it broke the monotony! They opt to kick for points but miss and we touch down for a twenty two drop out. So this week's warm up lasts eight or nine phases and a solid two minutes of defensive duties.

The General manages to weave his way in amongst the forwards to take the restart catch, but nudges it forward in the process, and the ref plays good advantage, the organised Evesham eight secure the loose ball, take it short before spinning it wide and Nev takes a hand off that leaves him on his backside, but that said we're comfortably holding them in midfield and even pinch it at the next breakdown, at which point the ref decides not enough advantage was gained so we come back for the knock on, and the first scrum of the game to Evesham. But Rick does his thang, picks the boys up and we drive them off their ball, the General whips it out to Nev, to Barrel who puts one over the top, their peroxide winger takes it cleanly and sends it back over, but Barrel anticipating this cunning ploy is back to take the catch and clear to touch.

They win the line at the tail but we turn the catcher and pinch it, the General sends it out to Nev, to Barrel who powers up and goes, he passes to Smokin' who takes the catch but loses his footing in the process and goes to ground. Barrel's first to him in support and we spin, to Nev to Barstool on the cut back and he boshes his way through the first few tackles and we set. Phil sends it out straight to Smokin' to Ralph to Horse who cuts back inside and gets all the way to the Evesham twenty two before getting stopped, the General pops it to Bilbo and the 677 gather round. Ball comes out to Nev and he sells a superb one to Barrel, they all buy it and Nev glides through the gap and gets to within ten metres of the line before getting stopped. Bean's first to him, but the ball is ripped out by an Evesham defender but it goes forward for a scrum to Yards. They get the drive on and pinch it and the No.8 picks up but Nick's to him, but the big fella gets the ball away and their 13 kicks for touch, but fails to find it and Sean does a Dervish and comes inside and we set, Rick ships it straight out to Nev, to Ralph in midfield to Sean and he takes it into contact and we set again. Nev gives a show and go to Barrel but Evesham don't buy this one and Nev goes to ground and we all pile over, a little too over, as the ref's whistle goes for a penalty. It's a good long kick which gets all the way into our twenty two but it fails to find touch and it's fielded by Sean who sends it back the ball going out just inside their half.

Evesham take it cleanly at two but it's a crap pass out to the fly half, who has to stand it up and gets Nick for his trouble and we turn it over but they come over the top, penalty Yards. Great kick by Nev into the corner ball going out about ten metres from their line. Gethin sends a low one into Marcus at two, just about head height in fact, Marcus taking it in his midriff and we set and drive it on, Barstool stands off and comes in at pace and takes the short range pass and gets almost to the line before getting stopped, Nick's there in support and it's a flick off the floor from him to the General to Ralph who goes it alone (that's Slow speak for should've passed) and gets caught, Smokin's first to him then BMT, we're right on their line, but struggling to get anywhere, finally it comes out loose and Horse gets the pass and does the simple thing and goes over in the corner 5-0 Ralph's kick is unsuccessful, but that was a quick eight minutes.

The Evesham restart finds the General's knees, he regathers and puts up a high one and it's the Evesham skipper who takes it and Bean shortly after and scrags him to the deck. Evesham manage to recycle despite our token Northerner's best efforts and their No.8 takes it on close and the Assassin fells him and the ball spills forward, referee playing good advantage as Smokin' scoops it up, passes to Ralph who chips one over for Horse to chase. It must be quite frightening for their winger as he collects knowing that Horse is on his case (at which point on the commentary Slow pisses himself laughing) as Horse literally picks his man up like a rag doll and carries him toward touch, the "professional" winger (or so he told us) does manage to drop the ball onto his foot to gain his side a few more yards, only for the General to slip the pass away to Nev and Barrel comes in on the scissors, all a bit static but still manages to get a good hand off in on the former third ranked Polish heavyweight boxer (kid you not) before we set. Swing's in there but they counter ruck well and turn us over, but in trying to retrieve the situation we compound our sins and concede a penalty between their ten & twenty two. They kick for touch the ball going out just inside our twenty two. It's a four ball and BMT poaches it but ball comes out loose and Horse picks it up and he's driven into touch for another throw to Evesham. They just about secure it despite BMT's best efforts and look to spin short but go to the fly half and he's clattered by the Assassin and we get the penalty for not releasing. Ralph puts it out just on their ten metre line.

We're pinged for a technicality at the line but their skipper opts for another lineout and not the scrum and Shark immediately pinches their low throw at two and we set, General sends it out to Nev who dummies Barrel and goes straight through the gap again between the centres, he's tackled offers it up to BMT, he offloads to the General to Ralph to Bean, he cuts back inside and hits traffic, we set again, Nev to Smokin', makes inroads, dummies Rob, gets caught, Sharks to to him but ball is nudged forward. Scrum to Evesham, under pressure from our Eight it collapses and referee blows and gives them a penalty which they kick to touch.

BMT takes their ball at the front of the line as we start to dominate in the set pieces, the General comes away with it, to Nev and it's a flat crash ball to Barrel who bulldozes his way through and gets all the way to their five metre line where he's held, it's all a bit messy and someone sends out a bouncing bomb which is collected by Smokes who sends a long one out to Sean, he goes through his man, but is driven into touch by the Evesham cover. They guff the lineout and we are awarded a scrum, it's slow ball so Nev punts it forward, they field it and punt it back, Sean takes it around half way and he has a go, the ball finding a spot to bounce midfield just inside their twenty two, and to their credit they try to run it out but Barrel makes the tackle and the ball goes loose and the General scoops it up finds Horse who puts Ralph over in the corner 10-0 Ralphs conversion just falls short.

They attempt a quick restart and big Phil shows off his footballing skills as he traps it, before picking up and setting off on a run, he pops an inside pass to Shark who hands off the first would be suitor before going to ground, but the whistle goes as the ref doesn't like Shark's effective hand off. Evesham try take to take the penalty quickly, but the ref calls them back as he's still talking martial arts with Shark so they kick for position, but it fails to find touch only Bean who punts it back and forces them to bring it back out from inside their half. Sean makes the follow up tackle on one of their big lads, but he gets it away to the big No.8 who looks to have broken the line but Nick's clinging on to one of his legs again and down he goes and we turn it over, Phil to Nev to Smokin' great timed pass to Barrel to Ralph to Horse who cuts back inside looking for space but ball gets knocked on in the tackle.

Scrum to Evesham, looks like their flanker who picks up Barstool nabs him, ball goes to ground and their fly half picks up, Nick gets him, they recycle, ball finds their No.8, he breaks the first tackle but not the second and the ball is nudged forward so the ref plays advantage but none comes so scrum to Yards. Barstool picks up from the base and goes, evades the first one, is caught by the second and his pop off the deck is harshly adjudged to have gone forward, scrum Evesham. It's a great drive by our Eight and with their scrum under pressure the ref spots a hand trying to help it out, penalty Yards. Nev looks to take it quick but ref's still marking out the ten so Nev puts it into the corner the ball going out about six or seven metres from their line. Big Phil takes a clean catch at four and Swing's round to tidy it up and we drive it on, the General's in there somewhere so it's Gareth Baldwin who ships it out to Nev and it's a long miss pass to Smokin' but it's too low & hot to handle and it goes forward (and I'm assuming here it struck one of our support players) as ref gives a penalty (for accidental offside)?

Their young fly half puts a high one up which bounces infield in our twenty two and Ralph clears to touch. BMT then takes their ball at four and it's spun out to Nev who punts it forward and it dies a death as it hits the whitewash intersection and their winger scoops it up and chips ahead and in one of those rare occasions Shark calls for the mark. He tries to take it quickly but their "professional" winger having overshot his own kick tries mug him from behind, penalty Yards, but the winger decides to have a chat with anybody who'll listen. Eventually Nev kicks to touch ball going out just outside our twenty two, we take it at two Rob comes round on the peel on the narrow side but he's driven into touch. Again we take their ball as Marcus deflects it at two and BMT takes it at four, moreorless off the top the General whips it out, great hands by Nev as he takes it down by his boot laces, to Barrel to Smokin' to Ralph who's in the line, goes over the twenty two, over the ten, looks for support, spots Smokin' on his inside and Gary's away, he looks for support and it's a difficult one to take off the deck for Sean and it goes forward.

Rick takes another one single handedly against the the head...what a guy and the General snipes, he makes good ground and gets into midfield Smokin' takes the pass off the deck as we keep it alive, we're into their twenty two and Barstool picks up about five or six metres from their line, we recycle again the General looks for options, and spins it out to Smokin' who does a bit of a step, is taken high but stands it up, we set, the General brings it left to Nev to Horse who rather than head for the left hand corner comes back in field to build up a head of steam, boshes a few and goes over a couple of metres to the right of the posts 15-0 Ralph's effort sails over 17-0

Bit of a repeat of the last restart as BMT flicks it up off his feet and sets off on a gallop, he's tackled, we recycle and the General pops it to Barstool who takes into midfield and we set and go again this time to Nev who pops a neat inside ball to Lonie who bludgeons his way through a couple before going to ground, but they pinch it, but ref decides on a scrum to Evesham before they can use the turnover. Scrum's midway between the halfway line and their ten and we get a shove on and the No.8's forced to pick it up but the General grips him round his ankles so he has to ship it out to his fly half who puts one over the top which Sean fields, but a good chase by the Evesham winger leaves him with no choice but to pop it into touch.

No matter as we pinch their ball at the lineout and spin to Nev who kicks for position but it doesn't find touch and they bring it out and the ball finally finds their No.8 but whistle goes for offside. The No.8 takes the quick pass and goes but Nick's round his ankles again and down he comes, they recycle and come left and Barrel makes the tackle and looks to have stripped the ball carrier but the ref blows again and awards Evesham a scrum 15 metres out from our line. No surprise as the No.8 picks up but the General's round his socks again and he's forced to pass, they try to run but it's all very lateral as our drift defence stays with them and they're forced to set and the No.8 tries again (Captains note I get the impression he does this week in week out, but he's getting no change from our 8 point a game defence as we demonstrate time & time again how to stop a big one in his tracks) this time it's Shark who makes the tackle on our twenty two, he gets a few metres further only for Nick to steal the ball and that's the last play of the half as the ref's whistle goes.

Halftime 17-0 Drinks all round. Andy K comes on for Lonie, Chris Crash for Shark and Ali G for Barstool.

From the restart Andy's soon into action and he takes it into traffic, then big Phil has a go, gets tackled and we drive over but the ref's seen a nudge forward so awards Evesham a scrum. Rick's taken a knock so he comes off and Greg trots on and we put their scrum under pressure and the Pole has to pick up and go lateral and he's felled by a great tackle from Crash and the ball goes loose, it's picked up by their ten, but he's held so they have to set and again the No.8 has a trundle and again is stopped in his tracks so has to pass and the receiver is taken by both Barrel & Smokes so they recycle just outside their twenty two, the pass comes back to their scrum half who puts one up but it's held up in the wind giving Bean the chance to take it but he nudges forward. Ref plays advantage as Evesham gather and cross the halfway line but their eventual kick is blown direct into touch and he brings us all the way back for the original knock on. Scrum on the ten metre line, good pressure from our Eight but the ball is steered back by the flankers hand, and the No.8 picks up and the General's snapping at his heels so he's forced to ship it out and Nick Levey makes the next tackle in midfield, they recycle and go again as our tackles keep coming and Smokin' steals the ball and pops it to Horse who eludes their No.8 and offloads to Barrel, who's a bit isolated so goes for the gap then offloads to Ralph on the loop around who in turn tries to put one inside to Sean but it's intercepted but he's driven into touch.

We're pinged at the lineout, and they take it quick and Chris levels the scrum half, they recycle and the No.8 takes it close and Alistair takes his opposite number, Nick's unlucky not to steal it as they manage to get it away, but only as far as the next breakdown where just as we've looked to have turned it over, the ref blows for an attacking scrum just as the General was digging it out. Time for a few more changes as Wishbone comes on for Gethin, Johnno for the General, and Nearly for Ralph.

Johnno's straight into action on their No.8, but again using his height he manages to get it away but only for Barrel to clatter the next man, they're lucky to come away with it as they keep it tight and Spasm makes the next tackle on their scrum half as they continue to accumulate the phases approaching our ten metre line, at which point they kindly cough it up and we turn it over but they have hands in trying to pinch it back, referee spots it and blows for a penalty and there is time for some minor handbags on the deck but nothing serious. Nev kicks for touch and puts it out five metres from their twenty two, at which point their vocal winger decides to talk about yellow cards and the ref takes the hump and sends them back another ten, and another ten and Nev puts it into the corner.

Throw comes in and it's tail gun Killarney who takes it at the back and Johnno sends a bit of a worker out and Nev takes it on the deck and wisely stays there as his opposite number comes flying over the top. We set as the No.8 strays round offside (how'd you miss a bloke that big?) and we get the pass away and Horse looks to go through the middle of them, he's finally held and we all pile in and the ref sees something and gives Evesham a penalty. Their fly half is having a lie down having taken a knee to the temple (he was very specific) and he has to come off and for the second week in a row Ralph comes on to help the opposition.

The scrum half takes a quick tap and offloads to you know who, who runs into Andy K and he flings it out aimlessly and Crash picks up the loose ball, and we take it on, Wishbone has it at the back and he pops it to Spasm who makes good ground despite having the No.8 attached. Alistair finally goes to ground and Wishbone tidies up and Bilbo pops it to Greg on the wing who beats his first man, but his cunning return reverse flick to Bilbo is intercepted by Evesham and it's left to Ralph to clear their lines.

We fluff the lineout and it's Evesham starlet Ralph who comes away with it, and they set it on their twenty to and try to run it out, their skipper makes a good break until he's tackled by Crash and they set again, then spin and it comes to their vocal winger who chips it over Horse, but Mike's there and does the Neary two step on the winger (to great cheers on the touchline) leaving him tackling fresh air and then kicks deep, the ball being fielded by their skipper inside the twenty two, he tries a sidestep but Mike following up his kick is having none of it and brings him down. We turn it over at the breakdown and Spasm takes it on then offloads out the back of his hand to Smokin' who steps two making five or six metres in the process, he finds Johnno, who passes to Alistair who takes into contact, Johnno spins it out to Nev who dummies Barrel and pops it back inside to Knife, to Andy K, to Smokin' but unluckily the ball goes forward and Evesham get the scrum.

Their No.8 picks up and has to make another high pass to Ralph who puts the winger into space but he chooses to kick ahead and Mike takes the catch and we gather round, Johnno puts the box kick up but the ref's seen something untoward and awards Evesham a penalty. They take it short and Andy K's first to react and they have to set and the No.8 takes it close and Chris makes the tackle, he offloads and Alistair makes the next, and the ball comes out to Ralph who kicks ahead which Bean just about gets away with, and we then proceed to have a mad 30 seconds of silly passing mostly without catching, some real daft stuff in parts but we survive and even get a scrum just inside our half.

Steady scrum, Johnno gets it to Barrel who takes it off his toes and has no option but to kick ahead, and Evesham clear to touch. Slow sends on the Colt Arkell & Higgsy for Nick Levey & BMT, as if we needed anymore weight in the scrums! We cough up the ball in the lineout and Evesham spin then kick ahead and this time it's Horse who shows of his footballing skills as he traps it then picks, kicks and gives chase. The Evesham defender dives on it and Horse patiently waits for him to get up, before turning him and we strip the ball and Higgsy gets his first touch of the ball in twelve or so years and rumbles into contact like a Tiger tank. We set and the ball comes out and Greg manages to give it to the now second largest player on the field, their No.8! Barrel makes a great ankle tap, followed by a series of fine tackles by Sean & Smokin' and the Evesham attack stalls, so they regroup and go close and Wishbone makes the tackle and it goes to ground and we're penalised for going over.

They take it quickly and Chris makes the tackle but a metre or two early, so Evesham get another go...............

And that's where technology failed me, but in the last quarter we finally broke their resistance and we ran riot scoring another five unanswered tries, a classy brace from Smokin', one each from Alistair, Barrel & Greg best remembered for Johnno's slight of hand in the final pass. Nev adding three conversions.

Final Score 48-0 Final Age 640

Bit of a cheap shot from Evesham at the end with their skipper calling "three cheers for Old Yards ex first team" again if your reading probably half a dozen former first teams actually but all from twenty years ago!

According to our independent adjudicator Tomasz O'Power this week's man in the dirtiest shirt was Nick Levey, who spent the majority of his game welded to the big Pole's ankles. Best supporting actress was Barrel who apart from his trademark scissors did an awful lot of work off the ball and in defence.

Slow

Everyone's a winner!

Tue, 22 Feb 2011 14:05:03 GMT

Well, what can you say? Barcelona no problems, Leyton Orient need a replay but we wait nervously for sunday and the Carling cup. Can the Blues achieve what Barcelona couldn't? It's all on the day, maybe a cruel deflection, a dodgy referee's decision. Enjoy the game anyway!

On to rugby. Success all round for our teams last weekend. Heavy pitches were the order of the day which suit some but not others.

First XV

Playing bottom of the league side Cov. Welsh was not as easy as it might have appeared as our opponents showed plenty of grit and determination. It was good to see that our lads kept their composure even when the inevitable errors crept into the game. Ben Honey scored our first try but then the youthful boys took over with our other tries coming from Tom Growcott, Lee Purdy and James O'Donnahue. Ben kicked two pens and Max a conversion. This weekend coming sees a break from the league programme but a testing visit from DKs Development squad.

Development XV

Some thought it was Kings Norton, some thought it was Five Ways and Pickle thought it was a home game. Luke, the skipper, says it was Five Ways but whoever it was we put a lot of points up them and kept a clean sheet as well. Try scorers included Carl (Billy's Boy) x3 and some conversions, Phil Williams x2, Egg x2, Jonty x2 and a conversion, Luke, Mark, Kevin Coles and Dave Simpson all with one apiece. Well done fellas. Evesham at home this weekend.

Vandals

Could Harborne break the sequence? No. Martyn's boys travelled across town to meet a club that is now on the verge of putting out 4 sides. However, it's quality that counts and even without Shannon who was allegedly taking some beer therapy down in Devon, we still won by a clear distance. Tries came from the Lode Heath superstar x 3, Nick P., young Simon, Sean B, and Basher Baldwin. Ralph and Nev managed some conversions. Well done again especially to big Mark.
Full match report below.

Minis and Juniors

The very young ones continue to produce exciting rugby to the extent that Andy loses track of the score. Well done anyway.

The under 9s proved just a little bit too strong for Kings Norton. We will try to persuade Lonie to write a match report in our next game.

The Billy Boys (Hendon not William of Orange) came away from Berkswell and Balsall or it could be Balsall and Berkswell but whatever the geography we won. Well done to Billy, Nigel and the lads.

On an adjoining pitch in a new fixture for us, our under 15s played The B&Bs and gained another hard-fought victory. Taking our chances and dogged defence saw us ease home. Try scorers included Alister, Callum H. and Big Adrian but well done all of you!

This coming sunday, 27th Feb, at the moment sees our under 7/8s training, the 9s at home v Bournville and the under 13/14 at home v Uttoxeter.

Friends of the club

Recently met up with that silver-haired speedster from the 80s, Brendan Fahy. Now based in Colchester he still follows our progress but also, I think he was serious, enjoys ballet, fine wines and reading classics. Just like the rest of us!

The Chairman of Cheshire / South Lancs club, Old Parkonians, Richard Beckett, is visiting our club on a fact-finding (not fat-finding) mission this weekend. Be warned, he enjoys a conversation.

Harborne 3rds vs Vandals - full report

Saturday 19th February and Game 21 saw us on the road over at Metchley Lane playing fields to play Harborne 3rds; a side whom we'd despatched reasonably comfortably in mid November but only after some considerable effort on our part, so all looked set for another interesting encounter.

In the Agricultural Department this week the multi-functional Rick "Swing" Lowe at loosehead, the venerable soon to be sixty El Presidente Steve Sidwell at hooker & back from international duty (on the pi**) Mark "Grogg" Baldwin at tight; in the second row John "Fingers" Lonie and Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn, with the tackle twins Nick "the Assassin" Levey and Marcus "Shark" Hope on the flanks and wannabe prop & closet Gooner Robbie "Barstool" Bastock at No.8.

In Black Ops Phil "the General" Evans at scrum half with Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, Nick "Barrel" Palmer partnering Gary "Smokin" Williams in midfield, with wings Simon "Sideways" Singleton, and Sean " I do 15k before breakfast" Byrne, with Dave "Ralph" Rollins directing operations at fullback.

In the bleachers this week rising Welsh starlet Chris "Crash" Rowe, Andy "Fred" Killarney, Alan "the Colt" Arkell, Mike "Nearly" Neary and Captain Slow.

After some considerable pre-match fannying about in the changing rooms, with a dozen or so teams trying to get changed in the same pavilion including Oxford University's ultimate frisbee side...what the f**k is ultimate frisbee?; losing both our referee and pitch to the Birmingham University v Hartpury College Freshers fixture we were forced to play on a pitch churned up up only thirty minutes earlier, and that resembled freshly mown Bluetack, but still a slightly silver lining in our own Tomás O'Power volunteering to officiate.

Marcus gets the flip of the coin correct and we opt to play up the considerable slope in the first half allowing gravity to bring us home in the second.

Our first try is scored about eight minutes in when we are awarded a scrum following a Harborne knock on about ten metres out from the Harborne line; Barstool territory and he doesn't disappoint as he picks & goes, but is held up about a metre or so from the line, we recyle and spin short to Symes, he gets held up and we gather round. Barrel goes in to rip it out which he does, presents it, ball comes out to big Phil who takes it on the gallop and gets to within inches of the line; we recycle and the General whips it out to Nev, to Ralph and he sends a long one out to Bean in space who goes over about five metres in 5-0 Ralph's conversion is unsuccessful.

Harborne unphased equalise a few minutes later when awarded a scrum on halfway, their young No.8 picks & goes, beats the initial cover defence and ultimately it's a two on one with Bean, who takes the No.8 but not in time to prevent the pass putting their winger over about ten metres in from the touchline 5-5 Kick unsuccessful, but lots of whoop whoop from the young Harborne side and game on.

Our lead was restored about three minutes later, when Bean chips a neat one over the top forcing his opposite number to bundle it into touch for a lineout five metres out. Big Phil takes it cleanly at four and drops it down to Mark who tidies it up, and we drive but Mr O'Power spots something he doesn't like and blows; Nev takes it quickly does a run around the ref and pops it to Barstool who bludgeons his way over to restore our lead 10-5. The tee's gone missing, so Slow suggests Ralph dig a hole, and maybe it's too deep as the kick misses.

Our third try starts with a lineout following the Harborne scrum half box kicking it direct into touch, BMT takes it cleanly again at four and we drive it on towards the posts, we splinter infield, I have no idea who's got the ball at this point, but ball goes to ground, the General scoops it up and we go wide, to Nev to Smokin' (Barrel having gone AWOL), Gary comes back in steps two, passes to Sean who offloads to Symes, some great interplay from our wingers, Simon's held, so we recycle and it's a long spin out to Barrel to Rick in midfield, he takes a high one around his ears, but takes it into contact, we set in front of the posts. General to Nev to big Phil, he gives it to Smokin', back to Nev, he sees a gap and cuts through, finds Nick he makes a couple more before going to ground. Ball finds its' way to the back, General picks up dummies to big Phil, and goes, he's held up Symes goes in, but it's Barrel who finally digs it out and goes over short range 15-5 Ralph makes no mistake with this one
17-5. Seven minutes till halftime.

But again Harborne come back when following several good phases of the play they camp on our five metre line and their big Venezuelan (I kid you not) second row goes route one through the middle to go over for an unconverted try on the stroke of halftime.

Halftime 17-10 Isotonics & despite the late score with the considerable slope in our favour the Vandal massive are confident.

And it's not long after halftime that we do increase our lead, all starting with Ralph sending one deep which the Harborne fullback obligingly knocks on for a Vandal scrum five metres from their twenty two. Nice steady scrum and the ball comes to the base and Barstool picks up & goes, he makes a couple before going to ground, Symes is in their and flicks it up of the deck, and we spin, Nev brings Barrel in on the scissors and he hits their young fly half who in fairness stands Barrel up and we have to go again, General to Nev who puts one into the corner but Tom's seen a knock on and we come back for another scrum on the twenty two. Harborne put the wheel on and the General has to ship it out to Nev, who dummies Barrel, dummies Smokin', passes to Ralph who brings it back in, he gets over the twenty two, gets tackled, the Assassin's first there he flips it up to Barstool who sets off in characteristic fashion and goes over for his second close to the posts 22-10 Ralph converts for a 24-10 lead and Slow knows we're past the point of no return for Harborne as no one's achieved more than 21 points this season.

Time for some fresh legs Andy Killarney comes on for John Lonie, Mike Neary for Dave Rollins and Chris Rowe for Nick Levey, Barstool moves to loosehead, Rick takes a breather and Ali " Spasm" Gouldbourn comes on at No.8.

Shortly afterwards Nev bangs the first one down really deep into the corner, this is where we want to play, a tactic Harborne were unable or reluctant to use in the first half, but Tom stops the game mid play for a neck injury to their South American lock; Slow & Smokin' ponder on how he intends to restart the game, and Slow postulates a drop ball maybe. Eventually the big man gets to his feet and has to come off, and Harborne's only replacement, a winger is press ganged into second row, and Tom restarts with a scrum to Harborne on just shy of their ten and we immediately drive them off their ball and Shark tidies it up. We really start to crank it up now sensing the game is ours.

Our fifth try was a real team effort, starting with Nev selling an outrageous dummy in midfield, and he goes right through the middle before offloading to Barstool, it's an underhand pass to Smokin' to Sean, he cuts back inside and breaks the half tackle before setting, ball's out quickly to Mike at pace but he's held up five metres out, we recycle and ball comes out to Nev, not much outside him so he fakes the drop goal attempt and heads back indoors and gets close before looking for his friends, Barstool's next to have a go and is held up just short. The General decides to go long to Smokin' but the pass goes to ground but backwards, he picks up does a couple of steps and a spin to give himself some space to operate and goes into contact and the 677 gather round and drive relentlessly towards the line and over we go and it's Mark Baldwin who emerges from the bottom of the pile
with his season's maiden try having pinched it off Sid with a yard or two to go 29-10. Nev makes it good 31-10

Another long break shortly after sees one of the Harborne wingers going off and Ralph sportingly goes on for them at fullback.

Our sixth try was scored by Sideways following a punt through traffic along the deck which became a straight foot race between our speedster and the cover defence, still lots of work for him to do as he outsprints the cover to chip ahead and regather right on the line and dots it down against the post 36-10 Another straight forward one for Nev 38-10

The restart goes dead and we come back for a scrum on halfway, Spasm picks up and offloads to the General, to Nev who chips over the top and Ralph takes it well but gets Symes for his trouble but still manages to offload it, but the receiver gets creamed by Andy K and big Phil moves in to strip the ball, and Shark comes away with it, dummies Sid and heads for the line, but his pass is adjudged forward for a scrum to Harborne. No matter as we put their eight under all sorts of pressure and the General harries his opposite number and they are literally forced to kick it along the line and Chris is an agonising fingertip away from a pick up and certain score. The tackles rain in as the ball evades the Harborne hands and finally it's a great pick up off the deck by the biggest man on the park BMT, who feeds his namesake, who pops it to Nev, to Barrel, who straightens it up, finds Simon, to Smokin' who's finally driven into touch about five metres out.

Harborne retain their possession and kick to touch, but keeping up the tempo Sean takes the quick throw to Mike who makes good ground before taking a high one and Tom awards the penalty. It looks though as if we opt to take a scrum instead, and secure steady ball, General sends it out to Nev, who dummies Barrel, flat pass to Smokin' but it goes to gound, Tom plays good advantage and one of their quick lads sets off with it but is hauled down by Smokin'. They spin again, Shark makes the tackle, Spasm the next, as Harborne put a couple of phases together and reach halfway, but the tackles keep raining in from our midfield and finally a Harborne pass goes loose which Barstool gratefully picks up and goosesteps his way in from about the halfway line to score under the posts 43-10 Nev makes it three from three 45-10

Still time for a last few changes the Colt Arkell comes on for BMT, Nick returns for Marcus, Slow comes on at inside centre and Rick replaces Sid at hooker. We close the game out with Harborne still pressing for a consolation score.

Final score 45-10 Final age a healthy 668.

Big thanks to Tom for stepping into the breach.

This week Evesham 3rds at home, Warley having cried off again.

Slow

U8s & U7s Combined v Redditch away

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

The growing strength of the squad was demonstrated as we fielded eleven players against Redditch away from home despite the half term holidays. Two teams were formed with some players floating to allow us to field 2 seven a side teams. The A side stepped forward first under the captaincy of Dan H. Redditch were able to manage the exuberance of the half term holiday slightly better in the first half as we came up against a team who were a little more organised. As a result they won the half by five tries to two. Some excellent team work put Josh H into score both of the tries for Old Yards. The B side came to the field determined to push Redditch a little harder. They succeeded by closing the gap on Redditch. Josh T scored the first, Samuel a second and Ellis the third. All three tries came from some excellent running from the team. Redditch scored four tries by carefully avoiding the touch line. On their return to the pitch the A side put it all together to win the half by three tries to two. Frankie captained the side. They team put together the best defensive session of the day and manage to turn the ball over by taking six tags in succession. Josh T scored the first two tries and Josh H the third. Josh H captained the team for the final half. Josh T scored a wonderful try when he showed how to run the length of the blind side of the pitch through the narrowest of gaps. He added another three tries to his tally in the half and Ellis scored early in the match to tie the half with Redditch at five tries all. Overall it was a wonderful display with the play improving half by half despite increasingly numb fingers from the cold. It was a real delight to see a number of debutants getting to grips with the game. This gives us every confidence that we can field two sides for the end of season rugby tournaments. A very determined display by all!

Bournville vs. Vandals - 19th March 2011 - match report tucked away

With, as predicted by Uncle Tom, Birmingham Exiles crying off Saturday 19th March our twenty fifth game of the season saw us in a Pool game against Bournville 3rds over at Metchley Park Road. The last game being one of the season's tightest encounters so far finishing 23-12, this being only one of five games Bournville have lost all season. At the coal face this week Shannon "Steps" Killarney at loose, Steve Sidwell & Rick "Swing" Lowe job sharing at hooker, and similarly Mark "Gethin" Baldwin & Bill "Bilbo" Burrows at tighthead, in the warp core the brothers Gouldbourn "BMT" and "Spasm" with Chris "Crash" Rowe and Nick "the Assassin" Levey on the flanks with Rupert "the Major" Young at No.8. In the garden Phil "the General" Evans at scrum half alongside Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, Nick "Barrel" Palmer partnering Gary "Smokin" Williams in midfield, with wings Sean " Bean" Byrne and Simon "Slippery" Singleton and Dave "Ralph" Rollins sweeping up the leaves at the back. With international call ups not so much a bench more a milking stool this week with just the two & Captain Slow. . Arriving in what was good time for us, it was gratifying to see the Bournville lads taking us seriously, and not only being all changed but all out on the park doing drills in the unseasonal Spring sunshine, with what looked like two or three first teamers, including one of their big Southern Hemisphere lads, no doubt all recovering from injuries I'm sure, and the fact that their first team were having the day off being purely coincidental. With the considerable slope it was an important toss to win, and as you know tails never fails, so I picked heads and struck lucky, and then rather confusingly (for me anyway) their South African skipper opted to give us the kick too. Going uphill then in the first half we started with Sid & Balders in the front row , Slow having some vague notion of using youth & mobility off the bench in the second half (that'd be you Rick & Bilbo in that order)! Nev's kick off sails into the heart of the Bournville forwards where it is caught cleanly and immediately post their intentions by spinning the ball out and Barrel puts in a thumper on his man and dislodges the ball forward, our referee for the day Adrian Pembleton looks to play advantage but none occurs and we are awarded the game's first scrum just inside their ten. Slow ball forces the General to box kick one over, and Bean gives chase, it's an awkward bounce for Bournville as it stays infield inside their twenty two and they try to run it out. They're stopped just on the twenty two and we almost turn it over, but they manage to get it away and their fly half hoofs it down the slope where Ralph takes it, steps the first chaser then chips ahead but the ball goes direct into touch for a lineout back between our ten & twenty two. They secure a messy ball, set and then spin and their big Islander takes it on a yard before shipping it to his partner where it's spilled forward, then grubbered ahead, but the ref's seen the knock on and we get another scrum with the Major's feet just about on their ten metre line. We have a couple of goes at it as the scrum clock ticks over before the ball finally finds the General who ships it out to Nev, as Slippery starts to move off his wing, Barrel comes in on the scissors and breaks the gain line before being hauled down but pops it off the deck to Nev who finds Smokin', to Ralph to Sean who's stopped by one of their big units and it goes to ground and we drive over. The General digs it out and passes to Nev who puts it up, and the Bournville fullback fluffs his first one but it goes backwards and he regathers off the deck and runs it out but not that far before he's stopped by Chris, and the 677 drive him back towards the line, and then go one better and turn it over. But the the ball comes out the back messily and misses the General altogether so Alistair has no option but to pick up and drive it forward, but he's brought down and we're pinged for hands in at the ruck. Bournville through their Islander take it quickly and literally runs over our first couple of would be tacklers and sets off into open field and they go onto score under the posts 5-0 and their slight fly half drop kicks over the conversion 0-7. Not the best of starts though it's not the first time we've conceded the first try and Slow idly wonders to himself whether cheats do prosper. Nev's restart is taken well by one of the Bournville forwards and he sets off and finds Shannon waiting and manages to give away a penalty almost immediately. Shannon takes it quickly and offloads to the General who sees space up ahead and chips for the corner and gives chase, and he's up quickly on the fullback and charges the attempted clearance down the ball going out right on the corner flag. So lineout to Bournville five metres out from their line which they take without much fuss and drive it on a couple before shipping it out to the fly half who bangs it down the hill. Ralph takes it cleanly and sets off back up the hill, passes to Smokin' who finds Slippery in support who beats his man and cuts infield. He's stopped and we recycle, the General to Nev to Smokin' who beats his man but is eventually forced into touch about twenty metres from the Bournville line. Rupert steals brilliantly at two and the General sends it out to Nev, dummy scissors Barrel, pass to Smokin' whose onward pass is knocked forward by Bournville as they try the interception, scrum to Yards. The ball comes straight out the back and the General scoops it up and wings it out to Nev who finds Sean who escapes a couple before having to stand it up and we drive him on. The ball comes safely to the back and the General has a snipe, he offloads to Chris Crash who's tackled pops it off the deck to big Phil who takes on the Antipodean and we set again. Ball comes out to Nev, he gives the dummy and has a go and we set and go a couple of times before the referee decides the Antipodean's definition of a tackle on BMT differs to his. We try to take it quickly but the ref's having none of it so Ralph bangs it into touch on the Bournville twenty two. Big Phil takes it at four and it's a quick set, drive and spin out by the General to Nev who brings Barrel in on another dummy scissors, passes to Smokin' who steps his man, who's then hit late, and ref looks to play advantage, but none comes, penalty Yards. The kick doesn't find touch but kindly bounces back towards the chasing Chris who scoops it up but is driven into touch about fifteen metres from the Bournville line. They take it at two and the scrum half looks to go and sells Nick the dummy but gets the old man instead, then Chris makes the next tackle but finally Bournville do the sensible thing and kick pass to Ralph downfield. He puts it up in the air and the fullback makes a complete mess of it and it's one of his centres who saves his blushes, but he's tackled well by Bean and looks like he's turned over as he picks up the loose ball, but ref brings it back and awards us the scrum about five metres inside their twenty two centre field. Shannon comes off briefly to powder his nose. Nev splits the line, Ralph & Sean right, Nick, Gary & Symes left. The Major picks up and finds the General at his side who cuts inside and makes good ground before it's knocked on in the tackle, and ref blows for a scrum to Bournville. El Presidente inspires his men on and we drive them off their ball and Rupe picks up and takes it into contact and then to ground and the 677 drive over and the General sends it out to Nev, who improvises one over the top of Barrel's head to Smokin' who spins it to Symes who comes the long way round and takes it into contact and we gather round. It looks like we've lost it as someone in maroon appears to be being very "industrious" but then out pops Sid rather nonchalantly with it and the ball is chipped ahead, the ball going out in the right hand corner for a Bournville throw on the five metre line. The windmill at two that is the Major gets one of his dish plates in to disrupt their throw and BMT wraps up the catcher and we gather and the General barks "everyone drive" and our Eight oblige their scrum half and the catcher is driven into touch for another five metre throw. Sid's throw is straight as a die and big Phil takes it at four, comes down with it and we drive it over for the score and it's Gethin who marches eleven places up the scoring table with his second try of the campaign 5-7. Ralph's conversion attempt goes just a half a metre shy of the right hand upright but we're up and running again. At this point my gadget gives up the ghost, but quite honestly I just want to watch, so the rest is from memory (& in the case of Sid's try all Gethin's as it was too far away for my failing eyesight). It's not long after when more pressure earns us another attacking lineout five metres from the Bournville line and cub reporter Baldwin takes over . "Hooker Sidwell threw in, a lofted throw over the out stretched grasp of the defenders' front jumper. Just behind the ball landed in the safe and reliable shovels of the Vandals lineout king Phil Gouldbourn. He towered above all, held securely in the air by the Herculean lifters, his brother Ali and Bilbo. At the same time Gethin Baldwin came round from the front of the lineout to secure the ball, receiving it from Phil and cradling it beneath his mighty torso. The maul was set and the Vandals moved forward towards the Bournville line. Gethin started to sweat, getting excited about scoring his second try of the game when the maul started to falter. Not to worry as the General was there to operate Plan B. He accepted the ball and went left. Just outside him was the ageless club President Sidwell, who caught a short pass from the General. Two metres out, with nobody in front of him, Sidwell jumped and dived across the line to become oldest ever Vandal to score a try." 10-7 Another difficult conversion attempt for Ralph from the corner and it's achingly close but just misses. Halftime 10-7 Isotonics all round, including one for the ref ;o) and boy did we need them. Sid & Mark take a bow and Rick & Bilbo come on for the downhill leg. A few minutes after halftime we increase our lead when swift hands and an even swifter Slippery goes over and under the posts to score 15-7 Ralph makes no mistake 17-7 But about five minutes later we concede what is by our standards a really soft try as Bournville take a quick penalty between their ten and twenty two and their diminutive but talkative fly half streaks up the touchline and despite Chris Crash's best attempt from the other side of the pitch to head him off he dots down under the posts 12-17. The conversion a formality 14-17. Bournville now hit a purple patch as we begin to tire a touch, and following some crisp interpassing their big dreadlocked winger runs it up the middle from just outside our twenty to go over underneath the posts for another converted try 21-17. This is the first time anybody has managed to score twice in succession against us all season and things are looking a mite grim! But we're not quite done yet as the Vandal Massive draws on previously untapped reserves of stubborness and following slick handling by Nev & the boys Simon is again unleashed out on the wing to score his second 22-21 (how they must miss him at his old Club...oh that would be Bournville) And we're back in the lead, which Ralph increases when his conversion sails over 24-21. Spasm who's stoically been carrying a shoulder from the first half, tucking his hand into his collar for support at every breakdown finally has to admit defeat and Slow comes on at No.8 for a couple of scrums until he comes up with a better idea, substitutes himself, moves Bilbo into the second row and brings Gethin back on at tighthead. Our tails are up and it's left to the Stepmeister to sell a bit of magic to the Bournville youngsters from about ten metres out and go over with about ten minutes to go to seal what is without doubt our hardest fought victory 29-21. It's some relief as the ref's final whistle goes, our back row of Nick, Chris and Rupe are pretty much out on their feet having tackled themselves pretty much to a standstill, similarly our midfield duo Barrel & Smokin' and the back three of Symes, Sean & Ralph having coped with pretty much relentless attacks in those closing few minutes. Final Score 29-21 Final Age 681 Incidentally our starting age was a new record of 693!! And yes you'd be right that's mostly Sid's extra 15 years, which works out at a 46.2 average, 681 is still our 2nd oldest final age, the forwards' average age was at the start 50.4 and still 48.5 at the end. Perhaps Simon you could pass these numbers onto the Bournville's whinging Chairman when you see him next!!! Three tries from the front row, now how often does that happen?! And looking at Bournville's three, all essentially breakaway tries by younger lads especially the one from the young whippet of a fly half in the second half, whereas all five of ours were based on solid teamwork and good hands in both the forwards & the backs. So Man in the dirtiest shirt this week goes to Shannon, Sid, Rick, Bill, Mark, Phil, Alistair, Nick, Chris, Rupert, Phil, Nev, Nick, Gary, Sean, Simon & David, you all deserve it for balls to the wall defence & plain old belligerence. And Bilbo remarks to me after the game imagine how good we'd be if we trained!! The last try was our 181st, still time to reach 200 which would be a real achievement, last year we only managed 107 Slow

The rugby carries on but our thoughts are for Tom

Thu, 17 Feb 2011 17:42:58 GMT

The rugby is overshadowed by the sudden death of Tom Guise but we feel sure that he would want us to get on with the sport through which we all knew him.

First XV

In some games the luck has gone against us and we have been narrowly defeated when it was not deserved but our win at Harbury has balanced the books so to speak. Taking an early lead we then eased up allowing the home side to snatch the lead with very little time left. For a change the opposition lost their discipline with two of them sin-binned at the end as we snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. Our coach nominates himself as our man of the match for his two tries. Well done Gary! Adam Walker got our other try with Max Gimson adding 2 pens and a conversion. This weekend sees the visit to Tilehouse Lane of Coventry Welsh who must not be taken lightly as they beat us on their own patch earlier this season.

Development XV

Communication problems saw our rising stars travel to Aston with only 13 players and that was reflected in the result. Captain, Luke, led the way with our only try. This weekend sees the lads at home to local rivals Five Ways Old Eds.

Vandals XV

An unfortunate incident resulting in a serious injury to one of our players led to the game against Aston being abandoned with our lads leading by 29-5. . Full match report below.

Minis and Juniors

The under 7/8s continue to develop successfully with a strong performance at Old Saltleians.
Meanwhile, our newly reinforced under 15s travelled to Bromsgrove and were in top form opening an early lead with 4 tries and then defending strongly to ensure victory. Jack, our captain and fly-half suffered a serious looking injury and was airlifted to hospital as a precaution. Jack informs me that he is fine but not looking forward to the statutory minimum 21 day recovery time.

Fixturess this weekend

First XV   v   Coventry Welsh    home league
Development Xv    v    Five Ways   home
Vandals XV   v   Harborne   away

Under 7/8    v   Redditch away (to be confirmed)
Under 9/10   v   Kings Norton home
Under 13/14 v   Berkswell and Balsall Common    away
Under 15       v   Berkswell and Balsall Common   away

Berkswell and Balsall play at Honily rd. Meer End CV8 1NQ

Match Report - Vandals v Aston Old Eds 3rds

Our twentieth game of the season on Saturday 12th February 2011 found us at Fort Tilehouse against Aston Old Edwardians 3rds a side who up until last week had occupied the honour of running us the closest in a 22-10 win over at Perry Common in early November.

Doing the hard graft this week loosehead Shannon "Steps" Killarney, Rick "Swing"Lowe at hooker & Bill "Bilbo" Burrows at tighthead, in the second row the brothers Gouldbourn, Spasm & BMT and the tackle twins Nick "the Assassin" Levey and Marcus "Shark" Hope on the flanks with Robbie "Barstool" Bastock at No.8.

In the creative department this week Iain "Johnno" Johnson at scrum half with Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, Nick "Barrel" Palmer partnering Tony "Grassy knoll" Fitzgerald in the centres and a back three of Phil "Horse" Watson, Simon "Sideways" Singleton and Dave "Ralph" Rollins.

On the couch this week Phil "the General" Evans, Chris "Crash" Rowe, Gary "Smoking" Williams, Sean "Bean" Byrne and after making a quick trip to Harbury to collect his kit out of Lonie's car Alan "the Colt" Arkell. (Apologies Alan for thinking it merely a ruse to go speed drinking with John)

Arriving in good time a big, very different looking and well organised Aston side took the field, together with a youthful looking back division in resplendent in their fluorescent boots. This weeks stunt skipper Marcus guesses wrong and we get kick off towards the club, but wind and low sun in their faces second half, good enough for me.

Nev drops his kick off short (that a first?) and Aston get the scrummage on the centre spot. A big Aston eight get no change out of ours but Johnno gets pinged for coming round. They opt to kick for touch the ball going out about five metres outside our twenty two. The Aston scrum half knocks on from the lineout, but the ref Jigger (coincidentally a former Aston player) plays advantage but the pop to Spasm is deemed forward so we come back for the original offence and a scrum to Yards, a few metres in front of our ten metre line. We get the nudge on, Johnno to Nev and Barrel comes in on the first scissors of the day, and takes it into contact, and we recycle, and Johnno tries to put one over but it takes a deflection, and is fielded cleanly by Aston who look to spin, but their fly half opts to put one instead into Ralphs bread basket, and he sends it back over the top landing just in front of their twenty two where it is collected by the Aston fullback who sends it back with interest going out four or five metres outside our twenty two.

Big Phil takes it at four and we drive it on a few metres, Rick at the back, who splinters off and takes it infield, he offloads to Barstool, passes to Johnno to Nev to Barrel to Fitz to Ralph in the line, he gets caught, Fitzy offloads him to Simon and he gets driven into touch. They try to take the quick throw but Jigger's having none of it and they have to do it properly this time. It goes forward off one of our heads, it looks like, and the Aston scrum half gathers and spins it out to his fly half who gets creamed by the Assassin and they have to start again, they get a drive one before releasing it on the ten metre line to the fly half who pops it to their big No.8 who breaks the line and it's Barrel showing great technique who finally brings him down and the ball goes loose; Sideways scoops it up, shrugs off the first tackle and offloads to Horse who gives the first big hand off of the day and it takes a great tackle by an Aston defender to bring him down on their twenty two, where we're harshly pinged for not releasing.

They kick for touch, the ball going out a couple of metres inside their own half. Big Phil pinches their ball and breaks through the line and has a gallop, before popping inside to Shark in support who in turn feeds Spasm who nudges it forward for a scrum to Aston. But Rick lifts up Bilbo & Shannon and once again single handedly drives Aston off their ball and Barstool picks up from the base and takes it into contact. We spin and BMT looks to go through the middle, but is held, we recycle, Johnno collects goes lateral and brings Horse in on the inside track and he carves his way through the defence to score just to the right of the posts 5-0 Very uncharacteristically Ralph misses what is in his eyes a sitter and probably in Heather's from Eastenders too, to be honest.

Nobody takes responsibility for the restart and Aston regain possession and it's a short pop to their No.8, he Lomu's the Assassin and goes through a couple more, gaining about ten metres before he's mugged by Spasm. They look to recycle then spin it as they start to put three or four good phases together, not that Rick would know as having also been Lomu'd he's having a lie down near the ten metre line. Aston make it all the way to our goal line before using skulduggery & magic we turn it over and kick to clear but it fails to find touch. Johnno chasing up his own kick makes the tackle on the receiver and the ball goes to ground and it makes like a bar of soap as nobody can seem to scoop it up cleanly. Aston finally put us out of our misery and spin it out but Fitz takes their fly half and ball bobbles forward.

We take the opportunity to fetch the woozy Rick off and after he remembered where he's left his rubber hat Crash comes on at hooker and scrums become uncontested while Rick clears his thoughts and thinks about writing his memoirs "I scrum alone". First uncontested one goes to Aston and they look to spin, their centre making a break but he's hauled down by Barrel and we get penalised I presume for one of those many laws around the tackle area. They take it quickly and Shark steps up, they recycle and their No.8 goes route one (they're beginning to look a little one dimensional here) and he gets hammered, and we turn it over, Shannon pops it out to Nev, feigns to kick but gives it to Horse, who puts in a grub hunter forward, and they run it back and Horse makes the tackle, ball looks like it's gone forward, referee signals advantage, but not enough is gained and the ref blows and decides to give us a penalty instead. Nev puts it out on their ten metre line, and the suitably refreshed Mr Lowe jogs back on and our newest stand in hooker comes off to little or no applause.

Big Phil takes it at two (did we really mix it) and we set and drive with Lucid Lowe at the back, we take it on a few, before Spasm takes in on then BMT has a go, as we reach their twenty two, we look to recycle but referees whistle goes for hands in by Aston and Nev puts it into the corner. So lineout back on their five, Horse nonchalantly drifts infield. Big Phil takes it with relative ease comes down with it and Bilbo tidies up at the back and we drive forward, Lucid has it now at the back, but their No.8 comes round, ref spots it, penalty Yards. Ball comes out to Horse, to BMT and he hits traffic, we recycle Johnno steps in flicks it out to Nev, he cuts inside, tries to find Fitz but in the process the ball is deemed to have been deliberately knocked forward by an Aston defender. Penalty Yards right on their line, we take it quickly, perhaps too quickly as the ball sails past the hands in midfield and it is left for the Assassin to scoop it up and head for the line, he makes it to within four or five metres, we regroup and it's a short pop to Alistair who crashes over 10-0. No mistake this time as Ralph slots it for a 12-0 lead.

Shannon takes the restart, spills it but it goes backward so we set and Johnno box kicks it over, the Aston fullback fields it and whistles goes as the referee deems that Shark set off on his chase a little too early, Wednesday probably, so we go back for a scrum to Aston a few metres in front of our twenty two. Their No.8 picks up and goes, he's held up in midfield so ball comes back and their fly half chips over the top and it's Horse who fields it over his shoulder, he turns and goes looks inside for support finds Ralph, but ball goes to ground for a scrum to Aston spanning our twenty two. So Lucid does his stuff and we win another against the head, ball comes to the back and Johnno's simple dip of the shoulders is enough as he draws the flanker offside, penalty Yards and Nev puts in a cracker against the breeze the ball going out on their ten metre line.

Great take by big Phil at the lineout, Johnno sends it out to Nev, who cuts out Barrel, straight to Fitz to Ralph up in the line, to Simon who lights them up and goes, plenty of work to do, and has to both hurdle the fullback who rather than tackle decides to lie down in his path instead, and duck under the winger's despairing effort, before flipping inside to Ralph on his shoulder who dots down to the left of the posts 17-0 but who fails to improve on it as the kick goes awry.

The Aston fly half decides to try something clever at the restart and his kick makes a few metres at best and obviously thinking no one's watching tries to dribble it over the ten. Scrum back on the centre spot, Nev's thinking it could happen to anyone. We split the line Nev, Fitz, Ralph Simon, one side the former Solihull duo of Barrel & Horse on the other. Scrum squeaks a bit and Barstool is forced to pick up & go, he offloads to Shark and he takes it into contact, their big lad tries to come over and it all becomes a bit messy, but we manage to get it back and Fitz punts one forward and gives chase, but the sniper on the grassy knoll hits him in his good leg just as he's about to make the tackle on the catcher. Smoking gets the call to disrobe as their scrum half weaves his way through and it's left to Barstool to save our blushes, and we all pile in, but whistle goes, penalty to Aston for going over/not releasing, take your pick.

The fly half takes it quickly and goes through the first tackle, they set and spin wide and only a good tackle by Horse driving the winger into touch in the far corner stops them from going over. Lineout to Yards on our five metre, the always sartorially elegant Smoking trots on and slots into outside centre. Marcus takes it at two, we set and drive it on until their No.8 makes a nuisance of himself and they turn it over and spin, the industrious Horse makes the tackle this time in midfield, and it goes to ground but he's penalised for handling on the deck. They take it quick, we defend as they build a couple of phases and imaginatively use their No.8 to good effect, but he's held up, they set and he has another go and again we hold him up, it's great goal line defence as they're forced to give up route one and go wide but only as far as their prop who again drives to the line and again we refuse to budge, so the referee steps in and gives them a penalty. They go wider this time and we tackle again, they have to recycle and their little prop has another go for glory and again he's denied. The ref gives another penalty and again they go short and again we hold firm, in fact from the touchline it looked to have gone forward but the ref has decided they've had enough chances doing it their way so he gives them a penalty try instead 17-5. But justice prevails as he misses the kick in front of the posts, and somewhere in amongst there we are penalised for not going back ten six metres from our line, go figure eh?.

It's a deep restart landing in their twenty two and their winger brings it out into midfield where he's scragged and we turn it over and Symes gets clothes lined into touch on their twenty two and Slow starts giving the referee advice on high tackles. Alistair's back at this point decides to go into spasm, but we're a bit short on boiler room so he has to soldier on. Again big Phil pinches their ball and he makes good yards through their line and we all pour through & pile on and spin it out; Barrel comes in on the scissors, but it's a bit static and he has to stand it up so we set. A little known fact this, Slow has given Symes carte blanche to come off his wing whenever he wants in order to burn off that boundless amount of energy he possesses so he comes in takes the pass off Johnno and using his speed goes in field and finds his fellow wingman Horse who cuts back across the grain and again carves up the middle to score under the posts 22-5 Ralph gets this one 24-5.

Both Stepmeister & BMT call for the restart, but BMT defers to his more senior colleague who promptly knocks it on. Steps obviously has a word in Lucid's ear and we drive them off their ball for a third time, but the ball gets knocked on as we takes it forward, Symes tries to clean up but ref's seen it and awards the scrum to Aston. That one goes down, so we have another go, and they spin, Johnno makes the first up tackle, so they recycle and their big fly half has a run, breaks through a couple of tackles and reaches our twenty two, where Barrel in stealth mode comes from nowhere and mugs him of the ball, but his pass to Smokes is deemed to have been deliberately knocked on by an Aston player. Penalty Yards, we take it quick, and we get another one in short order. Nev bangs it down deep and it goes out on their twenty two. Shark takes it cleanly at two, and Johnno snipes forward and gets through, he offloads to Rob who makes more yards and takes it into contact. Johnno digs it out and sends a great pass out to Nev, who dummies Barrel, passes to Smoking, he's held up, Nick takes it on and we all pile in and we spend a minute camped on top of their line, but Aston survive our onslaught as the ref blows for half time.

Half Time 24-5 Water all round, the elements now in our favour; Slow rings the changes and the General comes on for Johnno, Bean for Ralph, and Crash for the Assassin. Some great talking in the huddle as we sense this is now in the bag. The Colt Arkell & Simon "the Timelord" Davis both turn up on the touchline.

Within minutes of the restart we march it up into their half on the far side, where Shannon finds some space in which to work, he cuts inside, Shark takes the switch pass and heads for the line, straight arms the winger and goes over in the corner 29-5. Nev goes close but not close enough but we know it's game over as far as we're concerned.

Shortly after we all know what happened off the ball, and game was rightly abandoned.

Final Score 29-5 (Pools panel result 46-5)

A first half where we largely dominated throughout, with some of the best rugby we've played all season, with Aston hanging in by the skin of their ref's fingernails but ultimately a game marred by the unprovoked violence of the Aston No.8 and I hope that his Club Disciplinary Committee do the right thing.

Here's a very unscientific fact, six of our socks will require repairs due to stud damage, which I think demonstrates the physical nature of the forward battle; so a special mention to our Eight who drove their opposition off their own ball three times in the first half, and who provided such good ball for the Creative Department to work with.

Remember Annual Club Dinner tickets are available from me though already I only have seven left of my allocation, where hot food and an opportunity to see that well known herbalist and thin lipped orator Martin Corry awaits.

Also we have the Beer & Balti night on the 26th February please try to attend, the curry's being made by proper chefs, with lots of poppadum smashing, bring the wife, girlfriend or lover, we need your money, and you'll still be home in time to see Match of the Day . Please try and support Chris Rhodes in this one he's put a lot of work into organising it. Tickets are £8.00 from me.

Slow

Under 8s & 7s Away match against Old Salts

Sun, 13 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

A wet and windy morning provided the backdrop to our visit to Old Saltleians. Old Salts have had an impressive run of form so far this season, so we knew it was going to be a difficult challenge for us. The twelve boys available for selection were formed loosely into an older more experienced A side and a less seasoned B side with some interchange between the two. We then played 4 halves of 10 minutes alternating between the A and B side. The A side were up first and boy were they up for it! With in the first few minutes they had scored two tries and taken six tags from the well-drilled Old Salts. As both Yards and Salts parents commented this was the best rugby we had seen all season. The half ended 3-2 to Old Yards with tries from Josh H, Ollie and Alex. The B side took over and continued the try scoring. However, Old Salts started to regain some of their composure and ended the half ahead by 4 tries to 3 with Ellis, Alex and Charlie taking the tries for Old Yards. The A side returned. The scoreline was once again 3-2 to Old Yards with jinking runs leading to tries from Josh H and Ollie. The third try went to Archie with his greyhound-like run leaving Old Salts standing. Cold and tiredness were starting to take their toll in the final half, but the boys were enjoying themselves making it hard to find volunteers to leave the pitch. The score ended 4-2 to Old Salts with tries from Ollie and Josh H. Overall, it was a marvellous performance against the toughest opposition we have faced this season. We won one of the matches and Old Salts the other so a fantastic result. The quality of rugby is going from strength to strength. The Old Salts coach commented that Yards were the best opposition they had faced all season, our win being their first loss of the season, well done all!

Tamworth 3rds v Vandals - 12th March 2011 - hidden match report

Saturday 12th March and our twenty fourth game of the season saw in in action over at Wiggington Park to play our third match of the season against Tamworth 3rds.

In the mere mortals this week a welcome return to Shannon "Steps" Killarney, birthday boy, sexagenarian (yes that is a real word) & Club President Steven Walter Sidwell, with Rick "Swing" Lowe switching to tighthead, in the second row Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn & Rupert "the Major" Young, with Nick "the Assassin" Levey and Chris "Crash" Rowe on the flanks with Rob "Barstool" Bastock tying the bums together at No.8.

Amongst the Gods Phil "the General" Evans at scrum half alongside Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, Nick "Blind Date" Palmer partnering Gary "Smokin" Williams in midfield, with wings Phil "Horse" Watson and Sean " Bean" Byrne, with Dave "Ralph" Rollins tidying up the rubbish at fullback.

A compact & bijou bench this week (with both Ones & Twos calling on our experience) in Alan "the Colt" Arkell, Simon "Sideways" Singleton & Captain Slow
.
As a birthday present Sid took the metaphorical captain's armband and won the toss and decided to play against the slight breeze and up the gentle slope in the first half.

Tamworth's kick off evades all our hands and they secure possession, and immediately a familiar face in their second row big Andy takes it on close, breaks the first tackle, offloads to their flanker who again takes it close. We defend as Tamworth build the phases and again the second row comes through, then one of the youngsters and finally we stop them on our twenty two and we counter-ruck aggressively and the ball dies, the whistle goes for an attacking put in at the scrum. It's a bit of a feed but they get away with it then spin fly half to his inside centre (& someone our age) Andy Jones who has a go and breaks the first tackle, but is felled almost immediately by Nick Levey and Barstool gets it off the deck and goes on a trundle and makes good ground before being tackled. Barrel scoops it up but his onward pass is deemed forward.

Scrum then to Tamworth a few metres midway between our twenty two and ten metre lines, they get away with a knock on at the base and the young No.8 picks up and goes, he offloads to big Andy, then former skipper Graham Hakes then has a go as they get inside our twenty two, he offloads back to his partner in crime Andy but he's tackled by Chris Crash. Again they recycle as our warm-up continues as they build up the phases before spinning it out into midfield where Smokin' makes the tackle and Barrel strips away the ball and passes to the General who box kicks over the top and Sean gives chase. The Tamworth youngster takes it cleanly and just about evades Barstool but is double teamed by BMT & Horse instead and it's Smokin' who steals it and goes, he gets through a couple but he's finally brought down though the Gods smile as Tamworth are penalised for not releasing in the tackle.

Ralph takes the kick and reaches the halfway line. Big Phil takes it cleanly at four and Rick tidies up and we drive it on, it's a good one as we cross their ten metre line, and then Rob splinters in field and is mugged and Tamworth turn it over and kick ahead but it goes straight into touch for a lineout to Yards just a few metres outside their twenty two. We throw to two, it goes a little awry but we manage to secure it and Phil sends it out to Nev he brings Barrel in on his first scissors of the day and he goes clean through the middle, he's finally stopped but again we are fortunate as Tamworth are penalised for coming over the top. We kick to the corner, the ball going out about twelve metres from their goal line. The throw goes to the back and drifts off course and ref decides for a scrum to Tamworth, at which point one of their youngsters appears to walk off in a strop. When asked by Slow he confides that it was because as a flanker he was being asked to play centre, mind in fairness I wouldn't like Barrel running at me either.

We put their scrum under pressure and it starts to turn and the nine puts it up and not for the last time in the match finds Horse and off he goes, cuts lateral, passes to Smokin' who goes into traffic, Barrel's there to him offloads and Horse takes the pass and makes a break, passes back to Barrel who takes it to ground, we set, the General sells a great dummy and goes, gets through the first couple and it takes a fine tackle to stop him with the line only six or seven metres away, we look to recycle but Tamworth infringe and come offside.

Captain Sid for the second time this season opts for the kick at goal, Slow goes mental, the air turns blue and Ralph bangs it over 3-0.

Big Phil takes the restart and sets off in characteristic fashion and reaches the halfway line before he's held up, we drive over and Crash gets the opportunity to have a run and he makes good yards before going to ground, ball is locked in there so we get the scrum. Rob picks up and goes blind finds Sean but he's driven into touch by the cover defence. In what turns out to be their only real potent set piece weapon they take the ball at two, set and drive, then spin but Nev makes a great interception and sets off for glory, but has an attack of self doubt en route and chips ahead but it goes over the try line and the Tamworth defence dot it down for a drop out twenty two.

From there they kick it direct into touch, so we go back for a scrum on the twenty two, ref doesn't like the first attempt and we have another go, and Rob picks up and goes, he makes progress in the manner of Singleton before passing to Barrel who finds BMT who gets held up on the Tamworth line. We recycle and go again but the Tamworth defence holds firm and we go in a somewhat southerly direction losing a few metres before Tamworth concede a penalty for offside and we kick to the corner the ball going out about six metres from their line. Sid's throw goes over the top and it's taken by that renowned jumper Levey, but the ref decides it wasn't straight and the birthday boy looks on in disgust.

So scrum to Tamworth about five metres out from their line. A good strong shove from us puts the Tamworth Eight under pressure and it starts to wheel, the scrum half passes to the fly half as they try to run from behind their goal line but he's forced to dot down under pressure from Chris Crash and the General. So scrum to Yards five metres out, they try to spoil it and Rob has to pick up and go, he only makes a metre or so before weight on numbers bring him down and we try to recycle but ref's whistle goes as Tamworth come over/hands in/tackler not releasing, take your pick. We line up in what looks like a practised penalty move and Shannon takes the short pass off the General and goes through the middle of them to "score", but the whistle has gone the referee deciding that his own positioning has given "Steps" a bit of an advantage (possibly Shannon brushed him on the way through) so we have to settle for an attacking scrum.

Rob picks up again and offloads in the tackle to Chris, we recycle and the General comes away with it and offloads to an unsuspecting Rick, who returns the favour to an equally unsuspecting General and the ref blows and gives a scrum to Tamworth for something I've obviously missed. The first one looks to have gone down, but ref seems happy until Barstool points something out to him and whistle goes and this time we get the put in, shove on and turn it slightly as Chris or Rob picks up (sorry couldn't see) and takes it into contact. Ralph comes in at scrum half and ships to Nev, he does a step and comes round the back, pops one out the back of his hand to Rick, way too clever for Rick but it doesn't go forward and he regathers and passes to Shannon who sells one (oh how we've missed the theatre) not many takers so we have to set and Barstool steadies the ship the ball protected under his not too inconsiderable a frame. The General relieves him of the ball and passes to Nev, to Barrel to Smokin', who tries to go himself, gets tackled but still manages to pop it off the deck to Horse who rumbles over from close range about five or six metres in from the posts 8-0. Then something I can't recall ever seeing before as one of the Tamworth whipper snappers hares out and manages to get a hand to Ralph's conversion attempt and it's deflected wide.

The restart comes to Shannon via the floor, and we set and drive, five metres then ten, with good body positions then we spin, General to Nev to Barstool on his shoulder and he bounces a couple before he's stopped and the General sends it out again to Nev to Barrel to Smokin' to Ralph in the line, to Horse and he's finally driven out by one their seniors just outside their twenty two. They shuffle their line backwards, we watch admiringly on and the ball goes long and straight in to the hands of Barstool who takes it to the deck and the Major digs it out for the General who ships it to Nev, to Barrel and it's a long pass out which goes to ground. Ralph's on it but a Tamworth player's on him and the whistle goes, we think for not letting Ralph get up but no, the ref's seen something else, possibly a forward pass and awards Tamworth the scrum. The No.8 picks up, it looks like someones tried to take Chris off the ball, but he hasn't seen that either and gives Tamworth a penalty on their ten metre line.

They kick for position the ball going out a few metres outside our twenty two. They secure at two and drive it on a few metres at which point Rob's penalised for coming in from the side. Hakesy takes it quickly and they get another ten for not retreating quickly enough, this penalty putting them five or six metres from our line. They put it in the corner, and take it at two but we get a good nudge on and stall their advance, Chris and Rob standing guard. the ball goes to ground and Tamworth are forced to move it via their big second row but again or defence is firm and it goes to ground and then Rob goes mountaineering and he and the ref have a little chat. Again they put it into the corner and go with a shortened line, they take at two and drive again and get over the line and it goes down, but he can't give it if he can't see it and they have to settle for a scrum on the five.

The No.8 picks up and he's hit first by Nick and then Rob and the ball goes to ground, at which point the whistle goes and the ref has a chat with Barstool and one of their guys who appear to be having some fun and games. Rob protests his innocence. But it's another scrum to Tamworth, but the ball squirts out and the General picks up, but we have to go again as it's come out the side. This one Sid wins against the head, and the General ships it out to Nev in the in goal area, who tries a step but is caught and has to dot it down and we're back to square one, scrum five. We wheel it round 180 and we get the put in. The ball comes shooting out the back and their No.8's on it like a flash and the General makes the tackle, but they recycle and Nick Levey makes the first up tackle, then Sid as we refuse to budge, finally the monotony is relieved when the General disagrees with the ref as to what's out at the back. Thankfully Tamworth take the pot at goal 8-3

Nev's restart finds Hakesy's shin pads and he gathers and pops it to his mate big Andy who's brought down by Chris and they set then spin, we spread and it's Rick who takes the ball carrier a little high and Barstool finishes the job and we turn it over. The General digs it out and ships it to Shannon, to Chris Crash, to Horse who sets off and goes over to score his second wide out 13-3 Conversion missed, but that's the last real meaningful action of the first half.

Halftime 13-3 Sid has some stern words (as leadership has clearly gone to his head) then Slow has his two penneth worth, mainly about over complicating the essentials and slowing things down a touch .

We start the second half with fourteen men Barstool having dislocated his thumb, and he has to await the man from the St Arkell's Ambulance to go get some insulating tape from the changing rooms.

Nev's restart goes deep dropping in front of the Tamworth twenty two, evades any contact and bounces into touch for a Tamworth lineout. Nurse Arkell arrives and Rob's running repairs begin, but we have to continue to compete with a man short.

Tamworth take it cleanly at two and drive it on a few metres before we decide they've had enough forward progress and mysteriously the maul goes to ground and they're forced to spin and their inside centre comes in on a scissors and Nev takes a nice hand off but still gets enough of a tackle to bring him down but we're quickly penalised for my hands in the ensuing ruck.

Tamworth opt to kick for touch the ball going out on our ten. Again they take it at two despite the Major's best efforts and they set and drive but with good body positions we stall their forward momentum and they have to spin, ball comes out to the fly half, to inside centre who pops it to another one of their seniors popping up in the line and Ralph puts in a cruncher and the ball comes free and Bean picks up and goes and makes good ground before getting stopped. Smokin' and Barrel are to him first and Nick Levey's in at scrum half and he takes in on a yard before getting stopped and their skipper is pinged for not releasing, and Nev puts it into touch the ball going out on their twenty two. Sid being more than generous throws it over the heads of the Tamworth line and big Phil has to stretch over their side to take it, but the ref decides this is not straight, despite the fact in my mind that we have given them more than enough of a chance of catching it than BMT.

No matter then, scrum to Tamworth on their twenty two, scrum half picks up but goes lateral, then opts for the kick pass to Horse who powers up and from the touchline it looks like none of the youngsters are interested as they make like the Red Sea and it's left to Hakesy I think to finally make the tackle but Horse pops it of the deck to Crash who takes it into contact and we set. General ships it out to Nev to Smokin' to Barrel (yes in that order) to Ralph as we hit their twenty two. He's held and it goes to ground and the Major goes short, makes a metre gets tackled and then someone comes in (sorry didn't see) and clears two Tamworth forwards out completely, the General passes out to Smokin', he's on his jack so does a step to buy some time, passes to Rick who more by luck than judgement finds Sean who takes it on.

We set, Barrel comes in at scrum half and passes to Nev and he kicks ahead, but it's a club or two too heavy as it goes dead for a twenty two drop out. Luck's on our side though as two Tamworth players are in front of the kick and we come back for a scrum to us on the twenty two and in front of the posts. Barstool picks up and goes, he's held by Hakesy but he gets the ball away to Phil and he sends it out, Barrel goes through the middle. He's stopped, short pop by the General to Chris and he's keeps the legs pumping and makes good ground, before presenting the ball back, where the General picks up but there's no one outside and has to back himself but is forced to go to ground, and the referee spots something and awards Tamworth a scrum.

So scrum to Tamworth five metres inside their twenty two we go for the wheel and the General harries his man but he manages to get it away to his fly half who punts down field and Ralph takes it on the hoof and breaks through the first tackle but is brought down by the next, he presents it and BMT picks it up and goes, he's stopped ball goes to ground and whistle goes as Tamworth come in from the side. Ralph takes it quick offloads to Barstool who takes it into contact but it's spilled and goes loose, and eventually a Tamworth player decides on another kick pass to Horse and he winds it up gives a hint of a dummy and goes over five or six metres in from the touchline 18-3. Ralph gives it a good go but is unsuccessful.

The restart cannons off Rupert's manly chest but he takes it at the second attempt and then goes to ground and we drive over, the General's seen there's nobody at home and he puts a neat box kicks over for Bean to chase but it bounces cruelly and goes into touch for a lineout to Tamworth just on their ten metre line. They take at two (probably the best part of their game getting their young stripling aerial) and spin and the ball finds their mature but quick inside centre Andy (who reminds me of Kendo) who takes it on a yard before passing to his younger partner who runs into Smokin' & and is dispossessed by Barrel. Ball comes out Nev sees that his midfield duo are hard at it so comes blind and finds Ralph who pops it to Horse, back to Ralph, to Smokin' who 360's his man passes to the General who feeds Barstool and he goes over under the posts for the best try of the day 23-3 Ralph gets the easy conversion (no conversions are easy I hear Rick & Balders say) 25-3

Sean Byrne comes off and Sideways whose been moaning, muttering and champing at the bit since kick off finally gets his opportunity.

It's a deep restart from the Tamworth fly half and he finds Big Phil who sets off and breaks through the first couple of tackles before getting stopped, and we set, ball comes to the back with Chris and then Rupert and we spin, General to Nev to Barstool, to Barrel who makes the break before wanging a long one out to Ralph who chips a great kick into the corner and forces them to play it virtually on their goal line, which they do, Symes is there tracking his man and Tamworth are forced to kick deep. It drops over Nev's head who misjudges it brilliantly, but still has the time to collect, regain his composure and weigh up his options, essentially just the one and he passes to Smokin' who has to do the hard work and stand it up (does the phrase hospital pass mean anything?).

The General relieves him and puts one up and over the top, and they take it cleanly and try to come forward and Barrel makes the tackle. They recycle, spin and one of their youngsters makes a few yards before he's tackled by the General and Barrel, they set and Tamworth's big Andy takes it close, we tackle then stand off, Hakesy's next to have a go, and he runs into Sid. They set and spin but it's a poor pass out and they opt for another kick pass to Horse who takes it just outside our twenty two, he skips his man and passes to Simon playing sweeper, he breaks the first tackle and pops inside to Barrel, who flattens his man, then offloads to Crash who finds Symes inside who evades the first tackle, looks like he's felled by the second, but is not held and up he gets, gasses what's left of the cover and goes in to score under the posts 30-3. Ralph makes it a seven pointer 32-3.

Barstool comes off and the Colt Arkell comes on and Rupe's not daft and sticks him in the second row.

Shortly after the restart we secure good steady ball from a scrum and Nev calls a "suicide" (that forwards is one of those clever pieces of trickery that sadly the clever intricacies I cannot divulge over the air) but ball eventually finds Ralph who draws his man before passing to Sideways who gasses the fullback, ignores the support and goes under the posts 37-3. Straight forward conversion for Ralph 39-3 (I will give you Simon's original version of his second try in his own modest words "ran past lots and scored at three quarter pace with a couple of mesmeric sidesteps and acceleration of an extremely fast rugby player") what a guy!

The flood gates well and truly open now as the young Tamworth heads start to drop and oddly take off their two combative olduns Graham & Andy and our seventh try is scored in fairly short order after the restart by Ralph wide out , following a flowing move involving in Ralph's words "slick hands by many and I had the ball to score" 44-3. C onversion missed.

Nick Levey comes off to begin his journey down to Twickenham, which ends in a "lock in" in a nice Irish bar until three in the morning, and Slow finally comes on just in time to chase Horse over the try line for what looks like his fourth of the day but he unselfishly offloads over the Tamworth try line to Chris in support who dots it down to cap a fine display 49-3. The conversion and chance to pass the fifty mark is fluffed by Rick .

On the walk back Tamworth have a quiet word in the ref's ear, they've had enough and he blows for time about ten minutes early , just as Slow's starting to get going...bloody typical.

Final Score 49-3 Final Age 664.

Please no more disrespecting the opposition by unauthorised pots at goal by unelected kickers with a number on their back of less than 8 (and before you say anything Barstool has a couple of conversions to his name already this season)!!

Man in the dirtiest shirt this week goes to Chris Crash who appeared to take Slow's advice on board and ran with it a bit more rather than trying to tackle everything that moved .

Tom Guise

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 13:36:01 GMT

Tom Guise

Reports are coming through of the death of Tom Guise, a popular former player and club member. As more news arrives we will do our best to keep you informed. May he rest in peace.

Match reports

These seem to be of less importance but I will give a brief review of last weekend's games.

First XV

Making the trip to unbeaten Upton our boys could not spoil the host clubs 100% record. Even the eventual arrival of Pete the fridge failed to stem the tide and the final result was a defeat by 8-41.

Development XV

Also on the Upton trek, our young lads with a number of players missing were soundly defeated with Luke and Tom T. being our only points scorers in a heavy defeat.

Vandals XV

With much tougher opponents in Spartans 2nds our more senior lads were fully tested but still won, but by a much smaller margain than normal. Tries by Phil W., Rob, the secret Arsenal fan, Bastock and Young Simon plus 2 cons by Ralph were just about enough to see us win by 19-10

See the full Vandals match report below.

Minis and Juniors

Our minis were on training and the under 14s played host to Spartans. In a short comment manager Nigel Walker suggested that although the lads lost, the overall performance was much improved.
Our under 15s faced the prospect of a much tougher encounter than normal when they made the short journey down Haslucks Green Road to our traditional rivals, Camp Hill. It doesn't happen very often but our lads richly deserved their away victory by 29-16. Although Camp's fly-half Ben Love, another product of tthe STA rugby academy was in supreme goalkicking form, he could do little to prevent our boys from scoring 5 excellent tries. Particularly outstanding for the visitors was the front-row of Tyrell, Josh Purdy and Sam Arkell for their work in the scrums and in open play.

Fixtures

This coming weekend provisionally features the following matches,

Saturday (2.15)

First XV   v   Harbury away   league
Dev XV   v   Ason Old Es   away
Vandals    v   Aston Old Eds home

Sunday (11.00)

Under 7/8s   v   Old Saltleians   away
Under 15s    v   Bromsgrove    away

Friend of the club

Down at Camp Hill last sunday saw the last game as the home team under 15 coach of Andy Carry. With his son Reece moving on to a higher level, Andy also felt it was time to move on. Good luck mate with your touch/tag rugby and our best wishes to you, Nat and Reece. If ever you are passing the Old Ys drop in and see us and who knows, there might be a drink for you.

Vandals v Spartans 2nds

Saturday 5th February 2010 and a whole calender year since our last defeat found us up against (as it now transpires) Spartans 2nds, having originally accepted the challenge of their unbeaten Vets side at Tilehouse Lane and with Spartans playing in the division above our own a very tough prospect indeed. With conditions best described as wet 'n wild, and following advice from our resident meteorologist Ralph we opted for the vast expanse of the first team pitch in order to move our younger opponents about a bit!!

A new look front row in ever present loosehead Shannon "Steps" Killarney, Greg "the Knife" Allen and Rick "Swing" Lowe at tighthead, in the second row stunt skipper John Lonie and Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn, and on the flanks Nick "the Assassin" Levey and Rob "Barstool" Bastock on the flanks with Alistair "Ali G" Gouldbourn at No.8.

Out in the Turkish Bath this week Iain "Johnno" Johnson at scrum half partnering Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, with centres Nick "Barrel" Palmer & Tony "Fitz" Fitzgerald; on the wings Phil "Horse" Watson & Simon "Slippery" Singleton with Dave "Ralph" Rollins at fullback.

On the sofa this week Alan "the Colt" Arkell, Andy "Fred" Killarney, Dave "Squealer" Howlett, Gary "Smoking" Williams, Chris "Crash" Rowe, Captain Slow and having been abandoned by the Development side Sean "Bean" Byrne.

Captain Lonie wins the toss and implementing Einstein's unified beer theory opts to play towards the Clubhouse in the second half.
So Spartans kick off and it's a deep one into our twenty two, it's fielded off the deck by Johnno who pops it to Barstool and he goes searching for traffic and bludgeons his way through the first three would be tacklers before we set and Johnno puts a wind assisted box kick over the top and it goes out a metre or so outside the Spartans twenty two. Lineout Spartans, they throw to two and come down with it, their scrum half snipes down the narrow side but he's caught by BMT, and they have to set, ball comes out to the fly half who kicks to touch. But Mr Ian Roberts our referee for the day, resplendent in his baseball cap (a first for me) spots that he took it back into his twenty two so what little ground he made is erased, and we are awarded the lineout on the twenty two line.

Knife hits BMT cleanly at four, we set and then we drive, Barstool peels off infield and takes it into contact, Steps is up next and he gets to within six or seven metres of the Spartans line, we set and Johnno looks to spin, but the ref blows for hands in/coming over right in front of the posts. Most teams would opt for the sitter but not us and Johnno takes it quickly to Nev and out it goes through fast hands to Slippery and he goes over in the corner 5-0. In the howling gale Ralphs conversion goes wide.

Restart again finds Johnno, who feeds the Horse who puts one over the top, and it's fielded at the second attempt by their hooker who sets off into midfield, then spins it and the receiver is brought down by the Assassin and we all pile in, but we're pinged for not releasing. They try to take it quickly, but the ref's having none of it, and with the element of surprise gone they elect to kick to touch, but make little progress in the head wind the ball going out a metre or so inside our half. Greg's up at two and tries to spoil but Spartans come down with it, ball goes to ground and they have to set again. We spread out, then counter ruck but we're pinged for coming in from the side. They kick but it doesn't find touch but Horse instead and he sets off, hands off the first couple, comes into midfield and passes to Ralph, he's tackled but pops it up off the deck to Nev who has to stand it up, so the 677 gather round, Barstool peels away with it and goes through the first couple and big Phil takes it on next and breaks through the line, gets held, Johnno gets it away to Horse standing at centre, who finds Shannon but ball goes to ground, looks like it's gone backwards but Mr Roberts disagrees and gives the game's first scrum to Spartans midway between the halfway line and our ten. Steady scrum by Spartans, ball comes out scrum half and fly half go blind but the fly half knocks it on into touch for a throw in to Yards.

We fluff our lines and the Spartan's hooker takes the errant flap down, and they set, drive and the scrum half spins the ball out to their big fly half who pops an inside pass, but Barstool takes the runner and they knock it on as they try to set. Scrum to Yards just inside our ten metre line, we hold firm and Johnno whips it out to to Nev who fires one down into the half; the fullback looks to have knocked on but gets away with it and he starts to run, and cuts through our midfield and it's Barstool who scrags him in the end and we all line up in defence, they look to recycle and scrum half chips over the top and the ball goes out seven or eight metres from our line, for a throw in to Yards. Lonie takes it safely at two and we set, before Rob splinters away with it and creams the Spartans scrum half in the process, Nick's first to the breakdown but ref's whistle goes for the tackler not releasing (meanwhile the scrum half's taking a while to get back on his feet). Ralph puts the kick long the ball going out just on the halfway line.
Ball comes in evades big Phil's hands but it's cleared up by Rob at the back, and we all go on the trundle first right then left as we counter Spartans' efforts to halt our progress, the ball's safe at the back now (unlike when England do it) and in Rick's hands as we change the direction of the maul to counter the defensive effort. Rick hands over to Ali G at the back and Barstool standing off takes the short pop, he offloads to Lonie who takes a great catch off his size twelve's and we all pile in as do they, but again we are undone by the ref who gives Spartans a penalty midway between their twenty two and ten metre lines. The fly half though just about makes the halfway line. Big Phil's unlucky not to pluck it out the air, as Spartans come down with it and spin straight it out into midfield where the Assassin takes the inside centre and we pile in and this time Spartans are penalised for coming over the top. Great kick by Ralphy the ball going out about ten metres from their line, and the Knife hits BMT at four and Johnno takes it off the top and wangs it out to Nev and barrel comes on his first pair of the day and breaks the gain line and takes it into contact, we set round him and Horse comes and lends his weight to it, Johnno digs it out and looks to spin but there's nobody at home so he has to go it alone, gives a flea flicker out the back of his hand to Ali G who gains more yards, and keeps on going he goes to ground and Spartans come over, penalty Yards. We take it quickly but the pass to Alistair is deemed forward so scrum to Spartans about fifteen metres out from their line. And the first wounded Spartan trudges off. Looks like foot up but they get away with it but we "unintentionally" wheel the scrum round the 180 whistle goes and we get the put in.
The pressure of our eight begins to tell as Spartans intentionally wheel and concede a penalty about twenty metres out in front of the posts and once again they turn their backs expecting us to take the easy option but Barstool has other ideas as he retrieves the ball, jogs back to the mark and takes the quick one in front of Mr Roberts and runs through the middle of them with Shannon & Lonie in hot pursuit to score just to the left of the posts 10-0 Ralph makes no mistake 12-0 (this one's on Facebook).
One restart, two quick penalties and a couple of scrums later Spartans are awarded a penalty about five metres from our line for collapsing the last one; they load the right hand side side (Captains note: that's a hint) and with only Shannon & I think one other opposite them, strangely enough they come that way and score about a metre in from the corner 12-5 The kick goes no where near, but still game on.
It's a good long restart which drops inside their twenty two, they bring it forward but we hold them on their twenty two, with tackles coming in from Greg & Nick, they continue to try and play themselves out of it, as we counter ruck and John showing his footie skills for the second week running manages to get a foot to it, kicking it through, the Spartans player doesn't make much of an effort to get off his arse with it, but ref allows play to go on as they recycle and spin and continue trying to bring it out the hard way, Nev makes the next tackle then Barrel and we turn it over, Nick takes it and gets a real fizzer and has a lie down for a bit to collect his thoughts and lungs. The ball goes forward off the tackler so we get the scrum, ball comes out we go blind but Slippery knocks on.
Scrum Spartans five metres outside the twenty two. Again our eight put the wheel on but their scrum half digs it out and is forced to box kick it over, Ralph traps it with his feet and puts his own sand wedge over the top but it's too long and is dotted down for a drop out to Spartans. They look to take it quickly but change their minds, they look to kick long towards the 2nd team pitch but then kick short right, clever bit of play in fairness, but undone by a knock on almost immediately after. Scrum Yards, our turn to feel the squeeze as we go back half a yard, their scrum half comes round, whistle goes, looks like offside but bizarrely the ref gives the penalty to Spartans.They take it quickly into midfield and Fitzy cleaves his man in half and gets a Brucie Bonus as the ball goes forward in the tackle.
So it's a scrum midway between the ten and the twenty two, and again the Spartans eight put ours under pressure and Ali G is forced to pick up at the base, and gives a big loopy pass to Ralph, which gives the defence plenty of time and Ralph knocks it on in the tackle. (Captain's note: did I not mention loop passes!). Scrum Spartans, the first one breaks up, and we have another go, steadier this time, scrum half to fly half he does a step but it doesn't fool the Assassin who nails him, Alistair's net to him, Spartans look to set, as the "enthusiastic" Barstool is pinged for coming in from the side.
The wind is now howling into the face of the fly half as he kicks for touch, the ball going out just inside their half. Greg's up an hour early, but it obviously puts the Spartans' hooker off as Lonie takes it, and we all drive over; Johnno picks up and Shannon takes it on the burst, bish bash, Alistair clears them out, then Rob takes it on and makes more yards, Rick picks up, offloads to big Phil, he takes it into contact and again Alistair clears them out, Barrel's snook in there somehow and he takes it on another yard, Johnno looks to go short but he gets clobbered but manages to offload it, then carries on having a cuddle with his tackler. Barrel stands in at scrum half, and he takes it on again. Lonie's to him, then Nick and we set, short pass to Rob, he breaks the line, and we're about twenty metres from their line, he pops it to BMT, does a step and comes inside, looking for his brother as he goes into contact and they come tumbling over, penalty Yards. We take it quickly and Horse would have scored, had the ref not decided to come back for injured Spartans.
We have another go but get turned over, they run a couple of phases before getting a penalty from which they kick to touch the ball going out about fifteen metres from their line. They look as if they've secure their own ball but Barstool comes away with it wannabe scrum half Barrel's in there again but he's overruled by Johnno, and we spin wide to Horse and he gets to within ten metres of their line before getting tackled but we're penalised for handling on the deck. Spartans look to clear but only as far as their twenty two. Greg's up at two tries his best to spoil but they come down with it and we're done again for coming in from the side. Again with the wind in his face the Spartans' fly half only makes seven or eight metres. The throw comes in and Greg makes contact and Rick clears up, but whistle goes again for a scrum to Spartans. Then we get pinged for a deliberate wheel, Spartans simply grateful to eat up the clock with each of our misdemenours, again it's the fly half making seven or eight metres. At which point Mr Lonie & Mr Roberts have a deep & meaningful conversation. Spartans opt for a three man line which initially confuses us somewhat, so Shannon, Phil & John line up, and pile through and the Spartans' scrum half knocks on in the tackle. Ref plays advantage, we recycle and ball finds Ralph who kicks over with pinpoint accuracy the ball going out a metre from their line.
Spartans don't panic and secure it at two and drive the jumper on, we give them some space and the ball goes to ground at which point the ref's baseball cap finally gets blown off, and the scrum half digs the ball out and punts it into touch, ref blows for half time in order to retrieve his cap.

Half time 12-5 Drinks all round and just the one change young Arkell coming on for the younger Barstool. Still much to do now as the breeze is in our faces, and one of the Spartans remarks it's a twenty point wind. Lots of chat in the huddle all with a differing view but all realising that the penalty count is killing us.

Its a steady scrum Johnno ships it out to Nev who brings Barrel in on the scissors and he carves straight through, looks like he going all the way, but get's brought down about fifteen metres from the line, pops it up but his searing break has also left the support for dead and the Spartan fly half hacks it forward but only in to the arms of Nev, who seeing nothing on puts in an excellent kick that goes out on the Spartans twenty two. The throw comes in and it's the Colt Arkell who takes it at five or six and we set, Johnno sends it out to Nev and Slippery comes in off his wing and cuts in field, but it goes loose in midfield and their speedster centre picks up and sets off and makes great ground evading tackle after tackle, gets past our ten metre line before spinning it out to his centre partner, who finds their fly half but it's a poor pass and with our cover arriving he has no option but to welly it into touch. They win our ball and it comes out to the fly half who pops one back inside, but they make no real ground and we all pile in, they set, they're midway between the halfway and our ten metre line, its all gone a bit static and their nine puts an excellent box kick over the top and it goes out just in front of our line. Chris Rowe comes on for the industrious Nick Levey and Gary Williams comes on for Tony Fitz.

So it's a lineout five metres from our line, throw comes in and it's knocked forward by us and then by them. Scrum Spartans same distance, balls at the back and Johnno's over their nine like a rash, he's tap tackled by Johnno as he makes the pass, it's a loopy one and Chris "Crash" makes an immediate impact and we drive them off it, we spin comes to Nev he's caught and we're pinged again for coming in from the side Ali G this time. They take it quick and again Chris bladders the fly half, but he manages to offload to one of the second rows so Barrel gets him, they're centre field ten metres so out they shift it wide, looks a certain score but Horse is there to save the day and ball goes out, though deflected off a Yards player. Throw to Spartans, they throw short, too short and we get the free kick to clear our lines. The wind keeps it in and it drops around halfway their fullback takes it and sends it back with interest, Symes goes back for it turns the corner and sets off with it, he's almost clothes lined, so we set and BMT takes it on with first Crash in support and then his little brother Al and going forward we win the scrum. Alistair picks up from the base and goes, looks for someone to pass to and it's Symes who cuts inside, and does a step, gets over halfway before he's stopped, Arks clears the Spartans scrum half out the way as only he can, BMT's there, Johnno sends it out to Nev, does a step, looks for support, and comes back to the relative warmth of the forwards.

There's a bit of pushing & shoving between the grown ups and the ref takes the easy option and blows up and awards us a scrum. Difficult ball for Johnno to take as it comes rifling out, he spins to Nev and our mercurial fly half dummies first Barrel then Smoking and gives the perfect flat pass to Horse at full tilt moreorless on the halfway line and he carves his way through the Spartans defence to score under the posts 17-5 Still a tough kick for Ralph given the gale blowing in his face, so he gives it a real leathering 19-5.

Long deep restart finds big Phil he takes it a few yards and his brother comes to him, and the 677 gather round but somehow we lose it forward, and ref plays advantage and Spartans come away with it, the ball comes to their fleet footed young centre who makes good ground before his pass to the winger finds touch instead. They steal at the line and ball comes out to the fly half who tries to cut back inside and gets Chris Rowe again, they recycle and ball comes out into midfield where it gets knocked forward in the tackle by a Yards player. Spartans scrum just inside our ten metre line, they spin their two quick centres again make good ground before big Phil makes the tackle about five or six metres from our line; and again we're penalised for coming in from the side. They spin quickly and the fly half not having the best of days throws a forward pass, scrum Yards about twelve metres out. Steady ball and Ralph puts one over the top, doesn't find touch but doesn't bounce either and Smoking's first to it, he gets up Ali G in support, we recycle, Dewi Palmer in at scrum half and he goes route one, goes to ground and we drive over, Rick picks up and goes but the whistle's gone.

Andy comes on for hard working John, and Shannon assumes command. Ball comes out cleanly and we clear to touch. Spartans throw comes in, but it goes to ground and Rick's in like a flash and toe pokes it forward and their winger obligingly knocks it on, and we make ten metres in the process. Scrum Yards, Alistair picks up and goes but loses it in contact and they spin, but Smoking clatters his man in midfield and the ball spills loose, Horse picks up and tries to get moving, but there are too many around him. Referee sees something and blows, penalty Yards close to the ten metre line and not for the first time the ref has a word with the No.16.

Ralph doesn't find touch, but the fullback does his impression of the dying fly and whilst making no real attempt to get up Symes & Smoking are the ones penalised about eight metres from their line. They kick to clear their lines, and a couple of lineouts and scrums later they've worked their way up the touchline to a position just outside our twenty two. Barrel makes way for Dave Howlett in his first outing in a couple of seasons. The game's becoming a bit of a war of attrition now as Spartans look for a way though.

Scrum yards, we're under pressure and Johnno improvises and flips it between his legs to Simon who sets off on one of his mazy specials from inside our twenty two, and keeps going past the ten before hoofing it further up field and it's a foot race, their fullback goofs it and Squealer's to him first, we're deep inside the Spartans twenty two, but whistle goes I think for not releasing. They try to run it out from their twenty two, we spread and defend, they get to just inside their ten metre and ball goes to ground, penalty, we feel their No.16 is all over it and vent our spleens as does the touchline, and we're marched back ten, then another, and another, Mr Roberts gleefully giving the verbal gesture all the way.

The final ten minutes becomes a trial of defensive strength for both sides in deteriorating conditions as Spartans press hard to get back into the game; and whilst Spartans did manage another unconverted try to bring the score to 19-10 it was only a consolation as they never really threatened to overtake our lead.

Final Score 19-10 Final age 641 maintaining our average of an average age of 43.

Captains note: one thing we got pinged for throughout the game was for coming in from the side, I've got at least four or five on tape, you bigger units go through the gate and not over the bloody fence in future please!!

Man in the dirtiest shirt this week goes to one of our usually unsung ones, Rick, after being pitched in at tighthead and despite admitting to being up against a real handful, he stuck with it and competed with his man throughout the game and also for his tireless work in the loose. And apologies to Sean who through my own ineptitude didn't get on.

Our 19th win of the season, and by a margin of three points now our closest game this season, and a mark of how just a tough a fixture it was, the first occasion our offensive machine has been pegged to less than twenty points. That said now only 145 points away from the magic 1000.

This Saturday sees us up against the previous holders of the closest game 22-10 Aston Old Edwardians at Tilehouse Lane.

Slow

Shall we play or shall we go home?

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 15:43:14 GMT

The pitches were a little firm at the weekend and there were some doubts regarding safety, (why play rugby in the first place if you can't accept the odd bit of pain and discomfort). Confusing? then read on.

First XV

According to my sources, the home team were changed and on the pitch going through warm up routines, the referee was ready for action and then our visitors thought the pitch to be rather firm so got in their cars and returned, presumably, back to Southam. I am sure that our lads enjoyed every second of their training session.

Development XV

With the return of some of the regular players our young side travelled south in order to beat the freeze to the rural tranquility (if you are front row that means peaceful) of Alcester. The hosts put out a blend of youngsters and experience and performed with enthusiasm. However, it was the boys from Tilehouse Lane who were on top for much of the match. Tries from Sean Byrne, Tom Thacker and Chris 'the curry' Rhodes and two cons from the younger Bucknall gave us a 19-5 victory.

Vandals XV

Risking life and limb the game against Claverdon 2s went ahead on our all-weather pitch. Claverdon, with a large squad ready to perform were certain to be a real test for our well-drilled and, so far, successful team of oldies. Lads, I will offer you an excuse. A very cold day meant cold hands which explained the many handling errors, mainly by the home team. To keep it brief, we gradually took control of all aspects of the game and tries came from Phil Watson x2, Mike Neary, Young Simon, Lee Coates, Ali G, Alan Arkell and Nev who also kicked a conversion. Ralph got two cons and the Chairman (Mr Fitz) for some reason attempted and was on target with his drop goal effort. Final score was in the region of 53-5 in favour of the Vandals.
See the full Vandals match report below.

Minis and Juniors

Steve from Woodrush and myself decided to make a late decision on sunday morning as the weather forecasters hinted at a frost-free morning. This proved be a good call and three of our teams made the short journey and got some action. Marcus is very impressed by his under 10s who have shown some excellent form so far. The under 15s are now looking strong and with the new players linking well with their new team mates, we were a little too good for our opposition on the day. A big thank you to Woodrush for their hospitality.

This weekend's fixtures
Saturday 5th Feb
First XV v   Upton away in a league game
Development XV    v   Upton away
Vandals    v Spartans Vets   home

Sunday 6th Feb
At this moment under 7/8s training
                         under 10s training
                         under 14s   v   Spartans at home kick off 11.00
                         under 15s   v   Camp Hill   away kick off 11.00 For new parents with satnav B90 2EF

Club Social Events

You are warmly invited to our social events and it helps generate funds which in turn enables us to do more for you so please give your support. Families of Minis/Juniors give it a go as you are part of the club. You never know you might even enjoy yourselves.

The Six Nations Internationals will be shown on the big screen and refreshments will, of course, be available.

Family Quiz on Friday February 18th (7.30 to 9.30)
This is aimed at our younger club members with their families and also at our senior club members with their families. It is not the same style as Dave's slightly more adult based quizzes. Curry and Pizza can be bought. Entry is £5 per adult and free for youngsters in full-time education. Please let Shannon or Pat know if you plan to attend.

Beer and Balti Evening on Saturday February 26th
£8 per ticket starting approx. on the final whistle of the 5pm kick off international between England and France. More details can be obtained through Chris Rhodes (Club Social Sec.) who informs me that the caterers are of a high quality.

St. Patrick's Day +1 Celebration on Friday March 18th
You don't have to originate from the Emerald Isle and you don't have to be RC but you will be blessed anyway if you come along to enjoy the craic! Sharron of the Mini/Junior section of the club is planning the event and it should include a live band witth a caller to prevent you from looking like a complete fool as you dance. Remember, if Sid and Brian Collingwood can manage a dance then the rest of you should be more than able. Refreshments wiill be available, more details to follow.

Friends of the club

Mr Peter Johnson
   It has been good to see the iconic, long serving member of the teaching staff at Alderbrook School, watching the Ys. Pete, if my memory serves me correctly, was once a player for the Shirley Park bunch. He also had the dubious honour of educating my three kids. Nice to see you at our place Pete, you got it right in the end. On the ex-Alderbrook front, Richard McC. feel free to bring your kite with you again. As they say, you're never too young!

Mr Simon Brown

Just a short 'tail' about one of our favourite club vice-presidents and former Old Ys flanker/centre/winger. I could be barking up the wrong tree but I shall lead on without paws.
The question is, what might happen if you go out for a while and leave your lounge door open, fountain pen and ink on the table, you have a white carpet and suite and you have left the dog at home?
A pint from Simon for the first correct answer he receives, not by phone or text or even by e-mail, the answer must be written in black ink on a white background.

Vandals v Claverdon 2nds - full match report

Saturday 29th January 2011 and Game 18 found us at home against Claverdon Lions 2nds; on paper a very tricky fixture, with their First team currently unbeaten & atop of Division 5 West (South) and a game last season remembered for the coining of the term "attendants" and probably one of our best team performances over at Ossetts Hole Lane in the pouring rain before finally running out winners 24-0.

In the front row this week loosehead Shannon "Steps" Killarney, Rick "Swing"Lowe at hooker & Bill "Bilbo" Burrows at tighthead.
With Big Phil Gouldbourn at the pantomime (I kid you not) younger sibling Alistair partnered John "Fingers" Lonie in the second row with the tackle twins Nick "the Assassin" Levey and Marcus "Shark" Hope on the flanks and recently returned from the World Economic Forum in Davos the Rupert "the Major" Young at No.8 (sorry meant on the pi** in Courmeyeur).

Out in the attendants this week Phil "the General" Evans at scrum half with Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, and with Barrel being loaned out a "new" centre partnership in Tony "Fitz" Fitzgerald and top scorer Lee "Coatesy" Coates; on the wings Phil "Horse" Watson & Simon "Sideways" Singleton with Mike "Nearly" Neary sweeping up the leaves at the back.

On the banquette this week Alan "the Colt" Arkell, Iain "Johnno" Johnson, Dave "Ralph" Rollins, James "Hughesy" Hughes, new recruit Chris Rowe and the entire first team, Southam having wimped out of their game upon finding some stiff blades of grass in the dead ball area of the first team pitch.

Shark wins the toss and picks field position with our backs to Highgate United, so Claverdon kick off with an old mate of mine Rich Gray and former first team centre partner of mine at the Sils (yes that's where I really used to play inside centre) taking the kick off which doesn't make ten but Lonie still decides to show his footballing skills by kicking it out on the half volley for a throw just on halfway. Claverdon secure their own ball at the lineout and spin it out to fly half Gray and he kicks ahead but Mike takes it cleanly and clears to touch the ball going out between Claverdon's ten and twenty two metre line.

We steal the lineout and ball goes through the hands of Phil, Nev, Fitz, & Coatesy to Simon, who gets snagged. We recycle and the General ships it out to Nev who puts one over the top for Horse to run onto, difficult ball on the floor so he opts to grubber it out on the Claverdon twenty two metre line for a throw to them.

They overthrow and it's the General of all people taking it at the tail but it's a big long loopy pass in the midfield which goes marginally forward, for a scrum to Claverdon centrefield midway between the ten metre and halfway lines. But our eight get the shove on and put the Clav scrum under pressure and the No.8 is forced to pick up at the base and the General's over him like a rash followed by the Assassin; they stand him up and the 677 gather round and we turn him over, Alistair takes the short pop and offloads to the General who crosses the twenty two, passes to the Major who takes it into contact. We recycle crisply and Nev chips over the top but ball crosses the try line and the defence dot it down for a twenty two drop out.

Horse takes the restart, it's a customary bit of bish bosh from our Phil as he drives it over the the twenty two before popping it to Nev, to Fitz to Coatesy, long pass to Sideways who looks to cut back inside, looks for support, ball finds Rick, to Nev who gets caught, Rupe helps him out and we drive it on a couple of metres before we spin again, and ball comes out to Fitz who thinks he's in the pocket in the Telstra Stadium and he calmly slots over a drop goal (albeit a bit of a worker) for a 3-0 lead and the crowd go wild!! Not quite as bad as a penalty so we'll let him off and at least we have the complete set now to go with our lone penalty.
Shannon takes the restart and takes it into contact and we drive it on, Rick takes it a little further, Nick Levey clears up and passes to Rupe who takes it on a yard, we set and it's short pop to Alistair as we soften them up around the fringes; and then we spin it wide, Phil to Nev to Fitz to Coatesy, he stands his man up makes the break passes to Symes who lights them up and cuts back inside and is hit by the sniper on the grassy knoll and promptly falls over to huge guffaws on the touchline but has the presence of mind and some slight embarrassment to pop it up off the deck to Mike Neary in support who slices through the defence to go under the posts 8-0. Easy one for Ian Neville 10-0.

It's a bit scrappy from the restart and we take it on but we concede a penalty on our ten metre line. They kick to touch but only find Nev who sends it back with interest, their winger takes it, evades a couple and cuts into midfield and is promptly felled by Chairman Fitz, ball goes forward in the tackle for a scrum to Yards, but the war is over for the Major as he comes off with a twisted back. The Colt Arkell comes on a bit sooner than he'd like obviously, with enough professionally applied tape on his knee to sink a battleship (See Mr Baldwin's Facebook footage). Arks packs down alongside his bosom pal Lonie and Alistair switches to No.8
Soon after we are camped just outside the Claverdon twenty two, scrum to Yards ball comes out Fitz scissors on Nev but he's caught and a Claverdon hand knocks it forward in the tackle, for another scrum to Yards. Steady scrum, the General picks & spins to Nev, dummy scissors Fitz, difficult pass for Coatesy to take and has to improvises a flick onto Horse but the ref deems it's gone forward, denying us a certain score. So scrum to Claverdon, Rick decides to take matters into his own hands, picks up Bilbo & Steps and drives them off their own ball, the General spins it out to Nev who sells some double glazing and breaks the line but is unable to get the ball away to Horse in support, and the move comes to nothing.
Play soon shifts back to midfield and Claverdon are awarded a penalty on the halfway line, they opt to kick and the ball goes out about five or six metres in front of our twenty two metre line. We steal it at the back of the line and set and Nick Levey comes in on the crash and breaks through, looks for support, finds it in Shannon he clears it out, we recycle, Alistair's next up keeps the legs pumping, the 677 gather round and we press on forward in a huddle obviously trying to keep warm in the bitter conditions, Arks lend his weight to the maul as we tie them in and then the General decides the time is right and we spin. Nev to Fitz, to Coatesy, he's caught round the collar by our old friend Les Battersby (playing for his other Club) so we set and spin again, ball comes to Horse and it takes three to stop him and the ball is knocked on (Slow thinks deliberately) by Claverdon, but ref awards just the scrum to Yards. We drive them back, somehow ball squirts loose and it's kicked into touch by a Claverdon player.
From the lineout Rick hits Shark towering above the rest at four, and we set and drive towards the line, Arks in front, a one man impeneterable shield, we split the pod and peel towards the posts, the General emerges from the middle, we regroup and drive it on, the General looks right sees Horse, goes into retrieve the ball and has to duck under John in order to pop it out to Horse (you can watch this too on Facebook) and from a couple of metres Horse barges through his much smaller man to score a metre or so in from the corner 15-0 (watch the video the pack look really nonchalant after we score, they just turn and trudge back to the halfway line...job done). Nev misses with the difficult conversion.
Our next try a few minutes later is a "classic" involving our three top try scorers, we secure good ball and the General sends it out to Nev to Fitz to Coatesy who puts Horse into space, customary big hand off, runs thirty odd metres to the line, Coatesy on his shoulder all the way; Horse crosses the line unopposed and decides to generously pop it to Coatsey who runs it behind the line and under the posts before he himself pops it to Symes who's come the long way via Knowle and he dots it down to increase our lead to 20-0. Easy conversion for Nev 22-0.

Nev takes the restart catch on his knees and clears to touch just outside our twenty two for a lineout to Claverdon which Shark takes easily at four. We set and decide to spin, Nev to Fitz to Coatesy who still has work to do but uses his speed to get away and puts in a great long clearance kick which goes out near the halfway line. The Assassin makes a nuisance of himself at the tail of the line, but Clav manage to get it away as far as Rich Gray at ten, but he's forced to stand it up and Clav have to work hard, the scrum half puts a box kick over, bit aimless really but Sideways collects it, gets caught round the collar but gets away and punts it up field and gives chase. The Clav player looks to have taken it right on their twenty two if not in front when he clears it into touch, referee consults touch judge the right honourable Billy Bucknall and they give Claverdon the benefit of the doubt, lineout where the ball went out. It's a double whammy for us as we lose the lineout but the Claverdon fly half gets an "unsympathetic" pass (he's a mate) and he kindly knocks it forward for a scrum to Yards on the twenty two moreorless midfield. Its' a steady scrum with Bilbo & Shannon exerting all manner of pressure and it starts to collapse as Ali G picks up from the base and goes, good hand off, he offloads to the General who ships it out but it's knocked on in midfield (that'd be you Coatesy) for a scrum.
They win the scrum and it's a kick over the top and Mike gathers it and passes to Coatesy who sets off, looks like he's going all the way as he ghosts past the first couple, looks to be held but keeps the legs pumping and breaks free again finally gets stopped, and we look to recycle about ten metres out from their line but we knock on in the excitement. But it's a great tackle by the General on his opposite man at the back of the scrum and he knocks on, but to no avail as we lose one against the head but again the God's smile as the clearance kick goes out about five metres from the Claverdon line. Attacking lineout to Yards then, it's a bit scrappy but we get the ball away and it's a floater to Fitz who gets man & ball at the same time and it's knocked on in the tackle for a scrum to Claverdon from which they kick to touch to relieve the immediate pressure.
Not long after however, we are awarded a scrum a few metres inside their twenty two, we split the backs, ball comes to Coatsey, inside pass to Horse who does well not to collide with Alistair, almost accidental offside, but we get away with it, Horse takes it into contact, and we set, the industrious (read fit as f*ck) Coatesy standing in at scrum half passes to Rick, the 677 pile in, ball comes out and Coatesy uses his speed to go over in the corner 27-0. Nev goes close but not close enough.
Halftime 27-0 really too cold for isotonics, cocoa would have been better!! Slow rings some changes to get everybody on, Johnno comes on for the General, Hughesy for Coatsey, Smoking for Fitz and Ralph on for Mike Neary. Claverdon take the opportunity to introduce their own version of the big wing who lines up against Simon for the second half.
It's a long deep restart into their twenty two, and their big winger has his first trundle, but he's brought down but then proceeds to crawl along the deck, before getting pinged, probably for attempted tunnelling. Nev puts it into the corner about ten metres from their line. The throw sails over both jumpers and is taken by Lonie at the tail, and we drive it towards the posts, John feeds it back to Rick and in turn to Shannon and we peel off right, heading inexorably towards the line before John breaks free, he gets held up just short, he flips it back, Johnno can't take it but it's gone backwards and Bilbo tidies up, then Alistair and we set it, ball comes out, misses Nev ends up at Smoking's feet who does a great step, passes to Hughesy, back to Smoking to Horse, who offloads back inside again to Smoking, who sends a wider one out to Ralph who flips it back inside to Simon. We're camped on their line, we recycle, Johnno looks up spins it to Nev to Hughesy who shows off his ball juggling skills in midfield, the Colt Arkell's first to him and takes the ball, peels away and drives to the line, ball comes backwards, Nick Levey cleans it up and we set, Johnno looks to spin, but sees Alistair who takes the crash ball and goes over for a great team try 32-0. Nev converts taking the score to 34-0.

Shannon takes a great catch from the restart, we set Alistair comes inside but throws an interception to my mate Rich at fly half, the ball comes out, they recycle and look to run, but their scrum half goes for the box kick but it's too long and it harmlessly crosses our try line and Ralph has plenty of time to dot it down for a drop out twenty two. Nick Levey comes off and debutant Chris Rowe comes on.

It's a good long drop out by Nev and the 677 give chase, the Claverdon forwards bring it back and we engage and turn it over, we take the ball on a few metres, Johnno spins to Nev who passes to Hughsey and it's a good drive by him, Chris Rowe into the action straight away is to him first, Smoking picks up passes to Sideways back to Nev who uses his sand wedge to put one over the top, doesn't find touch and they punt it back over and into the arms of Horse, he passes to Smoking, he sidesteps one, burns another, nice wide pass but referee deems we've had no real advantage from an earlier Claverdon infringement and brings us back for a penalty. Johnno I think takes it quickly, tries to weave his way through gets stopped, Bilbo sets it and we drive it on, making good yards before it gets knocked on/turned over/give a penalty away (and no that's not multiple choice we did all three) and they clear to touch the ball going out on the halfway line. They win the lineout and again they go for the box kick and again it goes harmlessly dead for a twenty two drop out to Yards.

Smoking looks to take it quickly, decides against it and gives it to Nev who puts it up and it doesn't cross the line so it's a scrum centre field on the twenty two, Rick's pinged for foot up (live by the sword....) they take it quickly spin it wide to their big winger, Symes gets wrapped round a leg but it's not enough and he goes over on the corner for an unconverted try 34-5.

It's a great long deep restart which they try and run out, and get as far as the twenty two before getting stopped but we're pinged for not releasing. They hoof it downfield their big winger hurtling on after it, Ralph makes a great catch (just about) and steps the big unit and he goes sailing on by, ball is spun but cold hands and it goes to ground in midfield for a scrum to Claverdon.

Shortly after an attempted clearance finds Ralph, he traps it with his feet, picks up and sets off into the heart of the defence, he's stopped about five metres short and the 677 set and Johnno looks to come blind and it's a great show & go that unlocks the defence and he puts Nev in for our sixth try 39-5, bit of a shocker though as the excitement gets to him and he misses the conversion.

One of the Claverdon players has gone down with what looks like a broken/dislocated ankle, and an ambulance is called, but he is only one of three lying prone on the park as their "balls to the wall" defence starts to take its' toll. Slow offers to abandon the game to the Claverdon players but to their credit they decide to play on. (The unfortunate player Ross Cameron has had to have some extensive repairs to his ankle and was only discharged from the QE midweek..we wish him well and a speedy recovery)

The restart goes straight out so scrum back on the halfway line, steady scrum Johnno pops to Nev and loops round to take the return pass and breaks the line, looks for support, but the pass is knocked on; Andy Wigley the young ref plays good advantage and Clav bring it forward, but we turn it over, Bilbo to Johnno, to Nev, to Smoking to Ralph, who cuts back inside chooses not to go with Horse but pops to Smoking who cuts back inside and finds Simon who looks to plot a way through, he gets tackled and goes to ground but Clav are penalised for not releasing/coming over the top.

Nev pops it into the corner. We catch and drive towards the line, ball comes out eventually, Chris takes it on this time, gets tackled and we have to set again lots of Claverdon hands in, but ref decides the penalty's for not rolling away. We take it quickly and spin it, Hughesy takes it on in midfield, he's stopped Johnno's there, pops it to Rick who rotates towards the posts, Alistair drives him on, then Johnno, Bilbo pops the ball out from the back to Shannon, trademark dummy then offloads to Horse who goes over in the corner, great try made by our two passing props 44-5. Up steps Ralph for this one and it sails over (c'mon Ralph even you were surprised despite the clenched fist salute) 46-5

Alistair comes off and occasional Vandal Steve "monkey hanger" Cunningham comes on for the last fifteen at No.8 as a reward for staying to watch when all his team mates have all gone back into the warm.

Soon after Claverdon are awarded a scrum between the ten and our twenty two, they pick up at the base, flat pass from the No.8 to their big wing but our even bigger wing Horse drives him into touch, but referee brings it back for a penalty for not binding at the scrum. They kick for the corner valiant effort by Horse as he tries to catch it but it ends up coming off his back and it goes dead for a scrum to Clav five metres out, great defensive scrum by our eight as we get the drive on causing carnage at the base and we turn it over and Nev kicks long for touch, their winger fields it just inside the line but he's driven out just by Symes & Horse just inside their ten. Excellent defence.

Cunning stuff by Swing as he throws it short Lonie and we drive it on, Johnno spins short to Chris great pass to Smoking, to Hughesy to Ralph coming into the line, to Simon but frostbite gets the better of him and it goes to ground. Scrum Claverdon.

Nick Levey comes back on for the hard working Marcus.

Our final try of what was probably a very long afternoon for Arks who, following a great run by Horse, picked up the loose ball and from just inside the Claverdon twenty two and set off on a long diagonal run, with plenty of bish bosh rumbled in under the posts 51-5 Try converted by Ralph 53-5

Mike Neary comes back on for the last few minutes for Horse (sufficient enough time for Mike to collect a bloody nose) .

Shannon takes the restart and we all know what's coming and he doesn't disappoint to a large cheer from the remaining crowd, and Steve Cunningham takes the pass and takes it into contact, we set and Johnno boxes one over, the fullback takes it and is tackled and the ball spills into touch.

Final score 53-5 Final age 631

Another big performance from 1-22, the bitter cold making our usually crisp handling difficult at times, but that said another eight tries and our seventh highest win of the season (yes another six times over 60!)

Sadly having cancelled our scheduled fixture with Old Salts to take up the challenge of Spartans, a side like us unbeaten this season with eleven straight wins they withdrew their offer early on Thursday morning due to lack of players so at present we're in the Pool.

Some general housekeeping can we please have a look in our kit bags for a pair of club socks and the duplicate No.9 shirt.

Slow.

Catch up rugby week 2

Wed, 26 Jan 2011 09:58:23 GMT

What a weekend. I popped down to the Emirates to watch some supreme footballing skills including a hat-trick from RVP and some amazing skill from Cesc. However, what is wigan known for? its pier, its casino and probably its rugby league side, but on what I saw it certainly ain't its football team. As a bonus we had to share a train carriage with some ladies from Wolverhampton. I hope they enjoyed their picnic and I'm sure that they are safe from starvation for another week or two.

'I spy' badges for those of you who have noticed new bus stops outside of the club, allegedly for the S7 bus route. A free drink from Pete Butler for the first person to place the details of this route on the club noticeboard.

First XV v Shipston on Stour

In similar style to last week our boys are now perfecting the art of charitable rugby. Shipston, a more than decent team, didn't really need a 12 point start but that's what we gave them. We think that they had inside information regarding our tactics as they moved off their first team pitch onto a mini-rugby area which made our plan to run the ball wide a lot more difficult to achieve so we had to be a little tighter in our game plan. Anyway to cut a long story short, forward dominance resulted in a lot of pressure and eventually a try for young scrum half Tom Growcott converted by Adam Walker. Even more pressure followed and resulted in a try for back row James O' Donnahue. At 12-12 we camped in their 22 and amazingly there were no more points scored even though a series of attacking 5 meter scrums collapsed. Another interesting scoreline in a league in which, apart from the leaders, all the other sides are capable of beating each other on the day. The question on everyones lips is how many points start will we give Southam in saturday's home league game. Watch this space !

Development XV v Tamworth

More details to follow when our skipper sends his report in. The grapevine suggests that we came in second place but considering the first team injury situation that resulted in the changes to our development squad, the defeat was not a massive surprise. I have a feeling that we will see a much improved display at Alcester on saturday.

Vandals XV v Old Sils

The mean machine grinds on with Sils Saints this week's unlucky opponents. To beat the Sils is never easy but we managed to do so in style with tries coming from Phil Watson x4, young Simon x2 and one each for Alan Arkell and Mick Neary, plus one conversion each for Ralph and Nev for a final score of 44-0. This coming saturday's game is at home to Claverdon. Admission is free but you have to get yourself out of the mud/car park. See longer report below.

Minis and Juniors

The only game last sunday was our under 15s v Five Ways, a team that beat us by 50 odd points earlier in the season. With our new recruits fitting in nicely we managed to turn the tables by winning 32-19 which included two tries by Jack Molloy on his return to action. A big thank you to Mr Tom Power for an excellent display of refereeing.
This coming sunday sees us make the short journey to our friends at Woodrush for matches at under 7/8, under 9/10 and under 15. Under 14s contact your manager/coach to confirm your arrangements..
Vandals v Silhillians main report

Short one this week chaps (thank heavans I hear you all say....mind you want to try typing the detailed thing!)

Game 17 of the season found us up against Silhillian 3rds at leafy Copt Heath, one of the five sides that defeated us last season albeit with the help of their Civil Service friends. Having been pre-warned earlier on in the week of a lack of a competitive front row, it didn't look too promising for the homeside when Sils took to the field with just twelve players.

With Roger "The Dodger" Lazenby & Rick "Swing" Lowe sportingly offering to shore up the Sils front row, our starting fifteen comprised an experienced (read old) front row in loosehead Shannon "Steps" Killarney, Steve "Sid" Sidwell at hooker and Bill "Bilbo" Burrows starting at tight (having sold Gethin to the Development side), the brothers Gouldbourn in the second row, and in the back row the tackle twins Nick "the Assassin" Levey and Marcus "Shark" Hope on the flanks and the combative Rob "Barstool" Bastock at No.8 (the Major apparently being lost in time & space).

The glory boys this week Phil "the General" Evans at scrum half & Ian "Nev " Neville at fly half, with centres Nick "Barrel" Palmer & Tony "Fitz" Fitzgerald; on the wings Phil "Horse" Watson & Simon "Sideways" Singleton with Mike "Nearly" Neary at fullback.

On the couch this week Alan "the Colt" Arkell, Iain "Johnno" Johnson, John "Fingers" Lonie, Dave "Ralph" Rollins and Captain Slow.

Other than a period shortly after half time where the game developed into a forward dog fight (literally at one point, wth Barstool & Sils' Rich Miles swapping handbags) where we found ourselves on the defensive for about ten minutes, we scored fairly frequently throughout, with Horse scoring four, Simon a brace, Mike & Arks one apiece, with Nev & Ralph sharing the two, yes just two conversions.

A logistical nightmare from my point of view, with Arks also having to go on in the first half for Sils following a nasty finger dislocation for one of the Sils youngsters, and then it was all change at half time with Sid & Shannon changing sides with Roger & Rick, similarly Slow finally getting on the park for Sils and swapping places with Arks, before finally getting his Vandal shirt back on in exchange for Simon. The second half also saw the introduction of Lonie, Johnno and Ralph.

Special thanks to Sid, Rick, Shannon, Arks, Simon, Roger for playing for the opposition and to John for slotting at prop and getting sunburnt on his neck.

Final Score 44-0 Final age 653

Our 17th win of the season, a fifth shut out, taking us to 783 points for the campaign, the 1000 point season now well within our grasp. We've scored 132 tries in the process averaging nearly eight a game with Sideways & Horse now tied on 18 apiece hot on the heels of Coatsey with 25 (watch that hamstring improve!)

Next week possibly a tricky one Claverdon Lions 2nds at Fortress Tilehouse then off to Moseley for our postponed Christmas sherry & sherbet I suggest we meet at Weatherspoons 7.30-8pm.

The Vandals go to Rome is now looking likely for Saturday 2nd April, originally the Ashby game, and before you ask in preparation I have asked Tom to look into cancelling the Kings Norton midweek evening game earlier on on the week.

Slow

Let's play 'catch up' rugby!

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 10:27:05 GMT

First XV

In the good old days we used to build a lead and then test our fitness by hanging on to the final whistle. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Now last saturday in what should really have been a straightforward game for us we tried a new approach. In the time it took to park the car and put on some boots the boys managed to give the visitors from Redditch a nice start of 17 points made up of 3 tries and a conversion. Simple enough really we had the rest of the game to catch up! With a lot of graft we almost got there. Our pack gradually took control and we came within a whisker of winning, clawing back 14 points. Redditch just about held on to win by 17-14. We seem to camp in opposition territory but fail to convert pressure into points. When we get it right some team or another will feel the backlash we hope.

Development XV

With captain Egg taking time out to sit exams, young front-row star, Luke has taken over the reins. There are times when youth wins the day and other times when experience counts and over at Veseyans 2nds we fell victims to the latter. Dave Hanson (Chicken) informs me that the score flatters the hosts but that's often the way it goes. A special mention for Dave Langley for yet another try from our powerhouse second row.

Vandals XV

Like night follows day then win follows win, well so far it has been the case. Against a more than decent Civil Service 2nd team we had our work cut out and it was only when our visitors tired in the second half that the points started to accumulate. Tries came from Nick Palmer x2, Ralph(aka Peter Pan), Phil Goldbourn and a couple of our equine friends, Alan Arkell and Phil the horse Watson. Nev stroking over 5 conversions. The final score being 45-7 in our favour.

See full natch report below.

Minis and Juniors

Sunday saw all of our youngsters playing at home against the Eds.Marcus and John are very chuffed with their under 10s who played with 2 players short but still did the business. It's good to see the very young under 7s and under 8s developing nicely. Well done to Andrew Pemberton. The under 15s lost by 2 points in a game that could have gone either way. The under 14s were well beaten.

Fixtures this weekend

Saturday      First XV away to Shipston (league)
                    Dev XV home to Tamworth 2nds
                    Vaandals   away to Sils 3rds

Sunday        Under15    home to Fiveways
                    Under 7, 8, 10, 14   training

This week's special mentions

VPs Dinner and Gathering

Last saturday saw the opportunity for our vice presidents to gather together for a meal, a drink, a chance to watch the present-day players hopelessly trying to match the talents of previous old Yardleian teams and, most important of all, to put right the many ills of the world in general. Thanks go to Terry (Tex) Wales for coordinating the day, to his good lady, Maggie, for allowing him out, to Pat, Barbara Kim and the catering/bar staff for feeding them, a challenge in itself and a big thank you to anybody who I have overlooked.

Craig Fleming

Thanks go to Craig of the North Mids Referees Society for taking control of our under 15 match on sunday. As a former player at both Ys and Eds it was a good gesture and Craig we were amazed at how your fitness has improved and the new, slim former prop was barely recognisable. Sorry that you had to take some abuse from a couple of ignorant idiots on the touchline but the vast majority who actually know a little about the game appreciate your help. Well done and thank you.

Chris Watts

Congratulations to Chris on being accepted into the University of the Third Age. You fully deserve the honour which is bestowed on only the most intelligent and special individuals. This makes you the third Old Yardleian to receive the call following in the footsteps of Tex and some other smart bloke! Chris, as you might or might not know has captained our First and Second XVs and as Head of P. E. at Yardleys School, was responsible for introducing many of you to the game of rugby and to the Old Yards club. Well done Chris ( that is if you understand the internet!).

Vandals v Birmingham Civil Service 2nds

With Birmingham Barbarians 2nds going the way of Warley Vets the previous week this Saturday saw us at home in another Pool game versus Birmingham Civil Service 2nds. Having played for them the season before last I know a couple, including their Les Battersby lookalike (who also played against us last season for Claverdon, if you're reading this sorry I don't know your real name) who told me they were hoping to play our thirds and not our Vets, because apparently our Vets are scarier than our thirds!

Starting fifteen this week loosehead Shannon "Steps" Killarney, Rick "King of Swing" Lowe at hooker and Mark "What's Appertaining" Baldwin at tight, with Lonie given a week to recuperate from his nasty broken pinkie Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn was harnessed to his shorter (and even tardier) kid brother Alistair in the second row. With the Assassin visiting Tin Tin in Belgium Marcus "Shark" Hope had a new but equally lethal partner in Simon "Sideways" Singleton on the flanks with our business guru & drinking game aficionado Rupert "the Major" Young at No.8.

In the attendants this week Phil "the General" Evans at scrum half & Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, with centres Nick "Barrel" Palmer & birthday boy Tony "Fitz" Fitzgerald; on the wings Phil "Horse" Watson & Mike "Nearly" Neary with Dave "Ralph" Rollins as last man standing.

On the chaise long this week Alan "the Colt" Arkell, Iain "Johnno" Johnson, and the surviving member of Right said Fred, Andy Killarney.

With our beloved tundra of pitch Three incorporating a new water feature we took to a moist pitch Two, and with stunt skipper Shark losing the toss Civil Service elected to kick towards the Club (not realising they'd played into our hands allowing us to play towards the beer in the second half)
The kick off evades catchmeister Shannon but eventually finds big Phil, we set and the General ships it out to Nev and he rifles one ahead which goes out on the Service ten metre line. The line out's a messy affair, lots of bibble bobble and knock ons but the referee Alex Nock (Nocker to his mates at Five Ways) decides on a scrum to the Service. The Service scrum half starts as he means to finish with a crooked feed, not quite into the second row but seemingly not far off, but he gets away with it, collects at the base and goes on a bit of a run, popping it to their winger & Les Battersley (Corry...no I don't watch it either) stunt double but he's quickly driven into touch for a lineout to Yards.
We take a quick throw and Sideways comes away with it, he feeds Barrel who cuts through, breaks the first tackle but gets caught and Nocker penalises him for holding on. Service choose not to run and it's a decent kick with the ball going out just on our twenty two. Everybody is up in the air but the throw's not straight and it's a scrum to Yards which we secure nice & easy and the Major guides the ball to the back where the General picks up and spins to Nev, he makes a little step just to make some space then puts it over the top.

The Service full back slips but manages to scoop it up and sets off down the tramlines, Nearly lets him go believing he's stepped into touch (their linesman that side) but no matter as he runs into into traffic, we promptly turn him over & the General box kicks it back from whence it came and we all run on.

The General takes the catcher and the pack drive the pair of them into touch for a lineout to Yards. Big Phil secures good ball and we set and Phil sends it out to Nev, he brings Barrel in on his first scissors of the day and scythes straight through, looks for support, is tackled, (more of a forward roll really) gets up and sets off again, Simon's in support, he pops to Fitz and he goes to ground. The Major dives on and we set. The General pops it to Shark, to Steps who sells his first of the day, passes to Ralph, he cuts back inside, we realign, but the whistle goes for offside (probably all of them), penalty to Yards. Going with doctrine Nev puts a great one into the corner for an attacking lineout to Yards about five metres out. Throw's not straight (mind it was blowing a gale) and it's a scrum to Civil Service. Pressure comes on from our unholy trio of Steps, Swing & Gethin and it goes down, but they get to have another go and the Service scrum half feeds again, and gets away with it again, but the ball pops out the side, Marcus scoops it up and goes over but the whistle's gone for yet another scrum.

We reset, Service put in, ball goes to the back, No.8 picks up, but everybody's on top of him & he drops it over the line so its an attacking scrum five metres out. Its a good drive by Service and the General gets sucked in at the base and knocks on, scrum to Service. They get the nudge on & its a good kick by their fly half, the ball going out just inside the halfway line.Gethin throws in, it's gets tapped down, Gethin's round to secure it at the back as we all pile in. The General gives a short pop to his bigger namesake who takes it on the crash. He goes through the first couple, gets held and we're all in. Out it comes, Nev dummies Barrel, then Fitz, goes through the gap, sells another, and offloads to Ralph who's come into the line, who feeds the Horse who still has work to do, thirty metres and a couple of big hand offs later he goes over in the corner 5-0. Nev's conversion unluckily comes back off the post.
Its a streaky restart which we fail to deal with and Service come away with the ball. Their fly half puts it over wide out and Mike Neary takes it in his stride and finds Ralph, who wellies it up field, it bounces over their ten before they try and run it out. They evade Ralph's attentions then Simon's and its Fitz who makes the final tackle, they set and spin the ball and the pass goes right over the top and Barrel takes man and ball and turns him our side and the General digs the ball out, and Alastair takes the short pop right through the middle, we set again, Phil pops it to Nev but it's knocked on. Shannon limps over, and Arkell says to me he's not going on yet. Shannon's okay to scrum which is a couple of metres from our ten metre line. It's a good steady shove from Service and there's a scissors in the midfield, Marcus takes the incoming player but they recycle, and they get a penalty advantage, and one of the Service flankers comes away with it and takes it in to contact making a few yards, but whistle goes as no real advantage gained. They elect to kick & it goes out for a lineout to Service on our twenty two. Shark's up nice & high to put them off a bit, but they retain possession and peel round on the narrow side, they set and the ball comes out and they spin it back wide and the fly half puts a little chip through, but Ralph is first to it. Ralph flips it to the General and he puts into touch.

It's another good take at the lineout from the Service, but the Major's through the middle and looks to have stolen it, but Service get the drive on. It becomes a bit messy and the whistle goes & Simon has his first chat of the game with the referee. It's an equally messy scrum & it starts to wheel all over the shop (Slow mutters rubbish). Scrum resets and their scrum half brings in Les off his wing but he knocks on & runs into one of his own players and its an accidental offside. Nev takes the kick, the ball going out just past their twenty two. There's a knock on by Service in the lineout, so it's a scrum to Yards. Clean possession from our hard working eight, the General lets it go to Nev, dummy scissors Barrel to Fitz, makes the break but gets caught, ball squirts loose and Horse fly hacks it on, but Nocker adjudges it's gone forward, so scrum back to Service. Steady ball comes out to their fly half, surely he's knocked it on, but gets away with it but does collect our back row marauders instead but the referee deems someone has hung on a bit too long & its a penalty to Civil Service.

Their kick goes out on our ten, ball comes in, Rupert's really unlucky not to get to it, and we look to have got away with a knock on as their scrum half picks up and runs right through the middle of us. Big Phil knocks him over and they recycle as Sideways tries to get hold of it, but ref had spotted the earlier infringement, it's no advantage so it's back for a scrum on the ten metre line. But Swing comes to our rescue picking up both Gethin & Steps under his arms he single handedly drives the Service pack off the ball as he takes one against the head and Rupe picks up, takes it on a metre, confusing the crowd by wearing number 9 shirt (apparently he thought he'd put 19 on). We set, again the two Phils work in tandem with BMT making the hard yards, we set again and Barrel's to him first, the General whips it out to Ralph who puts one up, their centre fields it cleanly and sends it back with the General just about making the catch (it went backwards). Nearly tidies up for him and puts a chip over the winger's head but it goes out just on the half way line, ping the ref has seen an offside and was playing advantage.

Nev takes it quickly to Ralph who puts a chip over & Horse runs on to it, has time to gear down and collect and takes it on, he's tackled, but pops it off the deck to Fitz, to Ralph, to Simon who breaks through and passes to Alistair who passes a neat one out the back of his hand to brother Phil. High tempo stuff, BMT's stopped we set again and the General goes old school and uses his feet judiciously to extract the ball, he ships it to Ralph, to Rupe who takes it back into contact. We set again, then spin it out, dummy by Nev, he gets clobbered, we recycle and Ralph puts a chip over the top and their winger takes it, but it's another penalty to us for offside, Nev puts it into the corner, five metres out from the Service line. Amongst all that Symes has suffered a dead leg and he limps off temporarily, and we're down to 14. It's a good catch and drive by the 677 (despite the ref not noticing they'd an extra man) and we drive all the way to the line and Gethin is unlucky not to get his maiden try of the season and even more unlucky when for reasons known best only to the referee, he awards a drop out twenty two to Civil Service.

Mike Neary takes the catch from the twenty two, and puts a lovely kick over into space, gives chase & takes the catcher & drives him out, lineout Yards; we try to take a quick one but the referee's having none of it. Sideways still suffering the effects limps back on. It's a poor one, but Alastair manages to rescue it and we set. Mike Neary comes in off his wing and feeds BMT, to the General who takes it into contact, ref blows, penalty Yards Alistair takes it quick and gets right to the line, we set, the Major under orders from the General is told to dig it out, but they come right over the top and its another penalty five minutes out (should've been a yellow card shown at some point)
We look, to take it quickly, Steps comes hurtling in but the pop is too hot to handle and it goes to ground and it's a scrum to Civil Service five metres out from their line. Steady scrum but the General's round the back ready to poach, but the Service scrum half manages to get it away to the fly half who clears, the ball going out about 20 metres from the line. Big Phil takes the throw cleanly, we drive on making great ground. Ball's at the back cradled safely by Gethin, he pops to Phil, to Nev and Barrel comes in on the scissors, goes through the line and offloads to his partner in crime Fitz who goes over under the posts...great try 10-0 Easy one for Nev 12-0

Its a long restart, the General gathers it up and passes it to Nev, who puts a nice high one up, it's caught cleanly and the Service player brings it back evading the first couple of tackles, but not Ali G and the ball goes forward in the tackle, scrum Yards. Good scrummage despite the Service's best attempts to disrupt it. Phil gets it away & Nev puts it up in the air and the Service fullback fluffs it, Barrel's first to him but the whistle goes, penalty to Yards for an accidental offside.

We take it quickly, but the ball's knocked on by the General, scrum to Service on the twenty two. Their No.8 picks up at the base, Marcus is first to him, followed by Symes but they recycle and the ball finds the fly half who hoofs it down the park & the ball goes out midway between the half way and ten metre line. Despite Gethin's throw not being the straightest the referee allows play on, we secure and spin it, Phil to Nev to Barrel, he looks to pass, doesn't and takes it on a metre, finds Fitz to Ralph to Horse who runs the next twenty metres his hand attached to their outside centre's head looking like a sort of human catamaran, Horse finally pops it back inside to Ralph who goes over midway out 17-0. Great kick by Nev 19-0.

The restart comes to Nev, who takes it cleanly and kicks to clear the ball going out just inside the halfway line. They catch and spin and the scissors in the midfield only finds Barrel and the ball carrier is pinged for not releasing. Nev puts in a great kick going out about 30 metres from their line. Another 'wind affected' throw finds the Major and he drives into the twenty two before the rest of the 677 gather round, Swing's got the ball at the back, passes to Shannon who does his thing, but gets caught so has to drive on with it, BMT's first to him, Rick picks up and goes he gets another couple of yards. The General takes it, pops it to Alastair who feeds Symes and he jinks his way through before offloading to big Phil who goes over and scores 24-0. Nev slots his third conversion 26-0.

That brings up half time, Slow's forgot the isotonics. Symes still struggling with his dead leg comes off and the Colt comes on to the flank.

Our restart doesn't make ten!!!! (answers on a postcard please), scrum to Service, but we pinch another against the head and the Major picks & goes, Marcus is first to him, then the General who goes on one of his typically sniping runs, passes to Nev, he gets caught, Barrel's in support, Phil takes it and dummies the pass to Ralph, then gives it as Ralph cuts inside, but ball is spilled forward, but referee plays good advantage and the Service clear to touch, ball going out just on the halfway line. Not good enough the referee's seen something else and awards them a penalty back. They kick and it's taken by big Phil who sets off and offloads to the Colt who bounces the first one and keeps going another yard or two before we set, Alistair takes the next short pop and takes it into contact, but the ref's whistle goes again and it's another penalty to Service. They kick and again it doesn't make touch and again it's taken by big Phil, who runs a yard before giving it to Mike Neary who puts one up in the air, and it's taken cleanly by the Service's fullback, who eludes first Mike then Shannon and continues to bounce his way all the way to the halfway line before getting finally stopped. They recycle and spin and bang one over the top and it goes straight to Horse who winds it up and goes past the fullback, then does the centre with another trademark hand off, but weight of numbers sees him finally driven out on the ten metre line.

We win the lineout, BMT taps down, goes through the General's hands, Rick's in there next, it's a slippery one, as we make life difficult for ourselves, finally it's Alistair who secures it, and the General puts it into touch. But the God's smile as referee gives us a penalty, Nev fakes the kick and gives to Shannon who makes a few yards, we all pile in, Phil feeds Nev, long one to Barrel, to Tony Fitz who cuts inside and is away sees Ralph in support who gives to Mike and he's away but is tackled by Les Battersby and the ball is knocked on in the tackle. The game's becoming a bit tatty and is being played between the two ten metre lines. Scrum to civil service, it breaks up and shortly after one of their players their skipper I think runs from the halfway line straight through the middle of us and scores under the posts . I get the impression we thought the whistle had gone there given we all stood quizzically watching on. 26-5 conversion a formality 26-7.

Mark comes off to take his conference call (I kid you not) and multi-purpose Arkell moves into prop albeit somewhat reluctantly. Andy K is given the order to get changed which seems to take an age as he ends up having to take his boots off to slip his track bottoms off. In the meantime we resume once again with 14 players. (Captains note: buy roll of Velcro for Andy next Christmas).

Game continues and from the restart the Service are awarded a scrum and its 8 against 7 (Andy wherefore art thou? ). They spin, the ball comes round the back and the ball is punted forward but food & drink to Ralph who clears up and puts it out for a lineout to Civil service. It's a good throw by Service but is undone by a nudge forward, scrum to Yards. Andy K finally gets on & slots into second row , Alastair goes to No.8 and Rupe goes on to the flank. Steady scrummage but we are made to work hard against a big set of lads who try to drive us off it. General spins to Nev who dummies the kick and cuts straight through and sees the General in support, Phil gets stopped gets a bit messy on the deck and somehow they get a penalty, they take it quick and it's deemed a deliberate knock on by Barrel & go again and they put this one up in the air but Nev takes it just inside the twenty two and makes a good touch on the half way line.

Service win their line, and spin, their centre kicks ahead, but it's not a good one, Barrel scoops up, feeds Marcus but we give it away in contact and Service try to run but they pass it forward, scrum Yards. Ralph comes off, Mike switches to full back and Johnno comes onto the wing. It's yet another feed so we spin the scrum but they manage to get the ball away, their fly half takes it on, Nev makes the tackle and has a lie down with him. Ball 's recycled and comes out to their tall centre, Barrel takes him and we steal it. Phil to Neville who chips over the top, Horse gives chase. The full back collects but is swallowed up and turned by Horse and we set again. Big Phil takes it short and knocks one completely off his arse, we drive again and spin short to Alastair who makes a couple more yards. Ball comes out and we spin it, Rupert takes it back inside, we've got lots of numbers, Phil spins it out to Nev who cuts inside sells a dummy, gets tackled, but offloads to Marcus, Barrel is first to him, then Alastair, ball comes out Phil spins to Nev, to Shannon sells the dummy and is unlucky not to score.

So its a scrum to Service, Arkell goes down, manages to get back up and we're driving but they clear the ball and kick ahead. Mike Neary takes the catch looks for support but decides to go on a run and makes good ground, keeps going, passes to Horse who pops to Rupert who goes to ground, they are all over it again, referee signals penalty advantage, but we don't need it as the Colt turns his man and ball comes out to Fitz who's unlucky not to get a second when he's held up but sharply offloads to Barrel who does go over 31- 7 Nev's attempt just goes wide.

Horse is also now also suffering from a dead leg (they shoot horses don't they?) and Arkell a broken finger nail.The restart for a second week comes off Ricks shins and we set nicely, ball comes out, big Phil takes it on the hoof, breaks the tackle, stands it up everybody's gathered round, first the Major, then the General, he spins Andy K takes it in midfield, looks desperately for someone to pass to but we set and it's knocked on by Barrel in the midfield and he kicks the ball out in disgust. So scrum to Civil Service they come blind Iain Johnson makes the first tackle, Alastair the next and the ball comes loose. Johnno scoops it off the deck but is tackled and ball goes forward, but advantage to Service they spin it back wide, lots of miss passes and extra men out wide but Tony Fitz does just enough to halt the attack and the ref brings it back for a scrum on the twenty two.

Ball comes straight out and the Major's on it like a flash, but they come right over the top, penalty Yards and another ten metres for not getting off quickly enough. Johnno's in there and takes it quickly and cleverly makes contact with a non retreating player and we get another ten. We kick and it goes out about thirty metres out. Rick hits big Phil, we set and drive on, Andy K takes it in the caboose. Then it's Rupert and Arkell's turn and we drive it on further and they look like they've collapsed it but the General spins it out but they turn it over in midfield Horse takes the runner and comes away with it, passes to Nearly, two side steps, keeps going offloads to Marcus who spins to Fitz who goes to ground and they come all over the top. Penalty Yards and another ten metres for backchat . And It's one of our methodically planned, very scientific...no give it to the big bloke type of moves and the Colt Arkell bounces his way through several despairing tackles to go over under the posts 36-7and another easy conversion for Nev 38-7.

It's a long deep restart, and big Phil allows it to bounce in front of him before collecting and setting off, he's stopped so his younger sibling drives him on, with Arkell stands menacingly close by, but the whistle goes, penalty to Civil Service because we've obviously done something very technical wrong. They kick to touch, and it's a lineout which they secure, ball comes out it's all a bit messy, but they are still trying to play in fairness with all their big units still running, but we're just standing off giving them plenty of breathing space as they spin across but not very forward. Fly half passes to the outside centre who's tackled by Johnno, and then Barrel, but they recycle and it comes out and the flanker takes it on but the whistle goes as Johnno and the fly half are throwing handbags...time to talk to the skippers.

Penalty to Civil service, just a few metres outside our twenty two and they put it into the corner. We've got Arks & Shannon lifting his brother and the Gouldbourns lifting Rupert, with Marcus at the tail. They knock it forward over the line and we dot down for a twenty two restart. Nev hoiks it down deep and their winger takes it on, but he's tackled, we spread and let them have it but ref sees something and gives them a penalty. It's a good kick by the fly half the ball going out five metres inside our twenty two. They just about get it in, there's a knock forward by us in the lineout, ref allows them to play on, they try to run it and it goes through several pairs of hands but no real advantage so we come back for a scrum. Steady scrum and they spin, fly half looks for an inside ball but they drop it, Nev picks up and keeps running, sends a Hail Mary of a pass out to Fitz and it goes forward. Scrummage then to Service on the ten metre line. It's a great scrummage from our Eight and we drive and then wheel it, it goes ninety referee blows, put in to us. We split the line, no need as Rupe picks up feeds the General and pops a great pass to Barrel, who canters in to score under the posts 43-7. Nev makes it five for the afternoon 45-7.

Johnno moves to outside centre Fitz comes onto the wing. Very little time left, though still enough for Johhno to get in another set of handbags with one of their players and the final highlight of the game sees young Arks taking a short pass off the General and going on a twenty metre run bouncing players as he goes.

Final Score 45-7 Final age 654

This weeks man in the dirtiest shirt award goes to Mike "Nearly" Neary who caught everything kicked in his direction and sidestepped anything that moved.

All in all, a much more fluent game this week against a strong, unyielding and largely offside set of lads, and where we got into our stride a lot quicker than the previous week and scored regularly throughout.

Next week one of the 2009/10 Payback Series Silhillians Saints at Copt Heath. Vandals Polos please if you have them!!

Slow.

A disappointing return to action.

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 18:05:55 GMT

First XV

After a longer than desirable break from action the boys in the first team made hard work of it against local rivals Woodrush, a team we beat comfortably earlier in the season. Taking an early lead with a penalty from Max the Ys fell behind when a lucky bounce fell kindly for the hosts which with the conversion gave them a 7-3 lead. The second half saw the Yards pack exert a lot of pressure on the home side's forwards and it came as no surprise when player-coach Gary Robinson went over for a try. Unfortunately the conversion came back off the crossbar. With time running out Woodrush kicked a penalty for a 10-8 lead and managed to hang on for a victory.
Now I will probably be strongly criticised for this but here goes. It ofteen seems to me that when referees are being assessed/observed/supported/or call it what you wish they tend to become over-zealous reverting to law book at the expense of player management and allowing the game to flow. This is not only the view of an upset loser. I am a qualified referee and member of the North Mids society and understand the pressures faced by referees. The Woodrush press report made the same observation and agreed that the match official was card-crazy in a match that was competitive rather than violent. So how about not telling the refs when they are to be assessed etc. and take some pressure off them. I await the replies witth keen interest but remember that the game is for the players and spectators as well as for the officials.

Development XV

Under the new leadership of Luke Harris, our young lads looked a little jaded after the mid-season break. Playing at home to Woodrush 2nds a close game went the way of the visitors by a 12-10 margain. The new skipper led the way with an early try and the boot of Luke Griffiths added a conversion and penalty but a late score by Woodrush resulted in a narrow defeat fro the Ys.

The Vandals

The mean machine grinds on. Warley cried off the arranged fixture but Wolverhampton stepped in to give us a game and in many areas of the game they matched us with determination as well as skill. However, as the game progressed the Vandals took control and in the end ran out comfortable winners by 47-0. Tries were scored by Nick Palmer x2, Simon Singleton, Marcus Hope, Phil Watson, Phil Evans and Billy Boy. Nev kicked 6 conversions.

See full match report below.

This coming weekend (Sat Sun 15/16 Jan)

First XV v Redditch (League) at Home

Development XV v Veseyans away

Vaandals XV v Birmingham Civil Service Home

SUNDAY MORNING

Do yourselves and your club a favour. All of our min/juniors are in action at home against Edwardians kick off at 11.00. These lads are the future of the OLD YARDLEIANS RFC so please make them feel as if they are really valued.

Vandals vs Wolverhampton 3rds - Match Report

Firstly a big thank you must go to our two refereeing props Shannon & Mark without whom we wouldn't have had a game and apologies in advance for the length of this one but it's just like the telly, you don't have to watch it!!

With Warley Vets, as expected, crying off Saturday 8th January 2011 and game fifteen saw us at home in the wet marshlands of pitch three versus those men in black from Wolverhampton.

With Shannon electing to officiate the first half our starting front row comprised Bill "Bilbo" Burrows at loose, Rick "Swing" Lowe at hooker and Mark "Land of my Fathers" Baldwin at tight, with John "Fingers" Lonie  and Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn in the engine room, and on the flanks the tackle twins Marcus "Shark" Hope and Nick "Assassin" Levey with Rupert "the Major" Young gluing it all together at No.8 .
Out in the Attendants Phil "the General" Evans at scrum half and Ian "Nev" Neville at fly half, with centres Nick "Barrel" Palmer and the Chairman Tony "Fitz" Fitzgerald , out on the wings our two multi-purpose tools Sean "Bean" Byrne & Simon "Sideways" Singleton, with Mike "Nearly" Neary clearing up the bits & pieces at fullback .

With everybody as keen as mustard to get back into action a large bench in Alan "the Colt" Arkell, Roger "the Dodger" Lazenby", Phil "Horse" Watson and a very welcome return to Dave "Ralph" Rollins in his first game since the first game, oh and Slow.

This weeks stunt skipper Marcus won the toss and elected to stay as we were playing towards Highgate United and giving Wolverhampton the sun in their eyes and the kick off.

The Wolverhampton kick off is a bit of a low trajectory affair, and in all fairness Rick, we on the sidelines all thought you knocked it on, but we get away with it, set and the General sends it out without delay to Nev who kicks over, and Mike and Symes set off in hot pursuit and the ball goes out just inside the Wolverhampton half. Lineout to Wolverhampton and we look to spoil, but they manage to get it away despite pressure from Shark and the Assassin. The fly half evades Nick's attentions and passes to his centre who brings his partner in on the scissors, but Nick seldom gives a second opportunity and down he comes, ball appears to go forward in the tackle but we are penalised for not moving away.
The first of many Wolverhampton kicks fails to find touch and we field and set and the General puts a box kick over the top, Marcus is first there, but is sent the wrong way by the winger (it happens sometimes) and Wolverhampton look to bring it out, Barrel makes the first tackle, but Wolverhampton get it away; eventually kicking ahead and ball is taken by Bean who takes it on and makes good ground, his bit of a loose pass is scooped up by Fitz and the 677 gather round. Phil spins it out and Nev puts in a great raking kick over the top, going out inside the Wolverhampton twenty two and giving us great field position.
It's a tap down at four from Wolverhampton and we pour through and secure the Lucy, the General wangs it out to Nev and Barrel comes in on his trademark scissors, and living up to his name barrels through two or three post Christmas tackles to go over for our first try, midway out right hand side. 5-0 Nev's conversion just falls short.
It's a bit of a grub hunter of a restart revealing they've definitely left their kicker back at Castlecroft, the ball just about evades Fingers and it's Bilbo who secures it and we set. Phil spins it out to Nev to Sideways who following Slow's sage words comes in off his wing looking for trade at every opportunity, beats his first man but his pass is judged marginally forward (I'm going to bring my laser spirit level next time). So it's the first scrum to Wolverhampton with their own two Pillars of Hercules with a good littlun in-between. It's a solid scrum and the Wolves No.8 picks up from the base and gets ankle tapped by the Assassin, The Major then steps in to complete the job and strips him of the ball. We get it back to Phil who finds Nev who kicks long and Symes gives chase, but Referee Killarney decides he's set off a little too soon (Friday) and gives a penalty to the men in black just on our twenty two.
The fly half elects to bang it into the corner which he does and it's an attacking lineout about five metres from our line. It's a streaky throw but Wolverhampton secure it and spin it out, there's a move but they fluff their lines and the ball gets knocked on in the midfield, for a scrum to Yards. At which point the General comes off with a nose job (an elbow he reckons) and Ralph restarts his season at scrum half. Our scrum is under pressure probably for the first real time this season as their two props give Bilbo & Gethin some real work to do which they do and we steady the ship and Ralph picks up and takes it into contact, we set and Nearly comes in at 9 and passes to Fitz who makes a great catch and punts it forward with Sean in pursuit, and he escorts the winger into touch for a lineout on their ten metre line. We take it quickly and Sharks sets off to the line and gets caught just shy, Fingers is first there in support but they're outnumbered and Wolverhampton steal it and try to clear, Nick takes the deflected clearance and feeds Ralph who gets sucked in and we have to set, it's Sean this time at scrum half (see they all want your job General). Wolverhampton get their hands in but whistle goes in the nick of time and it's a scrum to Yards five metres inside their twenty two, but the ball comes rather unsympathetically out the base and Ralph gets the Wolverhampton back row as well, scrum Black .
We fail to budge the all black scrum with big captain Nat and his boys holding firm. Ball comes out to the fly half who's attempted clearance is caught by Sean, who sets off looking for support and finds it Barrel shaped; Nick stands it up well and waits for the 677 to arrive. The industrious Symes takes the short pop off the back, and finds Nev, to Bilbo, to Bean, to Swing Lowe but ball is unlucky to get nudged forward, but you sense we're beginning to warm to the task. Scrum to Wolverhampton, the bloodied but not bowed (ok annoyed) General trots back on and Ralph comes off. It's a good scrum for us as Fingers and BMT get on a bit of a shunt, and it's a hospital pass to the Wolverhampton fly half standing in the dead ball area and Marcus, Nick & Phil are over him like a rash and his clearance kick squirts out a metre from their line.
We goof the lineout and Wolverhampton come away with it and their beleaguered fly half has another go at clearing his lines and again finds Bean, who shows him how to do it when his up and under drifts out on the full for a Wolverhampton lineout. Marcus steals their ball and the General sends out his version of the bouncing bomb which bypasses Nev and goes straight to Barrel who chips ahead for Sideways chase, the ball going out just in front of the Wolverhampton line giving us great field position. The Wolverhampton four jumper taps down and we all file through, the fly half manages to get a kick away but only straight into the arms of Bilbo who feeds big Phil, who takes it on and we set. The General sends it out to Nev who sells a couple of windows before changing course and trying to find his way through our entire pack! Our forwards decide to hang onto him and we set, Bill has it at the back but his pass is too hot for the Major to handle and it goes forward, and it's a scrum to Wolverhampton five metres from their line. Again it's a horrible one to their fly half who seeing the twins and the Major has no option but to dot it down for an attacking scrum five metres out.
Not the best of scrums, but Shannon gives us another go at it, the Major picks and goes, but whistle has gone and we get some more scrum time. No problems this time General ships it out to Nev who dummies Barrel and pops it to Sean who gets clotheslined and it's a penalty for the high tackle. Following Vandals doctrine Nev bangs it into the corner. Gethin's throw is somewhat less than straight big Phil virtually having to pluck it out of the Generals hands (but we all see the funny side) and it's a scrum to Wolverhampton. Ball comes out to their fly half who like he's done all half kicks it into our hands, this time it's Mike who takes it cleanly at full tilt, sells one and goes inside the first man, passes to Barrel who takes ball and tackler but is unable to get it away and is held up for a scrum to Wolverhampton.
The ball comes out and Nick makes the first tackle, Bean the next as Wolverhampton try to keep the ball alive basketball style in their twenty two, before reverting to Plan A: letting the fly half kick the ball back to us and again it's Nearly Neary who takes the catch (Captain's note to Forwards: see how fortunate we are having an entire back division who can actually kick from hand). Mike goes it alone this time cutting inside the first would be tackler and keeps on going until he's finally stopped about fifteen metres out. The defence do little to move away from the tackle and pinch the ball (I know this because Arkell is screaming in the background, he takes this rolling away to heart) their captain big Nat comes away with the ball, Marcus and Rick nab him and they recycle, their scrum half takes it on, Bean nabs him, and the General the ball, the Major plucks the ball off the deck and we set with Marcus and big Phil. The ball comes out to Nev who pops it over the winger again for Symes to chase and it goes out about ten metres from the line for a Wolverhampton throw.
Ball comes in but we're accused of hugging too early, so kick to Wolverhampton so a) they kick and find touch or b) kick and find a Vandal, obvious big Phil plucks it out of the air and goes on the run, sidesteps the first one and keeps going down the tram lines before finally being driven out on their twenty two. The compact Wolverhampton hooker hits his two jumper and he goes to ground and we all pile on and get pinged. Another poor kick (so low it takes a deflection off Gethin's 54" shirt on the way out) which goes out on the Wolverhampton ten. We pinch the lineout, the General takes it on a bit offloads to Symes who takes on further, we spin to Fitz, to Sean who cuts back inside, gets tackled but we set and look to go again, Phil sees it, looks to go blind, finds Nev and he puts another one over the winger's head and it goes out fifteen metres from their line.
The throw goes right over the top and we snaffle the Lucy, the General sends it out to Nev who dummies to Barrel and sends one over the top to Bean who "improvises" kicking it on the half volley and Symes clears it up. But there's a nudge forward and Wolverhampton get the scrum, they take it blind and work an overlap and Mike Neary makes a cracking tackle and dislodges the ball to boot, for a scrummage to Yards. Ball comes to Nev and again he pops it over the wingers head, he retreats collects and evades Symes and sets off across the park before making a good touch just on our ten metre line. Hard to believe given all our pressure it's till only a five point game.
Big Phil takes the lineout, pops it to not so big Phil who gets scragged, so Sean comes in at nine, he spins to Nev, Barrel comes in on the scissors, offloads to the Assassin, he gains a few more yards and the rest of the 677 pile in, Phil digs it out pops it to Shark, passes to Barrel who makes a few more yards, we set, Phil to Nev to Fitz to Mike coming into the line to Symes who skilfully takes it behind him, makes great inroads, inside their twenty two, offloads, Mike Neary to Nick Levey, we set Phil passes to Nev, he's tackled, Bilbo takes it pops it to big Phil and we set again, we come left to Sean to Mike he dummies inside to Rick, passes one off his boot laces to Barrel who goes to goes to ground and we drive over, lots of numbers, but it's a penalty to Wolverhampton for going over.
Lonie then proceeds to remodel one of his little fingers into a cactus and has to come off, the Major moves up into the second row alongside BMT and Roger the Dodger slots in at No.8. The kick unsurprisingly doesn't make touch only Rick's knees, he secures it on the floor and we set and spin, Phil to Nev misses out Barrel to Fitz who straightens up the line, to Mike who takes his man but ball goes loose just inside the Wolverhampton twenty two, scrum to Wolverhampton. Rog's presence is felt immediately as we get the nudge on, ball comes out to their fly half who yes you've got it kicks, fails to find touch but Simon instead in midfield who sets off dodging and weaving, gets in two or three hand offs but gets brought down just short of the line. Wolverhampton get the scrum, their fly half the ball, and his nightmare continues - the clearance kick going out a metre from the line.
Big Phil takes the lineout and we drive it on a yard then spin, Nev shows the ball, Sean comes into the line, lots of movement, big shouts from Barrel then Fitz, Nev dummies them both flat pass to Simon who lights them up and goes over for his sixteenth try of the season close to the sticks. Great stuff 10-0 Nev converts 12-0

Rupert takes the streaky restart, everybody gathers round, Phil pops it to Rog on the charge bish bosh goes straight over the top of the first two, makes ten yards route one, goes to ground and it's one of those odd accidental offsides that brings the half to a close.
Halftime 12-0 A score not really reflecting our somewhat rusty but moreorless total dominance. Sainsbury' isotonics all round think we've finally settled on the right product. Shannon & Mark swap whistle & biro, with the omni-functional Bilbo moving across from loosehead to tighthead. Ralph stands in at fly half while Nev nips back to the changing room to put a new lens in. No other immediate changes made.

Nev's restart evades everybody and goes out for a lineout to Wolverhampton. They secure and ball and it comes back to their fly half he's caught by Nick & BMT a few metres outside their twenty two, Sir sees something he doesn't like and we're pinged. Oddly enough the fly half doesn't find touch and Sean takes the catch and brings it back and looks to cut back inside, he finds Marcus in support who breaks two tackles before going to ground and we set. They're all over it and the General, but he manages to extricate himself and passes to Ralph at ten who puts in a neat chip into space deep in the Wolverhampton twenty two, it's a 50/50 foot race between the nearest defender and Barrel who opts for the unorthodox with a two footed sliding tackle, with both arriving at the same time the ball goes forward as Symes scoops it up and goes over, but the whistle has gone and it's a scrum back to Yards five metres out. The ball comes out at the side, Phil's out shopping round the back but the Wolverhampton flanker knocks it on, no harm done so we have another go which Wolverhampton take the opportunity to drive us off our ball and the No.8 picks up and the General makes the tackle, but the ball still finds the fly half who promptly drops it. Another scrum to us, steadier than before so we kick it back to them instead, and once again the Wolverhampton No.8 picks up at the base and flips the pass to his fly half who finally manages to get one away into touch despite the attentions of Symes & Phil.

Time for a couple of changes, Mike takes a breather, Ralph moves to fullback, Nev his vision restored comes back on at ten, and Horse comes on for Sean.

It's a messy lineout but we manage to secure at two, and Wolverhampton are drawn offside. The General takes a quick one, and Wolverhampton aren't quick enough so Referee Baldwin gives us another ten metres. Nev bangs it into the corner about six metres out from the goal line. Big Phil takes it cleanly at four and we drive it on, everybody's in and over we go and it's the General who emerges with the ball. 17-0 It's a great conversion wide out by Nev extending our lead to 19-0

Rick nursing a sore knee comes off and rather fortuitously Greg Allen fresh from a run out with the Development side has appeared on the touchline obviously to see his future uncle in law in action, and he's drafted into action.

The restart doesn't go ten, but we play it and we set, Rog pops the pass to big Phil who gallops forward, gets tackled but pops it up off the deck to Shark, he takes it on, not surprisngly it's Nick in support of his partner in crime, he feeds the Major who finds Horse outside him, he in turn passes to Barrel as our interplay increseases in tempo. Barrel takes it into contact and we set, Phil digs it out and passes to Nev (now at this point I hear myself saying here it comes) as Nev finds Shannon and he doesn't disappoint and like the fourteen teams before them Wolverhampton buy the dummy hook, line & sinker. Shannon, finds Nev he pops it to Marcus who in turn finds Bilbo, but Bill's pass to Nev is judged forward. Scrum to Wolverhampton about five metres out, which Greg takes against the head (all on his own obviously), Roger picks up & goes, but he's held up, Rupert takes the ball off him as we really begin to warm to our task, Wolverhampton look to have come offside, but we settle for the knock on and scrum instead.

Ball comes crisply out from Phil to Nev and Barrel comes in on the scissors and in a carbon copy of his first Nick keeps going like a hot spoon through a tub of Ben & Jerry's to score his second. 24-0 Nev in the zone makes no mistake 26-0 & Slow knows that's game over.

It looks like everyone's saluting as the sun starts to set in our eyes, and it's another low restart which Roger takes and sets off at flank speed steamrollering his way forward, even has time to sell a dummy to the General, and passes to Barrel who pops it to Ralph in support who turns them inside & out, the ball goes back inside and Marcus picks it up off the deck and we're still keeping it going, we set, ball comes straight to Ralph who sells a dummy and kicks forward, their No.8 collects and gets Horse too. We turn it over, the General takes it on pops it to Nick, makes a yard pops it to big Phil who takes it on, sees Nev who gives a well timed pass to Shark who cuts inside and goes over under the posts 31-0 Easy one for Nev 33-0.

The fly half has had enough and somebody else takes the restart and Bilbo takes it and sets off into traffic, Steps is first to him, the General offloads it to big Phil who takes it on a yard before passing to Symes who is driven into touch. Lineout to Wolverhampton, Fitz comes off Symes moves to outside centre, Mike Neary comes on to the wing and Nick Levey makes way for young Arkell.

It's a great take by the Major, we clear up and set, but the General gets sucked in so the pass goes direct to Nev who looks long but chips short the Wolverhampton centre collects but he's turned over, young Greg finds Horse who sets off building up a head of steam, bursting tackle after tackle and makes nearly thirty metres before being stopped just short of the line and the ball goes out in the corner. Lineout Wolverhampton but we steal at two and Rupe comes away with it, and the General whips it to Nev, dummy scissors off Barrel, and Symes takes a flat pass and jinks back inside, he gets pulled up about five metres out, Barrel's first to him, ball comes back to Phil who pops it to Ralph who finds Greg but the ball goes to ground (Vandal code for he drops it). Scrum Wolverhampton about five metres out, the first with all our big units on and we put on the squeeze and the Wolverhampton scrum half under pressure from Shark and Phil is forced to take it over his line and dot down. Attacking scrum five metres out.

Phil plucks it out from Roger's feet and sets off, does a run around with Barrel then straightens it up finds Marcus in support, he takes it back into contact, we recycle and the General sets off again, gets stopped, Mike's in to tidy up, he pops it to Ralph to Shannon who sells an outrageous one even for him, and passes back to Ralph and the ball goes to ground (remember code). So it's a scrum to Wolverhampton and they clear to Ralph who sends it back with interest the ball going out six or seven metres from their line. Lineout Wolverhampton, they throw to two and secure it, so we try to drive them into touch and Bilbo gets pinged trying to burrow his way in (excuse the pun).

They take it quick and Greg gets the tackle in, but the No.8 breaks clear and Marcus is first to him, and the ball gets squirted out, as to their credit Wolverhampton continue to try and play, albeit constantly in their own twenty two, but inevitably the ball comes loose & Symes is first to it, he feeds Barrel who spins it to Nev to Marcus and we take it forward again. Barrel takes it on after pinching it from the back of the ruck and he feeds the General who finds Rog who boshes his first would be tackler, ball comes back to Rupe, he spins it to Symes who pops it back through his legs, we spin it to Ralph who cuts back inside and into contact, and we drive it on a yard or two then release it again to Nev who finds Greg who pops it to Barrel looking for his hat trick, but gets held up, ball's off the ground and we pile in and set, the ball comes out to Symes who gets collared and turned over and the ball is nudged forward for a scrum to Wolverhampton. The No.8 picks up and pops it to his scrum half who kicks virtually direct to touch, gaining no ground and it's an attacking lineout five metres out. Roger takes it we set and Bilbo peels round to crash over close to the posts. 38-0 Nev makes it five in a row 40-0.

The restart doesn't go ten so it's scrum back to Yards, ball comes out the tunnel, so we have another go, Roger following orders leaves it, the General passes right to Nev who sends it back left to Barrel, to Simon at pace he evades the first tackler and keeps going, passes to Horse who's brought down. We recycle, Phil to Nev, no centres out there so comes back inside looking for support and finds it in the shape of Horse who sets off towards the posts, no one wants to know cept the fullback who's despairing attempt is brushed aside by the big man to go over under the posts 45-0 Nev makes it six 47-0.

They save the best till last as the final restart kick is perfect, high & long but straight into the arms of Roger and the 677 gather round, and somehow Wolverhampton burgle and come away with it and Mike Neary makes another great tackle, and they recycle ten metres from our line and playing for pride, Sir's seen an infringement and it's a free ball to Wolverhampton. No advantage comes, whistle goes they take it quickly their hooker runs into Arks who literally picks him up and hangs on to him, so ball (& man) held up, scrum to Yards five metres from our line. Greg gets pinged for foot up, penalty Wolverhampton, a lot of sides would have opted to get on the board, but Captain Nat decides on a scrum, they drive, No.8 picks up the General grabs a leg, Shark the other and we pile in and he's turned. Phil secures it, he pops it to Bilbo, to Ralph and we go from just in front of our line, he kicks ahead and Wolverhampton knock on and that's it.

Final score 47-0 final age a paltry 635 I blame Greg for being under thirty.

This weeks man in the dirtiest shirt award goes to Shark.
It took us a while to get into our stride having been out of action for a month, and whilst dominating really throughout the first half it was just final execution letting us down on two or three occasions when we could of gone in twenty points to the good at least. A very good Wolverhampton front row gave us problems throughout the game but in the second half those fond memories of 2010 came flooding back and we remembered exactly how good we are and we stepped up through the gearbox to run out comfortable winners.

Next week's game is one from the history books the Vandals v the Barbarians over at Moor Lane in Witton.

Slow.